Complex Numbers

Orange You Glad This Wasn't You?

Something a little different today.

Also, Merit Badge Mini-Contest below!

https://medium.com/better-marketing/the-worst-rebrand-in-the-history-of-orange-j...

The Worst Rebrand in the History of Orange Juice
They paid $35 million to then lose $20m in sales

So why am I linking something about orange juice? Because it's a product, and some marketing techniques apply to a broad range of products... like, for instance, your writing.

Not that I know jack squat about any of this. Which is why I read them -- to confirm that not only do I not understand, but I will quite probably never understand. But maybe this will help someone else. Or, hey, maybe you just like orange juice.

In hindsight, it’s easy to see why Tropicana’s 2009 rebrand failed.

No. No, it really isn't. Not to me. And even the author explains, later, that it shouldn't have taken hindsight.

Less than 30 days after launch, they pulled the new design off the shelves and went back to the old one.

Which probably explains why this is the first I'm hearing about this. Coke's "New Coke" fiasco personally affected me. I don't drink orange juice, so I never noticed a rebrand.

The article helpfully includes "before" and "after" pics.

Without even getting into the subjective topics of visual appeal and recognizability, some design flaws practically stare you in the face.

But do they, really?

After the rebrand, the font was thinner, the same color as the remaining text, pushed to the side, and, worst of all, vertical. No matter how great your juice is, if it can’t heal neck pain, don’t force me to tilt my head sideways to read your name.

I have the ability to read text upside down, sideways, backwards, mirror image, upside down mirror image... the latter takes me a bit longer, to be sure. I can also write in all those directions. The sideways text wouldn't even impinge itself upon my consciousness. But hey, not everyone can be a super-genius, I suppose, and you have to market to morons.

What’s more, white font on a yellow background is a weaker contrast than dark green on a white background — especially considering they stuffed it inside the juice glass.

Okay, on that part, I can see their point.

Beautiful design is important, but if it’s not functional, it won’t matter.

Function is more important than form. Well... for me. Engineer, remember? But I can admit that when it comes to trying to sell shit, part of the function is to catch a viewer's eye (or ear in the case of radio). That requires form.

“Historically, we always show the outside of the orange. What was fascinating was that we had never shown the product called the juice.” Really? I mean, it’s juice. Give me a clear symbol of it, and I’m good to go. And what could be clearer than the actual fruit the juice is from?

Somewhere in there, I think, is probably a metaphor for promoting one's writing. I'm not quite sure what it is, but I'm pretty sure it's in there.

The one thing I’ll give them credit for is the cap of the new carton. It had the haptic structure of an actual orange. “We engineered this little squeeze cap so that the notion of squeezing the orange was implied ergonomically.”

Look, I know what "haptic" means, but a few paragraphs ago this author was complaining about jargon (I didn't copy that part, but it's there). Also, making your orange juice cap look like an orange is a surefire way to get me to purchase a competitor's brand. If, that is, I were inclined to buy orange juice.

But then, I freely admit I'm not a typical consumer.

So, anyway, like I said, maybe someone else can make more sense out of this. And hell, why don't we make it a mini-contest?

Merit Badge Mini-Contest!

Know any good (by which I mean bad) marketing failures? Comment below. The one I like best will earn its author a Merit Badge. Two restrictions today: 1) Don't talk about New Coke. I know about New Coke. I suffered through the Great Coke Crisis of 1985, and I have no wish to relive those horrid months. 2) Don't use this blog as an example of a marketing failure (I'm including this because I'm the sort of asshole who would do something like that, and besides, I'm not trying to sell anything here. Quite the opposite.)

If you can't think of one, it's not cheating to use Google. Mostly I just want to understand this marketing thing better, and, just like they kept showing us the newsreel footage of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge collapse   as a warning in engineering school, I think we can learn from failures as much as from successes. It's best if it's not our own failure.