Complex Numbers

Doesn't Really Satisfy

Time to do entry #6 of 8 for

Journalistic Intentions  (18+) This is for the journal keeping types that come to PLAY! New round starts July 1! #2213121 by Turkey DrumStik

Let's start by breaking down the description: Snickers S*per B*wl LIV commercial

1) Snickers
2) S*per B*wl
3) LIV
4) Commercial

1) Snickers. This is actually the least offensive thing to me on the list. If I wanted a candy bar, and there was nothing left available, I'd buy a Snickers rather than not have a candy bar. That's the best thing I can say about Snickers. I hate peanuts with an all-consuming, fiery passion and I almost wish I were allergic to them so I'd have an excuse to keep them the hell away from me.

I like peanut butter, though. Go figure.

2) S*per B*wl. I'm bleeping that out because the actual name of the game is copyrighted, and I don't want the lawyers (paid for out of nonprofit profits) coming after me. The last time I saw that game, it was when Springsteen did the halftime show. That was the only draw for me. I couldn't possibly care less about sports in general, or American football in particular. Know what I did last time that game came on? I went to Alamo to get drunk and watch the Groundhog Day movie. There were a lot of pissed-off employees there, because the movie started like an hour before the game did, and they all wanted to run home to see it. Yeah, the theater closed early that day just so employees could get their halftime commercial break fix. They were open on Christmas Day, but not S*per B*wl evening.

At this time, the Alamo is indefinitely closed, for obvious reasons. I wonder how many of them wish they'd spent the rest of February 2 making their wages & tips.

3) LIV. Know what I hate most about that game? The numbering system. Not the Roman numerals; I had those figured out in elementary school. It's that the first one was played the year I turned 1. That means that if you want to know how old I'm about to turn, translate the Big Game number into Indo/Arabic numerals, and there you have it. It's a constant reminder of my age, and I don't like it one bit.

Also, I was kinda pissed about 50. Every other one was numbered in Roman, but apparently they thought our puny little minds couldn't handle L, so they just called it 50. What will they do if they make it to 100? We'll C. Well, I won't. But some of you might.

4) Commercial. Eh. I've ranted about commercials in here before. I hate them with the fiery power of a billion merging black holes. I hate them so much, I've never had cable - the idea of paying upwards of $100 a month and still being subjected to goddamn ads made my blood boil. I'm fully aware that most people find them, at worst, mildly annoying, and I'm not trying to convert anyone to my point of view or make some grand statement about the evils of capitalism (hey, capitalism keeps me alive). It's just that whenever I hear "Oh, I don't care about the S*per B*wl; I just watch it for the commercials," my mind shatters into digital breakdown. I can't compute. I mean, I understand the urge to watch sports, even though I don't share it. That much makes sense to me. But ads are something to avoid, not look forward to.

These days, with streaming, I can avoid commercials, and it costs me less per month than cable. Granted, I don't have every streaming service out there -- notably, I skip Hulu because they like to charge AND show ads -- and I missed out on the whole Game of Thrones fad, which, after having the ending spoiled for me, I have to admit filled me with the warm glow of schadenfreude.

And finally, that particular commercial.

It... didn't age well, and it's less than two months old.

I admit it's pretty damn clever, though, and it pokes fun at a lot of the things that used to be wrong with the world before things we can't even see became what's wrong with the world.

And I do have to say that the ending had me