Perpetual Ruminations

Can I Break the Block

The weekend has arrived much as did most of the week, with a chill in the air, and more rain. After a rather busy week, the weekend should be calm and relaxing even though I probably won't have much quiet time. With no school, the girls will want TV time shortly after they get up. They also have a habit of making sure I can't get too involved in anything.

It's both annoying and humorous at the same time. If I try and engage in some activity with them, they tend not to want to engage back. There are a few things, but not many with watching TV at the top of the list to-doable things. Of course, TV is always at the top of their to-doable list along with screen time on their tablets/phones.

As long as it's the tablets/phones, it tends to be quieter and I'm more able to engage in other things. However, if they notice I'm engaged, it's almost certain the volume will go up, or the earbuds will come out, just to provide some distraction for me. The TV also tends to keep them entertained, but the background noise is very grating for me, especially when they are watching animated shows.

No matter what they engage in, however, they will notice soon enough if I'm engaged in something and provide distraction. Seriously, if they see I'm writing or reading, they will disrupt me. The older one will talk to me or ask me something that rarely has any importance or need. Half of the time, she doesn't even pay attention to my reply; once she has my attention, she's good.

The younger one will come and stand next to me and just look at me until I stop what I'm doing and ask her what she wants. The answer always starts the same. "Sorry, I seen you were busy and I didn't want to interrupt you."

I'll reply with something similar to, "I see. But, you have my attention now, what did you want?"

It's usually something simple, like wanting something to eat or drink, wanting to play with her hamster, read, or draw. Things she really doesn't need to ask for and doesn't unless it's required to get my attention.

Of course, both of them have some issues from their past, that's why my wife and I decided to become their foster parents and now adoptive to one and will soon be to both. It's understandable, giving their past, but still very trying for me, especially if I'm reading or writing something. I thought it would get batter with them as time passed, but so far there really isn't any change. Simply put, they do fine by themselves, but they have to know I'm paying attention to them.

Of course, during the week, with school in session, I should have plenty of time for me. They are at school, my wife's at work, and I'm here  alone with the family dog. So, far, however, it's been pretty busy  and not a lot of time for me. What time I have had is being used up getting caught up in things that have been put off. But, I'm getting caught up and appointments are tapering down.

Hopefully, with some time to myself, I can once again get into some writing. It's been way too long, way too many blocks, and I'm in withdrawals. Yes, being introverted, I need alone time; it's not a desire, it's a need, as important as eating, drinking, and sleeping. I also need to write, it's how I function in life and as important as breathing. It's how I refresh my cognitive browser.

Hopefully, I will begin writing a poem this weekend, something for Halloween. Sure, the weekend isn't the best time to start writing, but the desire has struck and if I don't act on it, if I put it off for next week, it's going to fade away into the deep recess of my mind where many writing ideas have gotten lost over the last year or more. No, I must start it now, while it's surfaced; it's time to end the writer's block!