The Book of Masks (Abridged)

The Promise of Coffee, the Perils of Lunch

"I WOULDN'T RULE OUT ANYBODY," Eva says, and her tone is a little too grand for her own good.

"So you wouldn't rule out me?" You put on that shit-eating grin of Caleb's that you practiced last night.

Eva looks like she's been hit between the eyes with a 747, and she coughs suddenly.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," you say, and start to get up.

"Caleb!" Now she blushes.

You'll say this much for Eva Garner: She doesn't like to cause offense, unlike most of the other cheerleaders and upper-crust crowd. "Yes?" you ask. "You have a follow up, or are you testing to see if I answer to my name?"

She blinks rapidly. "It's not like that. Sure, I'd give you a ... a chance."

"Aw, that's sweet of you. Let's set a timer and see how long it takes you to decide that, Nope, you're not interested."

She scowls—half from anger, half from embarrassment, half from shame, you'd judge (despite the mathematical improbability), as all three emotions war for full possession of her face. "When I said I'd give anyone a chance, I meant—" She doesn't finish.

"You meant what? That you'd think about it for at least three seconds? Or that you'd actually go on a date with anyone if they asked you?"

"Are you asking me on a date?" she retorts, and her tone suggests she thinks she's trapped you.

"Sure," you instantly reply. Wow! It's amazingly fun to ask a pretty girl out when your own ego isn't on the line. "Go on a date with me, Eva."

"Is that a dare?"

"You tell me. Do you dare go on a date with me?"

You can't tell if she wants to yell or laugh. Maybe she doesn't know herself. "I'll take up any dare that you— I don't kiss on a first date," she hastily interrupts herself.

"That's fine. We'll get together, get some coffee, talk or maybe watch a movie together on an iPad, and if you touch me I'll scream." You grin again.

She laughs at that. You lean back in your chair, and let the boner that's been creeping up on you lift triumphantly.

"Okay. When?" she demands.

"Tonight. Seven o'clock."

You stare at each other. The funny thing is that she actually looks relieved, as though she feels she's met a challenge. Why anyone, especially Eva Garner, should feel relief at accepting a date proposal from Caleb Johansson baffles you. But her eyes glint and her cheeks dimple, and she holds your eye steadily.

Then she leans forward and cups her chin in her hand. "I'm not a snob," she says.

You mirror her pose. "I didn't think you were."

"So why'd you have to say all those horrible things about me before asking me out?"

"What horrible things did I say?"

"About how I wouldn't go out with you."

"You thought that was a horrible thing to say? Here's a horrible thing to say. Ahem. Imagine— Close your eyes. Imagine Keith Tilley asking you out."

Her brow darkens. "That's not nice, Caleb."

"Oh my God. Are you saying you'd have said 'yes' to him too? Boy, that makes me feel special."

"It would depend on how he asked me," she says. "I liked the way you asked me."

"How was that? What did I do that was right?"

"I don't know. It just was." She peers at you. "It made me see you a little differently."

"Hmm. Well, I don't wanna jinx it." You pick up your bag. "Seven o'clock at your place, right? See you tonight."

You keep Caleb's backpack at crotch level as you stand and turn, lest she see your erection, and at the doors to the library you adjust your pants so it won't be so noticeable to anyone else. But you remain stiff all the way out to the portables, where you squat and ponder the curious turn things have taken.

* * * * *

"Wanna go eat in a corner, talk?" you ask Will as you leave English class together.

"Why, you got something you wanna talk about? I was gonna go eat with Carson and them."

"That's fine. Grab Tilley while you're at your locker, let's make it fun."

The gang you're looking for is out front in the corner of the quad between A wing and the library. Carson Ioeger, James Lamont, Paul Davis, and Jenny Ashton form its core; occasionally Yumi Saito or even Cindy Vredenburg will join them. But today it's only Carson and Jenny and Paul, and even the latter keeps looking around anxiously, as though searching someone out. "Hey, mind I join you," you ask as you sit on the grass with them.

"Where's Prescott?" Carson asks. "You fighting with him again?"

