Fighting For A Life Worth Living

Day 2

Today went a lot better than yesterday. My husband's birthday is tomorrow and my parents wanted to treat us by taking us to his favorite restaurant to celebrate. It's a pasta place in Downtown Des Moines called Spaghetti Works and normally I am holding my stomach when I leave, since it's all you can eat pasta. Here's what a typical outing to Spaghetti Works looks like. First I order my beverage of choice, a strawberry kewi Italian soda. To make this soda they start with carbonated water and then add sugar filled syrups of the flavors you chose. These are amazing and free refills! Then comes placing our order. We always get an appetizer of cheesy garlic bread, it comes with their homemade fresh marinara. I'm drooling as I am thinking about it right now. For my main dish I usually order the grilled chicken alfredo. They offer a trip to the salad bar but its hit and miss if I go to it. Once you're finished with your entre a server will ask you if you would like another. I usually will get a second one. As you can tell I make some very bad choices when I visit Spaghetti Works, fortunately this time was much different. It started off well and ended with a loud woo whoo paired with a glowing NAILED IT! Here's the run down:
Beverage-Water
Appetizer-No Thank you
Salad Bar-You bet I wanted a healthy salad, I was starving
Main Entre-The usual grilled chicken alfredo
(It always comes with a slice of garlic bread, I only ate 1/2 a slice)
Did you ask how many refills I had? If you are dying to know and even if you don't care ZERO! This was such a large victory for me, there is only one thing to be said again NAILED IT!

Today's Struggles:
First there were times that I ate due to an empty feeling in my stomach, but after I ate I wasn't satisfied. I even waited 20 minutes and drank a glass of water. I'm a little confused why I would still have an empty feeling in my stomach after eating, drinking, and waiting. I don't know what to do when this happens, maybe I will try exercising or begin reading a horror story. Nothing suppresses my appetite like blood and guts!
My other two struggles dealt with overeating. My mother had baked homemade chocolate chip bar cookies for my husband's birthday. I tried very hard to limit myself to 2, but they kept haunting me with their gooey goodness and I ate 3 more than I intended. Tomorrow is a new day and who knows maybe my husband will consume the rest of the cookies and then I wouldn't have to worry.
Lastly, for most of the day I did well asking myself if I was truly hungry, but then we watched a little TV and the boredom eater in me came out. I snacked on animal crackers. I kept telling myself that this would be my last handful and then I would put the bag up. As quickly as I would finish my handful I would refill my hand with additional crackers. I was finally able to stop when I took a couple of handfuls out and laid them on my lap while I closed the bag and laid it upon an old night stand we have at the end of our couch.

My plan:
Try to remain positive by reminding myself that I did well for majority of the day. It is very easy to only focus on the negative parts of the day and that will only lead to depression. I want to continue focusing on asking myself if I am hungry before I eat. To limit my boredom eating I want to watch the least amount of TV as possible, although when I do I want to try brushing my teeth first or chewing peppermint gum.

"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship"

-Louisa May Alcott