The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)

Can't Everyone Be Friends?

Previously: "Leaving as Lindsay" 

"I thought that's how come you put yourself in Lindsay's place!" Caleb exclaims. "To help manage those guys!"

"Yeah, by keeping Lindsay under control!" you retort. "But, y' know, you can help too by hanging out close to them. Keep an ear to the ground with them. That's all I'm asking. You weren't just gonna brush them off, were you?"

"They're sophomores, Will."

"Don't be a snob, cocksucker. I'm a sophomore too now, you know. Now. Oh, Jesus." You cover your face.

Caleb snickers. "That's right."

"Look, you were gonna wanna hang out and watch anyway. For science's sake, if nothing else. Remember how hot you all were to see how the masks work? Well, now you get to watch close up and personal."

He sighs. "It's gonna be awkward, man."

"It's not like you're Mr. Popularity up in the senior class. And if you really think it's gonna be awkward, talk to Bhodi and Joe and them about setting you up with an alias down in the sophomore class with them. With us."

"What, what?"

"That's the way to do it. Obviously."

"By turning myself into—?"

"What else are you gonna do with your life? Besides— Yeah, your and mine sophomore year sucked, but that's because it was us and we had a bunch of assholes in our year. And we still got the same bunch of assholes in it, and you're still stuck with them. So come back me and try it again, try to do it right this time."

"Will," Caleb groans, "I've grown to be really skeptical about these masks and whether they're a good idea."

"Which must be how come you're helping the rest of us with them," you retort.

He's silent for the rest of the drive, and when he lets you out he only says that he'll talk to you later.

* * * * *

"I'm home," you holler as you come in via the kitchen door. You're halfway across the living room before a glower from Lindsay's mom reminds you that you're not supposed to go "stomping around the house like an elephant." You lower your head and mumble that you'll be in your room.

You throw yourself onto the bed after you've shut the door, and glance around. Lindsay's bedroom is, of course, instantly familiar to you. The green-and-white wallpaper. The shelves lined with family photos and plushie cats and dogs. The vanity table with the mirror, which you make a troll-face into.

But only the small bookshelf stuffed with science-fiction paperbacks and TBPs of comic books was picked out by Lindsay herself. The rest of it—even the laptop—consists of hand-me-downs from Hannah, Lindsay's perfect older sister.

Who now works at Westside, where she teaches freshman English. Thank God she only started this year, and you didn't have to go through the humiliation of taking English with your friends from your perfect older sister.

You whip off the trucker hat, fluff out your hair, and jam the hat back on. With a cooler, more reflective eye than Lindsay herself could manage, you briefly survey the problem of "Lindsay Cho and Her Perfect Older Sister," and conclude (without a lot interest in the solution) that Lindsay's problem is more with their mom—who constantly holds the stylish, popular, and well-educated Hannah up as a model to be emulated—than the sister herself, who is always kind and thoughtful.

You snort. If only You should be kind and thoughtful like your sister wasn't another of Mother Cho's precepts.

Your homework is done at least, and you're listlessly studying the bookshelf for something that would appeal to you and Lindsay both when your phone dings. You dig out and tense at the text from Evie: u done yet? Meaning, is Lindsay is done with her meeting with Caleb Johansson and Will Prescott. yes, you reply.

were u polite?

With Lindsay's face you scowl; with your own mind you leap and skitter nervously. Evie has been sticking up for you every time that Lindsay has snarled about you, to the point that Lindsay has nearly given up even talking about you. You would love to text back something like, Yes, and now I understand why you like Will, I've decided he's wonderful too and we should all be friends. But even leaving aside that a text like that would sound sarcastic, it wouldn't at all reflect how Lindsay feels.

So you text back: yes i was sunshine and lollipops.

Messaging dots play for a long time before Evie's reply comes through, and the brevity of her reply tells you that she rewrote it a couple of times before sending it.

it's all over now can we all be friends?

You're almost wrenched in twain by two very strong responses: to happily accede to her suggestion, and to tell her that you'll never be friends with the kind of cocksuckers who did what they did.

