Complex Numbers

Perchance to Dream

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/oct/22/cant-sleep-perhaps-youre-ov...

What are the signs that you may be overtired? If you get into bed at night and find your mind is still racing with what has been going on through the day, overtiredness could be to blame. During the day, you may find it difficult to concentrate or to see the wood for the trees in your professional and your personal lives. You perhaps catch a lot of colds, especially when you’re winding down for a holiday. You’re irritable and you find yourself reaching for sugary snacks to keep yourself going during the day.

I wrote a few weeks ago about sleep paralysis. It was tempting, when I was experiencing that more often, to avoid sleep as much as I could in an attempt to avoid that condition. But I noticed that, for me at least, sleep paralysis was more likely when I ran a sleep deficit, not getting enough sleep and staying awake too long. So I forced my rational mind to overcome the fear, not something that's easy to do.

For years, I never got enough sleep. I used to wish for time enough to catch up. Between working late and over weekends, having a social life, and wanting to play video games, the only thing that gave way in my life was sleep. I never really kept track of how long I'd sleep on an average night, but it couldn't have been more than 6 hours and was more likely closer to 5. And inevitably, around 3 to 5 pm, I'd crash hard at the office, sometimes even nodding off at my desk (never got caught doing that, at least as far as I know). My lack of sleep was only because there were so many things I wanted to do in a day that I simply couldn't fit them all in to 24 hours.

What I never got, though - what I never understood, even a little bit - was the idea that sleep is some sort of weakness. "I'll sleep when I'm dead" is something I've actually heard a lot of times, as if sleep was something to be ashamed of. I suppose it's just another expression of uniquely American puritanism - the idea that we have to be productive at all times, and sleep is not productive.

I never really wanted to be productive, just busy.

My sleep schedule is still fucked up, but instead of getting too little sleep, I'm getting - not too much, I suppose, about the standard 8 hours a day - but it's broken up. Sleep in late afternoon, around the time my system used to crash when I was working and not getting enough sleep, then wake up, do stuff, and finish the sleep cycle in early morning. That's why I keep doing these blog entries after midnight - I'm awake, my mind is as sharp as it gets, and I'm still usually hours away from another sleep time.

At least the sleep paralysis hasn't hit in a long time, but getting other people to understand and accept that this is my cycle is a bit of a chore.

I have the advantage of working for myself and generally being able to set my own schedule, but the vast majority of people don't. I wonder how many psychological problems could be reduced if people could just find their own cycle and abide by it.