thoughts, words, deeds

the coward dies a hundred thousand times

Prompt: “The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.”
― Umberto Eco, Travels in Hyperreality-
Are heroes cowards inside? What do you think?

I agree because people who don’t feel fear don’t have the ability to overcome fear, and that ability is what makes a hero. Being scared senseless and moving forward into greatness anyway. And I think that most heroes don’t realize it. They see the inside of their heads, the doubts and insecurities that we all face and they don’t see the shining stars that others can see.

There are people who are called heroes who aren’t. The real heroes are quiet and doubtful and certain that other people don’t see the person they really are inside. Because the kind of vanity that it takes to call yourself a hero is the kind of vanity that conceals a worse kind of self doubt.

I also agree with another writer, who said it’s much more difficult to live with yourself when your public honor is shining but your personal honor is in tatters—for one thing it’s much harder to look at yourself in the mirror. But when your personal honor is intact, it doesn’t matter what the world thinks. I paraphrased terribly—but it was Lois McMaster Bujold.

But I have to go run after kids. I’m heading back home next Monday. I hope the illness that I can feel creeping in on me will hold off until then.