Blogocentric Formulations

No excuses, but horse-trading and bribery are allowed

"30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  | May 18

Prompt ▼

What chore do you most dislike doing? Tell us a creative story about how you might get out of doing it.

If I were choosing one particular chore, it would be cleaning the bathroom.

But the biggest dislike I have about cleaning is more a general category than a specific task. I hate doing the detail work. I'm more than willing to clean up big mess. Sweeping or mopping the floor? Cool. Wiping down the mirror and scrubbing the toilet and the shower? Fine. I'm all about doing the heavy lifting and getting it 80% of the way to being spotless. It's that extra 20% that kills me. The scrubbing every crack and crevice, or the spending several minutes on one particularly stubborn stain on the carpet. When I clean, I'm all-in for quantity over quality. I want to do the biggest and dirtiest jobs that, after twenty minutes, will have the greatest visible indication that I have accomplished cleaning. I love to clean off the counters, or pick up clothes off the floor, or put the kids' toys away because all of those things give you a huge return on your investment in terms of making the house visually cleaner. Not so much with the grout work, or getting those final pesky streaks off an otherwise clean window.

And while this might sound like a cop-out, I'm not going to tell a story about how to get out of doing a chore I hate because I'm a freaking adult and my choices are either to buckle down and get the cleaning done, or live in squalor. When I was a teenager living at home I might have tried to come up with some creative excuse to avoid responsibility, but as an adult with my own place, I honestly don't want to get out of doing the thing that I know will make me happier and more content to live in my home. If there's one thing that quarantine and shelter-at-home has taught me, it's a renewed appreciation for tidiness and how much more relaxing it is to live in a space that's clean and not overflowing with junk. It's not particularly creative, but if I wanted to get out of doing a particular and specific chore that I didn't want to do, it would involve trading something else with my wife or kids. If I don't want to clean the bathroom, I'll scrub the food spatter off the stove. Or sweep off the patio. Or vacuum under the loveseat and the sofa in the living room. The thing I've come to learn about being an adult is that it's not about getting out of doing something you don't want to do... it's about tradeoffs and figuring out what you're willing to do (or pay) in exchange for getting someone else to do it for you. Not doing it isn't an option.