Complex Numbers

Rage of Aquarius

Do a bit of research on your Zodiac Sign. What are the associated characteristics of people with your sign and how do you exhibit those characteristics? https://www.horoscope.com/zodiac-signs

Aquarians: Most likely of all signs to consider astrology nonsense.

But hey, I don't judge. It's like religion - if it makes you feel good, helps you try to become a better person, and you don't try to force me to accept its premises, we're fine.

Thing is, I've actually studied astrology. There are aspects to it that are interesting, mostly the folklore and the math involved. Well. Interesting to me.

There's a lot more to it than just the sun sign, which is what you usually get in the pop culture "horoscopes." For the purposes of this discussion, we can ignore the "precession" thing, which means that all the traditional star signs are off by pretty much a whole month compared to their astronomical definitions.

"Sun sign" refers to the segment of the zodiac that the sun is in at a certain time. Usually this refers to someone's birth date, so when someone says "I'm a Pisces," that means the sun was in Pisces at their natal event.

But, in this system, the sun is far from the only influence. The moon sign has a meaning as well, usually taken to be the more hidden side of a person's psyche. So, for example, you can be a Capricorn with a Libra moon.

Consequently, as you might guess, the other planets (yes, the sun and moon are defined as "planets" in astrology) also have an effect. Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn have been known since antiquity. The discovery of other planets - which, again, includes things that aren't defined as planets by astronomers - led to their inclusion in the astrological canon: Ceres, Vesta, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.

According to astrology, your personality is influenced at birth by the effects of each planet as it relates to the sign it's in.

But wait, there's more.

There are other effects, reinforcements or contradictions, caused by certain alignments of the planets with respect to each other. If you're born on a new moon, for example, it's called a conjunction between the sun and the moon. Full moon - opposition. You can also have, say, Jupiter conjunct (or opposite) Mars.

Obviously you can never have Mercury or Venus opposite the Sun.

And just to make things more complicated, there are also squares (planets about 90 degrees apart) and triangles (planets about 120 degrees apart). Also, rising signs (the zodiac sign on the eastern horizon) and so on.

Oh, and then there are retrograde planets - those times in the Earth's orbit when a planet appears, from our point of view, to be moving backwards. They're not, of course - it's strictly a frame of reference thing. Those mean something as well, usually the opposite of what the planet normally means. Like - Mercury represents change (among other things), but when it's retrograde, it represents stagnation. (Mercury retrogrades happen on a regular basis.)

A "horoscope," then, compares the alignments at a given time with the alignments at a person's birth, and outlines the influences on one's life at that given time.

Because all of these things relate back to the moment of your birth, you need to know your temporospatial coordinates at that moment - time, latitude, longitude. Only then can you achieve a full description of your personality, needs, desires, predilections, and kinks. Even then, it's subject to interpretation and unknowable factors (say, maybe there's a planet yet to be discovered out in the Kuiper belt).

Now, I've never known the time of my birth, though I can pin down the coordinates to within a degree of latitude/longitude. So one time, I asked an astrologer to use my personality to backtrack what my rising sign must have been, which would reveal, to within 2 hours or so, what time I was born. At least - that's how it should work, right? If your rising sign affects your personality, then you should be able to infer the rising sign based on your personality. This guy knew me pretty well, so I figured it was worth a shot.

And - you probably know where I'm going with this - it could have been any of 8 of the 12 signs.

Astrology is bunk. But it's fun bunk.

So let's see what this sun-sign-only website has to say about me.

Strengths
Progressive, original, humanitarian, independent.

Oh, gosh, that couldn't possibly apply to anyone but Aquarians.

Likes
Fun with friends, fighting for causes, helping others, intellectual conversation, a good listener.

Nothing in there about beer.

Dislikes
Limitations, being lonely, broken promises, dull or boring situations, people who disagree with them.

Find me someone who likes broken promises. Further, I revel in dull or boring situations, and I absolutely do not dislike people who disagree with me (only people who are assholes about it, and, to be fair, I also dislike people who agree with me and are assholes about it).

Best environment
Any gathering of people to exchange ideas.

You know, I'm fine with that from time to time, but what part of "introvert" did you not understand? My "best environment" is being home alone with a bottle of scotch, a cigar, my cats and my computer.

Charismatic marks
Good looks, beautiful eyes, angular faces, thin build.

Oh hey, there's something to this astrology thing after all! Sign me up!