Complex Numbers

The Force Is Strong in This One

Maybe I already have a superpower. How would you know?

PROMPT September 5th

Imagine you have a superpower of your choice. However, no one knows about it! What does your superpower enable you to do? Do you confide in anyone? What happens?

If I confide in someone, that violates the "no one knows about it" requirement. Just saying.

Here's the thing about actual comic-book style superpowers: you'd better hope you have an extremely powerful one, or once somebody finds out about it, you're going to disappear for a very long time while they run tests on you.

So you just have to make sure that nobody finds out.

It's kind of like winning the lottery jackpot. I mean, being rich is kind of a superpower by itself (one I wouldn't mind having). But the point is, if you go public with your lottery win and stand up there grinning and holding that gigantic fake check in front of cameras, it will be approximately 15 microseconds before your mobile starts lighting up with scammers, long-lost relatives, and long-lost scammers. And then there's the IRS.

So, you know, you discover you can fly, and you swoop around for a while and people see you, and then next time you land you'll find yourself netted, tagged, and rushed off to Area 52 for observation, tests, and vivisection. Yes, Area 52. Area 51 is too public.

Or say you can Jedi Mind Trick people into thinking these aren't the droids they're looking for, and as soon as it wears off, they'll come for you wearing earplugs so you can't convince them of anything.

Super-strength is another obvious and popular one. Also very useful. And maybe you could pass it off once or twice as adrenaline or whatever, but eventually they'll catch on and boom - underground in a vault made of 6-foot-thick titanium walls.

Then there's invisibility. You might think, "well, they can't Gitmo me if they can't see me," but really, invisibility is trivially easy to get around. Blow some flour into the room, and then your outline becomes powdery-visible. Also, you're naked. Seriously, though, invisibility wouldn't be all that great - in order to see, light has to get focused by your eye lens and absorbed by your retina, and if those aren't visible, you're blind, which effectively makes everyone and everything else invisible to you. Better would be if, instead of actual invisibility, you have the power to make people not notice you at all. This happens naturally when you hit about 50 years old, though, so you could just wait.

Worst of all are the powers that rely on external objects, like Green Lantern's ring or Ant-Man's suit. (I'll spare you the science of why Ant-Man could never be an actual thing.) Someone steals it and poof, no more powers.

So if I could choose a superpower, it would be one that would be useful in multiple situations, easy to conceal, and has a chance of getting me out of Area 52 should I slip up and get captured by dudes wearing dark suits and sunglasses. Telekinesis, say. Being able to move objects with mere thought is more useful than most people give it credit for. Especially since I wouldn't have to, you know, get up from my chair to get a beer. Or hold it in my hand to drink it.

What, you were expecting me to use it to fight crime? Or commit it? Nah. Too much work. Can't be arsed.



(Edited to add) oh yeah, Merit Badge.

Today's goes to Lilli 🧿 ☕ because I want to see a video of this:

Might be a good night to dance in the street wearing my witchy apparel, while sipping cabernet from my crystal skull goblet.

Still in Birthday Week, so another one of my free MBs will go to a commenter of my choice tomorrow!