Sandy Supposes....

Honouring Mom

PROMPT November 26th

Was there ever a time in your life when you didn’t want to do something, but motivated yourself to do it? What was the thing, and what did you do to motivate yourself?

         

         

                   

         

         August and September of 2014 found me dealing with a great many "things" that I'd rather not have to do. My Mother ended up hospitalized with what would turn out to be pneumonia and a staph infection. Both illnesses struck suddenly. On minute, Mom was in her home functioning and the next she was strapped to a gurney enroute, in a wailing ambulance, to her final hospitalization. Both infections progressed swiftly. She, however, shut down slowly, inevitably, day by day. Her decline could best be described as inexorable. It had its own timeline.

          Every day, my younger sister and I travelled the same roads in a 90-minute round trip. We paced the same hallways. We sat with Mom. We attempted to speak with her, and we listened to her feverish mutterings. Communication proved difficult. We did not have the advantage of context. We witnessed outbursts and strange ramblings. We consulted with medical staff. We drank too much tea. We reminisced with each other. We sent text updates to other family members.

         We could see that Mom was failing. Although incredibly painful, we decided that there would not be any extra efforts to sustain, or resuscitate her. Yes, we requested a DNR order. We had both heard Mom state that if necessary she wanted no heroics. She'd survived many a medical emergency and she was well aware this could not continue forever. She'd made her peace and accepted her inevitable death.. Mom did not wish to languish in a retirement home, and the idea of life support frightened her.

         When Mom died after a twelve day ordeal, there was a funeral to plan. We honoured her express wishes and opted for cremation.. I composed and delivered a eulogy. I hugged so many people and normally, I'm not a touchy-feely person. I received an outpouring of love and support.

         Post funeral I had an estate to settle. I executed Mom's behests. My sister and I emptied her home. We donated many of her earthly possessions. We created memory boxes for her immediate family and made sure to divvy up the extensive angel and Christmas ornament collection.

         Motivation? It's what Mom wanted.. She'd always taken care of us. The least we could do was honour her wishes and her memory.