Everyday Canvas

Masks and Parental Delusions

Prompt: “But no one is easier to delude than a parent. They see only what they wish to see.”
Karen Jay Fowler, from We Are All Completely Beside Ourselves
Did your parents see what they wished to see, and what about you, if you are a parent? What are your thoughts on this subject?


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Not only the parents, just about everyone sees what they wish to see. Some people even deny what they have seen if it doesn’t fit in well with their wishes, but this is only a generalization.

As to particulars, yes, my mother saw exactly what she wanted to see. To my mother, I could never do anything right. To my extended family, however, I was the model child. Even they saw what they wished to see. Go figure. Although this may be flattering, it is not the truth of who I am. Only my cousin who is also my best friend sees me as I am…I hope. I am worried that sometimes she caves in what the popular opinion of the moment is.

Did I see in my children what I wished to see? I am not the one to judge that. I did try to see it when they did something wrong, and I let them know it. I saw when they did right, too, and I praised them for it. I hope I was fair, although I was, still am, and always will be on their side. I hope I was fair and will be fair. Still, it is difficult for one to judge oneself.

Prompt: If a mask can make a person more obvious, why do people even wear masks, be it those masks may be psychological, social, or physical? In addition, do you let the characters you create in your writing wear a mask of any kind?

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It might be fun to wear a mask on Halloween or when attending a masked ball, but psychologically speaking are masks of any use?

The real use for masks came up in the olden times when people believed they needed masks to protect themselves from evil spirits. I guess the practice stuck inside our personas and we still are wearing masks like false smiles and dark glasses, and we also hide behind our cellphones and ear phones as if to veil ourselves from the rest of the world.

In addition, several emotional masks may be in existence, too, such as bullying, anger, name-dropping, showing oneself as someone else in some way, which is called the impostor syndrome. This is because of the fear of showing our true selves, the fear of our true selves not measuring up to society’s approval by not being skillful enough, good enough, beautiful enough or not being able to handle a difficult situation.

When the masks are down, however, people are relieved and they heal emotionally. In my writing, too, some of the characters do not know they are wearing a mask of any kind or even if they know, they don’t know how to handle life without them. When the character turns more authentic, the story usually finds its climax and the story goal is achieved. It is a good ploy to make characters wear masks in the beginning of the stories, so they can get rid of them at the end, and if they don’t, they face the consequences.