Hey, life? Are you kidding me?

Never Fully Trust 3:00 a.m.

This morning at 3:00 a.m., I was awoken. Now, this might be too much information, but this wasn't a real shock to me because it is normally this time when nature calls.

I either read a book or saw a horror movie where this girl was awoken at 3:00 a.m. every night - so it freaks me out slightly when this happens to me, but it is such a re-occurrence that it doesn't faze me much - plus add in there that my barely awake mind is screaming at me that my bladder needs my immediate focus.

When it happened this morning, I lie there longer than normal, because my back has been killing me and in my foggy state I wasn't sure which would be worse the back pain or peeing the bed. Eventually, I chose to be a good wife and not pee the bed I share with my husband, reasoning of course, that I would have to change the bed and that would really be inconvenient and painful to my back.

On my way to take care of business, I saw a flashing out the front door - like a light bulb that can't decide if it wants to be burned out or not. But, we've never had a working light bulb out there for the 2 years I've lived here. Then, I thought lightning but this was continuous and usually lightning has a partner - Thunder - and I wasn't hearing any.

Then my bladder screamed, "Who the hell cares! Go pee, woman!"

I didn't notice the light out the bathroom window. So upon washing my hands (I'm pretty sure I did - it was 3:00 a.m. so who knows), I went to check out the flashing light again

It was still going on; so, I decided I'd investigate. In retrospect, I realize now that I don't think clearly at 3:00 a.m. I had narrowed it down to 3 things: 1. Someone outside with a flashlight (we live on a farm, so this would not be a welcome guest) 2. Lightning who has had a feud with Thunder and they have separated ways 3. Aliens or supernatural beings (go ahead laugh - I understand). I opened the door and put my hand out to see if their was rain. No rain. Hmmmm. I thought maybe I should get a gun, but then I remembered who I am and that probably wasn't wise. I returned to the bedroom and could see the light somewhat out that window. I woke my husband to ask if that was lightning. "Woke" is not truly the right word. I said, "Bruce, is that lightning?" I think he said something like 'sure'. I'm almost positive he never looked. I asked where the thunder was. I guess he didn't know because he didn't say anything. . .there was a slight snore though.

I watched it for about 20 minutes. I heard some faint rumbling. In my wakefulness I have come to 3 possible solutions that involve flashing lights and faint rumbling in the middle of the night on the farm.

1. A burglar/killer who so weak from hunger he couldn't continue with his evil ways. Thus, the rumbling was his stomach growling.
2. Aliens who were having engine trouble and sending flash signals for road side assistance via space, of course.
3. Lightning and Thunder were having a huge fight. Lightning was yelling all kind of accusations, but Thunder was giving the silent treatment with just a couple of sarcastic remarks thrown in here and there.

I'm going with #3, because when I went out to get groceries the ground was pretty wet. Obviously, Rain came in as mediator and settled the spat and all is good in Storm Land now.

Or either the burglar/killer or aliens really had to pee at 3:00 a.m. too.

Happy Father's Day,
Audra