Complex Numbers

Historical Witness

What event from history do you wish you could have witnessed?

So many options...

I'll assume here that I'd be a kind of fly on the wall - unobserved myself, unable to affect anything, and unable to be affected by anything other than photons and sound waves. I mean, what's the point in observing if you can't observe? I'm also thinking this means singular events, not protracted ones such as wars.

This means that I wouldn't be able to pre-emptively kill anyone whose impact on history is negative, like the classic Hitler or the pure evil of Carrie Nation.

So, the first thought that came to mind was to observe the first moon landing (as per above, I'd be unaffected by the extreme heat or vacuum). It was, after all, not only the most significant thing we've ever done as a species, but the most significant thing I can imagine doing (we might set foot on other worlds in the future, but the moon was the first). Then I'd be able to tell all the retards who think the event was faked that it wasn't. But then I realized - these people are retards. They wouldn't believe me, anyway, any more than they do now. They're not worth my time, and besides, the event was well-documented anyway.

That got me thinking about conspiracy "theories," so of course the next thing I thought of was the assassination of JFK. But that's depressing, and besides, there were already hundreds of witnesses as well as video footage, and there's still controversy surrounding it, so why would I expect to see what actually happened any more than anyone else there? Besides, again, no one would believe me, so I'd only be indulging my own curiosity - and honestly, I'm not that curious about it.

Consequently, I figure it needs to be something that I'm personally curious about, but feel no need to share with others. If I take "history" literally, I'd be limited to the past 10,000 years or so; before then, there were no written records - hence, "prehistory." A shame, because I think it'd be fun to observe the presumed impact event that ended up wiping out most of the dinosaurs, or the moment some human first tamed fire.

Then there are the events that supposedly took place during historical times, but are of questionable historicity and/or the subject of contradictory accounts: Washington chopping down the cherry tree, the birth or death of Jesus, Alexander cutting the Gordian Knot, etc. Those are cans of worms I don't really feel like opening; again, we run into the idea that I'd have to satisfy my personal curiosity without feeling the need to convince others of what I saw/heard. Or didn't see or hear, in these cases. At some point, it doesn't matter whether an event really happened or not; it makes no difference to how we think about it.

So I think it depends on when you ask me. I'd have had a different answer last year, and will probably have a different answer next year. Hell, I'll probably have a different answer tomorrow. But right now, today, this article caught my eye, as it concerns two of my most favored historical figures:

https://theculturetrip.com/north-america/usa/new-york/articles/what-you-need-to-...

Given his longevity, bookishness, and outstanding oddness, it’s not terribly surprising that one of Tesla’s few friends was the writer Samuel Langhorne Clemens, alias Mark Twain.

Having met at a New York social club to which both men belonged, Mark Twain credited Tesla with curing his debilitating constipating[sic] with an oscillator that vibrated his bowels until he narrowly made it to the restroom in time to experience his remedy.

That. I'd pay to see that.