L'aura del Campo

Out of ... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ... steam

Out of ... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ... steam

I've been writing a blog entry every day since March 23rd. I've run out of steam. Hope to make it until the end of June.

I've written about 43 flash fiction as well. By the end of June that should be 50.

But, I'm not being read. Even at facebook. Today I begged there... and got some response. I hate to beg.

This is how the depression creeps in. That "imposter syndrome" of "will I ever do enough, be good enough" and the depression of "why bother".

I think I just expect too much. It's not for lack of trying. I reach out in so many ways to so many people in various aspects of my life. I just don't get as much back as I need some days. I long for the 80s and 90s when I was actually accomplishing something and dealing with people face-to-face. Maybe that's the problem.

I don't have much family, but even with them I'm the one making contact. As for friends... I no longer trust people so I don't hang out with people like I should. And the internet isn't nourishing.

I suspect that I'm actually doing fine in many ways.

If only I felt that way!

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