30 Day Blogging Detritus, March Edition

day 22- dear ignorant me

Write a letter to your younger self. Tell them about something or someone they should be wary of as they move through life and about a specific event they should look forward to.

Yikes. Here's goes...

Dear Trailerpark,

You cannot be trusted to make good choices.

Love,
Trailerpark

Just kidding. Lemme try again.

Dear Trailerpark,

You cannot be trusted to make good choices because you don't know as much as you clearly think you do. Don't feel too bad, it's not that something's wrong with you per se, it's just a hallmark of human behavior- usually between the ages of 10 and whenever-we-get-our-heads-out-of-our-asses. For some that may last a lifetime, so pay attention if you don't want to be grouped in that pen.

The first thing that I know to tell you to help ease this personality deficit is not to be afraid to admit you don't know something. There's no law against not knowing something. (With the exception of stuff like it's not ok to kill people and steal stuff- but I'm sure by now you've at least grasped that elementary concept.) You only sound like a douchebag if you try to make up some s*** as you go along to sound like you know it.

Piggybacking on this little nugget is don't be afraid to admit when you're wrong. You don't have to get all self-flagellating about it or anything, just say "I was wrong about that". There. No big deal. Despite how your mother behaves, life is not a contest to be "won" by being right. This is the case whether you're wrong about something innocuous like a trivial pursuit question, or something more important like how you handle relationships. Add an apology if you really should, but most of the time admitting you were wrong is just as good.

When you hit 18ish, you're gonna meet a guy named John Bales. Run in the other direction as fast as you can. In doing so you will:
*Save yourself from s***ty grades in college classes that you should pay attention in because you'd really enjoyed them if you weren't on acid. Also, you shouldn't get s***ty grades.
*Avoid a prison sentence by the skin of your teeth.
*Avoid countless fights with your parents (not that you'd get along with them anyway)...
*Spare yourself from what will undoubtedly be the most broken heart you'll ever have. (Like, you'll still be missing some parts of it at 44 years old, broken.)

Not that I expect you to heed this warning, because like I said, you're a moron who thinks she knows everything anyway. Also, he's gonna be really, really hot and that's tough to get past.

Here's something else you think you know but will find out later you didn't know s*** about: having kids.
I know our childhood was f***ed up- I was there. But don't listen when you tell yourself (especially during a bout of insomnia, with or without the acid) that you have no business having children because you'd be a s***ty mother. All of that is simply not true. Period.
Don't get me wrong, you won't get knocked up on purpose (with any of them)- but holy s*** are you gonna be happy. Look forward to that, you're gonna have a blast. Trust me on this one.

Alrighty, well I've got a hundred other things I could lay out here but it would be overkill because they're all variations on the same theme. Don't be an ignorant douchebag, and open your heart. Except to John Bales. f*** that guy.

-TPB