Complex Numbers

Tea, Totally

I got hit by anxiety yesterday.

Historically, this isn't something that happens to me. I mean, sure, maybe if there's a specific thing generating it, like public speaking or having to go to a party where I don't know many people, I'll feel a bit nervous, or whatever you call it. But this is the first time I can remember just feeling it with no obvious reason.

I don't like it.

The only thing I can figure is after a long time, I'm finally feeling like being social again. I feel something other than a generalized sense of malaise and the certainty of impending doom. Those things, though, I've gotten used to. They comfort me. If this is what actual emotion feels like, then... no, thanks. I'd rather stay depressed.

Fortunately, there is beer.

This evening, BJ's (a chain brewery, but a decent one) had a Belgian Grand Cru style beer. It is delicious. I almost didn't go home.

But even I can't drink beer all the time. Mostly I imbibe Coke Zero; I want the caffeine but not the sugar/HFCS of regular sodas. And don't give me that "aspartame will kill you" crap; there are worse things out there.

Also, there's tea.

https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/best-teas-energy-digestion-sleep-more-ncna...

Tea is the second most widely consumed beverage in the world (next to water), according to the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations. While coffee drinking overshadows tea consumption in the United States, the Tea Association of the U.S.A. reports that 80 percent of American households have some form of tea in the cupboard, and more than 159 million Americans drink it on a daily basis.

I utterly despise coffee. Never got a taste for it. This, apparently, sets me apart from civilization in general. As an American, I'm supposed to be addicted to coffee. I think it's written into the Constitution or the Declaration of Independence: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that coffee is the national beverage..."

But no, apparently I never got the memo. Can't abide the stuff. The smell gives me a headache, and being around people with coffee breath is probably the source of my antisocial tendencies. But that's okay, because once I tell people I don't drink coffee, they look at me like I'm a reptilian alien from Antares 7. It's like:

"I don't have kids."

"That's cool."

"I'm an atheist."

"Hey, I understand."

"I don't drink coffee."

"WHAT THE STEAMING PILE OF FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

So like I said, there's tea. "So why don't you just drink tea instead of that nasty cola?" Well, because for me, even the most highly caffeinated teas put me to sleep. I can drink a pot of black tea just before bedtime and sleep like a... well, not like a baby, because babies wake up every hour and a half which is why I never wanted one, so let's say sleep like a computer that's been powered down and unplugged.

If I drink it with breakfast, all I want to do is go back to sleep. It's nice when I want to relax, though. I can drink non-caffeinated herbal teas, but there's no freakin' point in drinking decaffeinated tea.

My favorite tea isn't on the list I linked above. It's harder to find in the US, but I've ordered it from Amazon. Its name is going to trigger your inner Beavis and Butthead, so let's just get that out of the way right now:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pu%27er_tea

When you're done snickering like a 10 year old, I'll continue. Meanwhile, I'm going to go make me a pot of the stuff.

Ready?

Okay.

So yeah, Pu'er is strong, dark, earthy and bold. I drink it straight, or sometimes with just a bit of lemon because steeping it too long sometimes brings out a hint of bitterness. With a fairly high level of caffeine, it does what no other drink can do for me: make me relaxed and alert at the same time. It's a weird feeling.

And it sure beats the hell out of anxiety.