Porthole

The 29th... respect... every 4 years.

Barbara died on the 29th of February ... 6 cycles ago?

Memories fade.

Friends were there with her. She had a husband, cancer, two children. Peaceful to let someone go her friends said.

29ths ... every Gregorian calendar month has one. Does the day ever get respect other than in a chilly northern-winter month that's short for no common-sense reason. Couldn't January and March be a bit more generous?

But in the North, January holds on tight to its bitterness and its parsimony crammed deep in empty pockets. And March is so enamored with False Spring it quite forgets...

April remembers.

With it's daffodils and pink-blue-yellow bunnies, and parades mourning a long-dead Guy. Who held His hand while He was dying?

Evening of April 29th: a day of Glory in the month of Glory. I was suicidal. Having lost my job and health-insurance I went off Paxil ... cold. Not bright.

Being told that maybe I should let go of a friend was more than I could handle. I would eventually lose most everything but him. We talked this week as we have for 17 years. It's been that long since last I saw him.

But that evening... so depressed. Thank God for Adam and Carol and Jan. Did I ever tell them how much they meant to me that day?

But Barbara... what did she lose? Other than her life. It was Ayyám-i-Há, as it is every 29th of February. A day of celebration (there are 4 or 5 in total) and preparation for the Bahá’í Fast.

I used to have parties to bring people together and give them gifts... looking back... well... the effort is what counts! I tried. Every year I tried. Even at my job place. My last day there... I had published a book of poetry. Silly poetry, but it was something to give them.

I don't do much giving anymore. But I should. People don't need to know why. Not-their-business. Should've done something this year. Too late. I really don't have the time. Maybe a random day when I get back from my travels come May? After-all, May is my favorite month.

May 29th... no memories stand out. June, July, August?

Perhaps February is short just to show the number 29 some respect... every 4 years.

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