Selah // Something Witty

So if you need a hero, just look in the mirror.

Date: 01.22.18 -- Day 75
Music: "After The Storm" / Kali Uchis featuring Tyler, the Creator and Bootsy Collins

I've been listening to this song on repeat for the past couple of days. It's got that old school funk, cruising around in the afternoon kind of feel. But more than that, there's this tough love kind of message that I needed, I think. Both blunt and encouraging. Both sympathetic and realistic. Life is rough. Everyone is going through something. So the only person who you can depend on is you. Yet, if we all do that, just try to get through the tough times to save ourselves, and lend that compassionate understanding to others, maybe things won't be so hard. Kind like the airplane philosophy of putting on your own air mask first before assisting others. If one is kind to themselves, then that kindness will stretch to the people around them.

This past weekend has been a life lesson in fiascoes where this song comes to mind. Because of the depth of my mother's illnesses, most of the medical and household items needed for the house are bought online. There's only so much I can do by bus or taxi (and because of my medical conditions, I'm not a good candidate for driving - another story for another time). Amazon, though horrible in many instances, has been a staple for us for some time. So we receive a ton of deliveries each week. There's enough cardboard in my apartment to open a postal supply store, I kid you not. I'm sure my neighbors have some fun theories on what actually we are receiving on a regular basis. It's a thing.

Unfortunately, things can get mixed up in transit. We seemingly "lost" three packages, two containing medical supplies, sometime on Thursday although the tracking number said that the packages had been delivered to our parcel box. This situation caused a bit of a pickle given that we cannot report it "lost in transit" to Amazon because tracking numbers don't lie. Well, they can, but the current system is treated as almost infallible. So there were numerous phone calls to our local USPS branch over the past several days. Teeth-grinding phone calls. A solid chunk of that listening to elevator muzac as people went from department to department.It wasn't just about the lost money if the packages just were lost to space and time. The medical supplies were needed in a situation where the status went for soon to really soon approaching desperate with each passing day. Miraculously, the packages arrived today, which was weird, because technically we're still in the phone tag phase when they magically appeared in our box this afternoon. I'm just happy they're here.

The whole situation was frustrating for everyone, and I think that can easily get lost in the mire of issues that popped up. From my family's perspective, it was about the money we spent that would essentially be gone, replacing the medical supplies again with some urgency, and ultimately, can we trust the delivery system again since we were given five different responses and no clear idea on what actually happened. USPS and my family are in a relationship where the power dynamic sits almost exclusively in their hands. However, and this is a big one, I can also imagine that things were not great on the other end of the delivery snafu. Postal workers of all stripes and companies have complex, demanding jobs that often go without anyone expressing gratitude. They must handle hundreds of thousands of packages every day while contending with things like transportation, delivery guarantees, weather conditions, human error, etc. Like anything involving more than two steps, there is great potential for everything to go wrong, even when there is nothing anyone can do to fix it. That's just the law of big numbers. So while we're angry and frustrated and anxious, so are they. Everyone has bad days. Out of all the things that went well, here was this problem with no clear answer and hundreds of moving parts. In truth, I think the carrier was having an off day, things fell through the cracks, and the packages were misplaced. It happens. But in that moment, all there seems to be is disaster.

As I hope this situation has come to a close, I am reminded that life is a rough road. It's good to remember that everyone is having difficulties. While one can really only depend on themselves, it's good to remember that kindness and understanding can go a long way in making those treacherous journeys a little less daunting. So I have a "thank you" note to write to my carrier. And a little prayer that whatever may be happening for them lessens as time passes.

We are alone, together. I don't know why, but I find comfort in that.