My Thoughts: when the mood strikes.

Assertion vs. Agression

         While growing up, we were often reminded "Children are to be seen and not heard."  With this repetitive teaching, we learned not to assert ourselves because our "voice" about any given situation did not matter. 

         At least part of the reason that though I'm a grandma, I still find it difficult to assert myself.  More often than not, I stuff my feelings until I blow --- at which point I speak angrily and very direct.

         I had a situation this weekend where a friend and roommate at an event consistently took advantage of me---she always takes first pick of the beds, etc.  The proverbially "straw that broke the camels back" was when:

At the end of the weekend, we began packing our things into a vehicle (owned by and driven by another friend).  She started putting her stuff in, and I, likewise, began putting my things into the other side of the trunk (in the front since she reminded me that I would be the first one dropped off).  She then started repeatedly telling me to move my things to the exact same place on the other side of the trunk.  I continued, repeatedly responding, "Why?  What is the difference."  Finally exasperated, I violently threw my bags on the ground and said, "I am sick of this.  You have been bossy all weekend!" 

My future recourse:  Driving my own car and not sharing a room... with anyone.

         I wish there was a book I could read with alternative written responses to any given situation when someone is consistently running roughshod over me.  I took "Assertiveness Training" when I was young, which has helped some.  But I seem to attract people who like to treat me like dirt.

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         I've been thinking about this and I believe I could have saved myself a lot of grief by just saying "No."  God help me to overcome.