A modest journal. |
I was at a prayer meeting, praying and walking around the church waving a beautiful flag (greens, blues, gold trim---leaves). A lady moved out of "the circle" and came sat in a chair to the right about three aisles back. She confronted me harshly----saying: Please don't wave that thing over me; it's distracting. It's not of God. What are you even praying? Not expecting to be lambasted at a prayer meeting---unbelievable, shaken, disturbed to the core---I responded, I do not receive that, attempting to let it go, praying and staying as far away from her as possible. Later she came toward me with arms open wide. I shook my head, No. Do not come near me and do not speak to me. She later gave a half-baked apology via e-mail. Because her apology merely diminished her misconduct, I told her it's best she not speak to me for awhile. My first mistake when the event happened: I was offended. Second mistake: I told another lady (albeit one of the elders) what had happened. Third: That night, I barely slept, and I carried this for the next three or four days. What helped me move forward: (1) Realizing my response was more important than the incident (from God's point of view). (2) Learning about echos of trauma from our past --- this lady obviously has big negative echos. (3) Realizing that from this particular incident two of us were hurt AND affected. I was planning to take a few piano lessons from her; after the attack, all I wanted was to keep a safe distance. (4) I asked God what turning the other cheek would look like in this instance. (5) He showed me turning the other cheek would be doing the opposite of my inclinations---thus, turning a curse into a blessing and accomplishing the opposite of the enemy's intention (also an echo of my pastor's words). (6) Since then, I've seen this offending lady at a few meetings; and it's been okay---no traumatic after shocks. I haven't spoken to her, but I am no longer feeling defensive. Instead, I remember the Lord's Words: Bless those that persecute you; do good to them that despitefully use you... Pray for them, etc.. -Matthew 5:43-47 Doing the opposite of what we are inclined to do in this type of situation is what turns this world upside down for Christ... See Acts 17. |