Journal

Moving on?

So a while back I was at a work social event. Izzy was there, this was before I had feelings for her, she asked if people wanted to go for a walk. This resulted in me, her and another guy walking about 50 yards then stopping and chatting for a little bit. It seemed a little strange but I didn't pay that much attention to it, the event was winding down anyway.

The other day I overheard Izzy asking the other guy if he wanted to go for a walk to pick up stationary. At which point I started wondering if the reason the "walk" after the picnic was odd is because they weren't expecting anyone else to agree to the walk. They started at the same time and so do a lot of social events together (as youngsters are apt to do) and have lunch together. So it all seems like maybe they are together, but it seems odd if it is so secret.

I have vague memories of him talking about a girlfriend at one point but no idea if he could have been referring to Izzy or it might have been a previous girlfriend or perhaps they are having an affair.

On the one hand if they are together it would be good, as that would be fairly strong proof that she isn't pining over me. And if she is happy then that's also a good thing. But this not knowing is killing me. I should just assume they are together, but part of me kind of hopes they aren't as that would give the tiny bit of hope that something could happen between us (as I've already discussed that possibility doesn't really exist). There is also the small part of me thinking if they are having an affair then it could have been us (again completely ridiculous argument).

So does this help me move on? Does it just give me something else to think about and fret on?