What am I Doing Here?

What kind of ship are we on?

I was going to write about something funny on our way home from a hazardous material place. Key words: home, navigator, Piping Rock., but something just came up-> life!
I have been married about 2 1/2 years. I think that I have changed to be a good, respectful wife. But in that change I am one of those boring, servile woman. I have held my tongue because I think that my husband may be showing the beginning signs of Alzheimers. Sundowning is the first one.
We don't argue about intelligence but many times I feel that he uses it to put down on things I say or do. He is saying that I am too sensitive. I can only take so much. I point out that I have survived for 65-66 years living by myself and taking care of my animals quite nicely.
Stan is a caring person. He responds that he is only trying to take care of me. Thank you Stan. I want to do things for you as much as you want to do for me. WE ARE A TEAM. THERE IS NO I IN TEAM!
Now he has started drinking. He thinks that I do not know that he is putting liquor in his coke. He drinks a couple of beers a day. He does not eat much and I think he has not taken his medicine for at least 4-5 months. What is one to do? He feels that he is always right. WRONG!
I took a vow on the Battleship Texas for better or for worse. I meant to do my darnedest to keep that vow. I just want to be more of myself.
So the big man up there has been very good to me. I have things that I have never dreamed of. I just want Stan to take his medicine. Use the CPAP. Walk/exercise and listen to me sometimes.
I plan to be there for him. And that time is coming. I have health problems that will not be ignored. I try to take my meds. I also need a little time to think. That's all. Can we do that? Don't know. we are the captain of our own ships. This means sink or float. The choice is ours.
Take care Stan.
Sweet dreams to all.