I had a stork visit me last year. He brought me another beautiful, bouncing baby girl. Well, she wasn't quite bouncing at that time. She was actually floppy and unable to move on her own. But now that she's seven months old, she's definitely bouncing. At any rate, when Mr. Stork showed up I had an important message to pass along to him and his cohorts: PAY IT FORWARD! Sure, I always dreamed of having a van-load of kids and using them to take over the world. The fact that many of them are redheads is just frosting on the cake. But...I think our minion allotment has been fulfilled and it's time to send the stork on to some other well-deserving household. Wait. What did you say? Whadda'ya mean I can't do that? Isn't that the way babies are "born"? Nuts. I should've known something hinky was going on... Ah, seriously though. This is one topic in a list of things I'd like to talk to God about one day: fertility. You see, I met a woman yesterday who was gushing over our latest addition. In the course of our conversation she told me she was unable to have kids. So I had this awesome idea: what if I could pass my fertility to another woman? Just wrap it up like a and hand it over. And when she's done using the fertility she could pass it along to the next interested woman. It'd be a win-win! Alas, I was not consulted when we were created. I suppose that's a good thing since I mess enough things up as it is. Can you imagine if I had any kind of control in the making of mankind? Every single one of y'all would be redheads! Welp, now that I've had a heart-to-heart with the stork it looks like it's time to have a chat with the birds and bees... |