Charity Marie Blogs!

Lies, Abuse, & Trauma - The Michael Jackson Story

I don't know the wisdom of posting this mainly because I'm trying to figure out how I feel about it all. But also it's a controversial topic that has alienated people in the past, specifically my sister who absolutely vilified me for even questioning the legitimacy of the accusations. I have done a ridiculous amount of research on this over the years, reading book after book of stories. Unlike with the Harvey Weinstein scandals and the Bill Cosby scandals, the stories about Michael Jackson vary widely other than his obsession with children. Because Jackson was a victim of scams and abuse himself, it's hard to know what the answers are. But know this - I do not pretend to know the answers. I do know that if there is no truth, my heart breaks for the Jackson family. To have to try and protect a legacy that's wrongly vilified would be a nightmare. But if there is any truth, my heart breaks worse. Because then there's victims out there who've been ignored, labeled, and marginalized, which isn't right. We must never forget that those we idolize and put on a pedestal are also fallible humans.

I've felt for many years one of the main keys to this story is McCauley Culkin. If he ever comes forward alleging abuse, I won't hesitate to believe it. But he's been steadfast in his adamant denial of anything inappropriate. Given his drug abuse history, if anyone would target Michael for a quick score, it would be him. The fact he didn't come forward upon Michael's death or even years later, to me is far more telling than the tabloid scandal being sold as Leaving Neverland
https://people.com/music/michael-jackson-leaving-neverland-biggest-bombshells/

Watching what I can find of snippets, these two "victims" appear very rehearsed, which is an unnatural reaction for most sexual abuse victims even years after the trauma, especially if they're "still learning to understand" it as one has claimed. I know for myself as an incest survivor, there's an uncontrollable physical reaction that happens to me every time I talk about it. It's a body shiver and it's often reflected in my voice making it sound trembly. It's a consistent hallmark of many survivors - you hear it in Elizabeth Smart, in Rose McGowan, and many others who've come forward about their traumas. They can't withhold their tears and pain. These two men look like they're reading from a script. Obviously trauma is different for men than women and I'm not disputing that. But no reaction at all? I mean some things are just universal and trauma is one.

Could something have happened? Absolutely! It was the 80's & 90's. Parents made mistakes and make them still, allowing predators inadvertent access to their children. Where there's smoke, there's fire unfortunately. Do I believe these two who either lied under oath or are lying now? Not quite but I'm trying to give the benefit of the doubt. Being a survivor is hard and no journey is the same. But the fact that one talks about masturbation and the other a secret wedding is super strange to me and again, predators have an MO that's CONSISTENT over years (Cosby and Weinstein are perfect examples). They do the same things again and again because they WORK. The things these men talk about wouldn't WORK. The idea of going to jail for it as a deterrent has some legitimacy.

As the years have passed, I've recognized Michael Jackson as a tormented soul with great genius. It's obvious he was good at music but his genius took a heavy toll on him. And if he was preying on young boys, my heart hurts for them. But it was also over 30 years ago and I just don't see how dredging this old wound up again solves it. We may never know what really happened. We all need to find out peace with that. The bigger question becomes what do you do with the other side of this? On one hand, great evil. On the other great genius that changed the world. How do you reconcile that? Do you ignore the genius because of the hidden evil? Or ignore the hidden evil? Or perhaps a more middle ground of acknowledgement of both without celebrating either? I tend to be the last one. I cannot ignore the evil and I cannot ignore loving his music he created. There's darkness AND goodness in all of us. If I must accept that exists in myself in order to love myself, I must also accept that it's no less the same in others as well.

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