"No. He and Keith'll be along in a minute. When do I fight with Will?"

"I dunno." He takes a bite out of his sandwich. "What happened to you in Chem?"

"I didn't feel like going. And fuck me, but it paid off. I went to the library instead, and—"

Someone lightly kicks you, and you turn around. Will grins and drops next to you. "So where's Lamont?" he asks the others.

"I guess him and Ioeger are fighting again," you say.

"We don't fight," says Carson. "We just sarcastically question each other's manhood when our disagreements become unbearable."

"I'd love to know where he is," Jenny says. She grabs some chips from Carson, who grabs some of them back. "Him and Yumi."

"Isn't it James who's usually asking where you are?" Will asks. "And Davis who's always asking where Yumi is?"

"She's supposed to be coming," Paul says, raising up on his knees and looking toward the cafeteria again. "But maybe she got stuck with Chelsea."

"Oh, man," Carson sighs, and rolls onto his back. "If I had some superglue I'd definitely arrange to get stuck to Chelsea."

"If you had some superglue you'd get your hand stuck to your cock," Jenny retorts.

"Hey," says Keith. "I wonder— If you got some superglue on your cock, could you get it stuck inside a—" He cries out as Jenny whaps him.

"Something for you to Google, Tilley," says Carson. "I can't imagine you finding out any other way, since you're unlikely to find yourself in any danger of getting your—" He breaks off as Keith reaches for him, but you and Will pull Tilley back. "But that reminds me," Carson says, turning to you. "How goes your time capsule paper for Walberg?"

"Awesome," you drawl. Will maintains a poker face. "I can't tell you how much fun it is write a paper about porn for school."

"Why are you writing about porn?" Jenny asks.

"I think you were off with Cindy that day," Carson says. "Go on, Johansson, tell Jenny why you're writing about porn for Walberg."

"Can we please not use 'Walberg' and 'porn' in the same sentence?" Will asks.

"Just because you're jealous of my idea," you dismissively reply. "Yeah, so, Walberg had us bury this time capsule last Friday?" you tell Jenny and the others. "For my contribution, I put in a bunch of porn on a thumb drive."

"And he let you?" Jenny gasps.

Caleb had something to say about that, but you don't remember what it was, so you just shrug. Will takes up the story. "He told Caleb that if he wrote a good paper on it, he'd let it go. So he's writing about the obsolescence of technology and the evanescent nature of standards of beauty."

"Hey, who's writing the fucking thing," you demand, and shove him. "I'm writing about the obsolescence of technology and the ever— evern-green—" you stammer.

"How long is the time capsule supposed to be buried?" Paul asks in a worried voice. "Because, you know, in ten years, let alone a hundred, I don't think they're going to be able to recover anything off a thumb drive. The technology will be—"

"Will be obsolescent!" Will cries. "That's the fucking point!"

Carson and Jenny exchange a glance and a grin. "Sounds like you really are jealous of Johansson's paper there, Prescott," Carson says. "What did you put in the capsule?"

"A hair dryer," he says. Howls of derisive laughter from Carson; guffaws from Jenny; a tittering snort from Davis. "Go ahead, laugh. Sure, I only put about two seconds thought into it. It's fucking Walberg, what do I care? Still—" He grins at you. "I'm writing my paper on Wednesday at the library, and Lisa's gonna be there too."

"Oh," Ioeger say with carefully studied cruelty. "What takes Lisa and Geoff Mansfield to the library on Wednesday evenings?"

You nearly reach over to hit him, but catch yourself in time. Will does it for you, though. "She's going with me," he says.

You pick up where Caleb would have if he were in his own shoes instead of yours: "You mean the way you went with her to that movie yesterday? In Mansfield's back pocket?"

"Okay, I admit, that was pretty pathetic of me," Will says hotly. "But I pulled it out. It's just gonna be her and me on Wednesday, like old times."

You'd have congratulated Caleb for playing it right, but he had to use the word "pathetic." Why should you reward the guy for that when you can go on that date tonight with Eva Garner in his place?