Everyday Canvas

Relationships: If Friends or Family Hurt Us…

Prompt: Close friends and people hurt us more than strangers do. Why do you think this happens?

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It depends on the intensity of the action, I think. With petty things, I can just look over or forgive and forget. We are all human at the end, but major things, they hurt forever, especially if the action was performed on purpose.

I think this is because, as human beings, we don’t expect nastiness from close friends and family, especially if we can’t turn our backs on them. For example, we can stay away from a rotten person like Hitler by changing the country or just avoiding being around him, but we can’t really do that with family members and friend groups. If we do, we’ll have to extricate ourselves from that group or family, and it will be a very lonely life. On the other hand, having to see them and run into them often reminds us of the injustice or the bad action done to us, and we keep on hurting.

Still, there is often a limit to what a person can do with a difficult family member or friend, especially when leaving or avoiding is not an option. I think the wise thing to do is not let that person’s behavior change who we are, as we should not let anyone reduce us.

Then, we can remind ourselves not to take the action personally even if it involves us directly. We must look at it as whatever has happened or will happen with that person is that person’s character problem, and we don’t need to convince anyone in the group or in the family or seek their approval.

We must also set our boundaries and protect them with zeal. Whatever took place happened probably because the other person thought it was his or her right to step on us.

In short, we can’t change what other people do, but we can keep ourselves safe and free and not let others dim our joy in life.