Journal

why do I have no friends?

I was wondering the other day about friends. As I have said I don't have anyone I consider a friend. I have 60ish if you believe Facebook but I feel that definition of friend is:
someone who knows you well enough to work out that the profile they found belongs to you.

Unless of course you are one of those people who actively search out people on Facebook rather than just sitting waiting for friends requests to come in.

When I was a child I had friends although in our group of friends there were only a couple that I actually liked but that's kind of how friendship groups work. As is natural we grew up and people changed and as a result my opinion of some of them lowered. Some became a little sex obsessed which isn't that uncommon when you hit about 15. Some just became generally annoying.

I still had some friends, my girlfriend's best friend and I would chat on the phone for hours some evenings, plus there was my girlfriend. But over time the number of friends I had diminished. I think in my second year of college there was a bit of a resurgence due to me basically ditching my old group of friends and hanging out with people who I liked.

At university I didn't really have many friends, final year picked up a bit as the long hours and the stress start to have an effect and you need someone to moan about how tired you are.

Since then I've had a handful of friends with that number slowly dwindling.

The problem I have is the more time I spend with someone, the more likely I am to realize how annoying our boring they are or maybe they are mildly racist but not in a funny way. so the question is:
Am I less tolerant in my old age or do I care less about having friends, so put in less effort to ignore the personality traits that make me want to slap someone?

If me and my wife split up and it's that I am less tolerant does that mean I'm unlikely to ever put up with someone long enough to develop a relationship? Fortunately the whole escort thing looks fairly respectable now, I've never paid for sex but that would remove all the crap about needing to like someone.