Complex Numbers

Relax

Does anyone else go through life feeling like an outsider everywhere, or is that just me?

PROMPT May 3rd

What do you do you relax and unwind in the evening? Paint us a picture of your ideal relaxation

I am fortunate in that I have nothing to unwind from anymore.

That wasn't always the case, of course. Used to be, I'd come home from work and play video games. Now I just play video games. Or do whatever: write, learn stuff, browse the internet (outside of these 30DBC months, I have to find blog fodder somewhere), read, watch shows or movies, that sort of thing.

I've heard people say that they wouldn't know what to do with their time if they retired. I have never had that problem, nor have I wrapped my identity up in my work (my profession, sure; once an engineer, always an engineer, working or not). I'm never bored, though I sometimes look for some new experience or knowledge -- everything is potential material for writing, but that's not why I do it; it's mostly for the experience, and the writing is secondary. And I still don't have time to do all the things I want to do.

It's like when I went with friends to see the 2017 total eclipse. I've mentioned that in here before, I think. It was my first eclipse experience. I know a lot of people who prepared with cameras and whatnot. While it was tempting to try to get photos -- I used to be a photographer, though I gave up the professional side of that when everything switched to digital and everybody became a photographer -- I figured there were 30 million other people who would be standing, sitting, or reclining in the path of totality, and at least 5 million of them would be able to get a better photo than I could (I was never all that great at it, to be honest). Rather than trying to compete with that, I decided that instead of fiddling with equipment, I'd just absorb the experience.

And I'm glad I did. But everyone else around me seemed like they had to be doing something else, mostly involving cameras. Again: outsider.

Mobile phone cameras suck for recording eclipses, by the way. As most of those people found out firsthand.

I don't know. If I'm still around in four years, there's another eclipse then, also here in the US. Maybe then I'll try my hand at photographing it, since I already had the experience.

Yeah, I know I've gotten off track; I do that sometimes. The point is, I don't do things just because "everyone else" is doing them, nor do I refrain from them just because "everyone else" is doing them. I want my own experiences. Hence the "outsider" comment above.

There is one place where I feel less like an outsider, and this brings us back to the actual prompt for the day. That place is the quintessential location for relaxation: a bar. While some are more welcoming than others -- there's not much I hate more than a crowded sports bar with pitchers of Bud Light and 35 wide-screen TVs, all showing different sportsball games (or, worse, inane commentary on said sportsball games or, even worse if that's possible, ads) -- in general, if I can sit down at the bar, have a drink, and pass judgment on their liquor and/or draft beer selection, I'm happy.

Best of all are the craft breweries, where I can chat with the bartender or fellow beer drinkers about the brews. Now, don't get me wrong; I also very much enjoy other adult beverages, but the beer culture is where I fit in the most. It's usually an exception to me feeling like an outsider. That is, until someone inevitably asks me if I brew my own beer. No, I do not. There were, before the pandemic, nearly 10,000 craft breweries in the US alone, and there will always be someone who brews better beer than I could. Besides, I know enough about the process to understand that brewing is 90% cleaning, 9% waiting, 0.9% mixing ingredients, and 0.1% enjoying the fruits of one's labor. This doesn't strike me as a worthwhile use of my time, not when I can go to a brewery and enjoy the fruits of someone else's labor. Besides, I hate cleaning.

We'll see how many breweries remain after the pandemic. I'm preparing myself for tragedy, though I'm doing my part to keep my favorite local one in business by ordering delivery from them once a week. And then, if and when I can drive around the country again, I'll resume visiting whichever of these establishments are still... you know... established.



Meanwhile, I have my delivered craft beer and I have my cigars; and I have a deck behind my house with a patio table and umbrella, and a laptop to watch movies on. What could be more relaxing?