What am I Doing Here?

Who's the Boss?

Today was not my best day in Broken Arrow. I woke up at 1:15 AM and from then on, had various things disturb my sleep. Itching ears, sticky eyelids, and worry about the spot on my forehead that I must get checked out. Even more, I am worried about my husband who has time of clarity and energy but most lately, what I think is sundowning effect and extreme tiredness.
I got up at the usual time. Got out to walk Balto. Then tried to help Stan with the hanging of his Indian picture. He wanted it just perfectly centered in the spot he chose.
Then I needed to feed Shadow. I had to run back and forth to her room to give her some food. I wiped my hands on a paper towel. Balto was inside and got the paper. He ran in the kitchen living room with it in his mouth to get me to try to get it. In other words. He wanted to play. Since I was so tired, I did not want to play. I told him to put it down or "leave it" but that made him chew it and keep it in his mouth. I do not want to be controlled by any animal.
When Stan came in from what he was doing, I told him and he tried to blow it off.
Then I said the words I will regret, "I hate this dog!" I felt Stan jerk and knew that he was so disappointed. I left the room but returned to explain what happened and say that I just did not want to be controlled by any animal.
I felt bad. I think that this set our relationship back a little. I also explained that I did not get enough sleep and was so tired.
To make the story short, I feel that we are on the way to repair our marriage/love by recognizing feelings and working together to make a training program suitable for us and Balto. Balto being the trainee. He will not be beaten but given orders in a firm voice. We do care about each other and our animals. We want to be good family members.
But later I think God gave me another chance to show that I do like Balto when he had a light bulb in his mouth. He scared the daylights out of me and I screamed, "Stan! Come! Emergency!" He saw the light bulb in Balto's mouth and used, "Leave it!" correctly. Balto dropped the bulb and Stan immediately secured it. He later went to our guest room and put the other light bulbs in the closet. Safety first for Balto will always be our goal. We care for all of our animals. But Balto must learn who is boss. The bi-pedals.
I hope that our marriage and our spouse's happiness will be a goal too.
Love you Stan.