Everyday Canvas

When Being Oneself Is Bravery

Prompt: Do you think being oneself can be a brave act? Under what kinds of circumstances would we be afraid to be ourselves?

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Being oneself and acting accordingly depends on the situation. When people are supported by others and feel themselves to be worthy of love and belonging, they are being themselves easily, but this is no special feat because their upbringing, background, and social situation are in play. I wouldn’t call this type of a being and acting as oneself, bravery.

Yet, if someone is in difficult surroundings that make him afraid to be himself and he still is himself and acts as such, that would be bravery.

The kinds of circumstances that make us afraid to be ourselves could be those of danger. As a woman, if I were put in a situation, say where Taliban or Isis ruled, you can be sure I’d wear the Burka. I’d rather live, thank you! But a brave woman would not, even if she would be in danger of death or great harm.

Then another situation could be one of shame. We might be kicked out of a group, and to get back in, we might act as if we are a different person. What would be bravery in such circumstances would be trying to find a group we can fit in and join just the way we are.

Shame distorts things easily. When we want to fit in and can’t or match the needs of someone we love and they are disappointed in us, we feel shame. We feel unlovable and not worthy of attention. This feeling can lead to disaster in one’s life. When we overcome this shame and live a full, rich life being ourselves, that certainly shows courage.