Fighting For A Life Worth Living

Days 33 and 34 - I HATE Rollercoasters

It has always baffled me why I am afraid of loopty looped rollercoasters but I do not mind the ones without loops. For years I thought this was strange and then one night my husband and I were at my parents house and our day trips to the theme park were brought up. I mentioned how weird it was that I will go on regular rollercoasters but not the ones that loop because I was deathly afraid of them. My parents gave me a strange look and told me that I have been on a looped rollercoaster (growing up I was always tall for my age, by fourth grade I was as tall as my mom who is 5'2. Since theme parks have a height limit and not an age limit I was able to go on most of the rides at a very young age). They said that I wanted to go on it when I was four or five and I came off of it screaming and crying because I was terrified. I still do not have any memories of this incident, but in the middle of our conversation my brother, who is 10 years older, walked in and remembered it too. I can assure you that I have not been on any physical rollercoasters this weekend, but it feels like I am trapped on an emotional one.

Friday evening my husband called me and told me that I received something from unemployment. Wanting to know what it said I had him open the letter. The judge had sided with the credit union saying I was terminated for misconduct. This is a load of bull s***, in the letter it even gave the definition of misconduct. Misconduct was a behavioral problem or me trying to intentionally get fired. When the judge asked the CEO if she thought I was intentionally trying to get fired she hesitated before answering no, so how the hell does she rule in favor of them? I wanted to see the letter for myself as well as make a plan for where I want to go next. I needed some time to myself to vent and try to find a solution for this problem. Before I knew it my bags were packed and I was on my way back home. Now, I am just browsing for jobs and applying if I think I would be happy there. I have promised myself that I will not take anymore banking jobs. Without question, this has been the low point in my rollercoaster; Let's talk about the high point now.

On Friday I wrote that I had exciting news to share. The News was supposed to be that I had lost 9 LBS. While at my parents house I became anxious and weighed myself. I wasn't sure if there would be a difference in scales and it turns out there was. Unfortunately I have not lost 9 LBS yet, but after the crazy week I had with all the stress and tests hurled at me, I returned home without gaining a pound! I think that is doing pretty good. BUT WAIT THATS NOT ALL! The other thing I am very proud of is that with all the extra stress I have faced I have not turned to food! When I first started this journey I would turn to food at any little bump in the road. I still have a long way to go, but I am making great progress at becoming healthier!