So you try threading a middle course: hes pretending to b a stoner. that stoner he turned u into. can u b friends with that? You add a moment later: u can try good luck lol but i cant. Then: sorry evie even if i try its hard to b friends at school with person hes pretending to be.

Evie doesn't reply. Half an hour later you understand why when a text comes from Paulina. You hurl aside the Spider-Man TPB you were reading with a soft cuss word as you read Paulina's text: Evie says u r washing hands of will and Caleb. R u totally done with them?

yes, you reply. Then add: we not friends before why friends now? And: nothing personal.

Nothing personal bs lol, Paulina shoots back. What about rest of us? Ok if we friends with them?

You can only suppose that's Bhodi's influence there. You of course know what's going on with them, but Lindsay wouldn't, so you have to be careful what you say. You grit your teeth as you navigate the minefield. Pretending to be Lindsay in order to protect the guys is going to be harder than you thought.

In a rapid series of one sentence bursts, you text Paulina: ok by me. be friends with anyone u want. i will be polite. but dont make me hang out wit them. u know wills that dane guy now so b hard to b with him. Then after a pause during which Paulina doesn't even type, you ask, is evie mad at me?

No she is not mad, Paulina texts. Just do not make it hard for her.

hard how, you text back with trembling fingers.

Talk tomorrow, Paulina says after another long pause. You wonder if she's juggling multiple threads, and almost text Melanie to see if she's the third or even fourth corner in this conversation.

But you don't, and instead hurl the phone aside and hop around the bedroom in frustration. You put yourself inside Lindsay Cho's body in order to be close to the sophomores, including Evie. But it sounds like Evie is drawing away from Lindsay on account of Lindsay's hostility to you—a hostility that you had vaguely hoped to manage from Lindsay's end of things. It would ironic and horrible if you took over as Lindsay Cho right as Lindsay's friendships were fraying.

* * * * *

"Are you going to any parties this weekend?" Hannah asks on the drive out to school the next day. She always stops by and picks Lindsay up, and though it's not the worst part of the day for Lindsay, you keep in character by slumping in the front seat with your cell phone at your nose all during the trip.

The question makes you tense. "I dunno. Why?"

"I'm just curious." A pause. "Mom says you've been spending a lot of time with your friends lately."

"Is that a problem?"

"No," Hannah says softly. She says everything softly. Perfect Older Sister never has to raise her voice. "I don't think it's a problem." Another pause. "I always showed mom my homework when I got it back, so she never thought I was spending too much time with friends."

"Well, it's hard to show her my acting homework," you retort. "I don't even have lines to memorize, it's all just—"

"You've got other classes," Hannah gently reminds you. She glances over her shoulder and changes lanes. Her lips twitch into a faint smile. "Think of her as something that needs to be managed, Lindsay. Or outsmarted."

And this is another reason to resent Perfect Older Sister. She wasn't actually Perfect. She just knew how to how to keep her mother from peeking behind the curtain.

You quickly abandon her once you're parked in the teacher's lot, and hustle into the library, where you crane your neck, looking for your friends, and spot Paulina and Bhodi in a corner. They are sitting very close together, which warms both your real personality and your feigned one, even if Lindsay is still a little chagrined that it was something awful that finally pulled them together.

"Hey, morning," you sigh as you drop a backpack that's heavy as two sacks of cement onto the table. "God, you wouldn't believe the freaking conversation I just had with my sister." You describe it after falling into a chair.

But Paulina can't resist giggling. "So she's saying you have to train your tiger mom. Buy a whip."

"Fuck you. But I'm definitely hitting any parties that are happening this weekend." You look between them. "You know of any?"

She and Bhodi also exchange a glance. A grin spreads across his face, and he sits back with a shrug.

Paulina gives you a look. "I was gonna suggest basically a slumber party, but there's this party that Bhodi wants me to go to."

"Yeah? Where?"

"Laura Serrano's place."

Fuck. Lindsay's least favorite person in the whole wide world.

Next: "Life as Lindsay" 

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"Table of Contents (Vol. 2)" 
"The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)"