Complex Numbers

O'zapft is!

Hey, this one's pretty easy for me.

PROMPT September 26th

It’s apple-picking season where I live and I’m so excited! Write about your favorite seasonal activities. What is something that only comes once a year, but you always look forward to?

I'm not a fan of Christmas trappings, and New Year's just brings fresh horrors. Thanksgiving does little for me, because my family is mostly gone and I won't cook a turkey for just myself. Halloween is kinda fun with all the spooky stuff, but it's not really a big deal for me, either. My birthday would be kinda cool, but it's in February, and I hate February. Easter isn't something I celebrate, and Pesach means schlepping to my few remaining family in New York City (not this year, though) and trying to find a parking spot in Manhattan on a holiday weekend. You'd think that being a would-be comedy writer, April Fools' Day would be my holiday, but I tend to spend it in my room under the covers, lest someone mistakenly assume that it would be funny to play a prank on me (it would not). Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor day -- all just another day for me because I'm retired.

But there's one thing I look forward to every year, and -- you guessed it -- it involves beer.

I speak, of course, of Oktoberfest (which is really celebrated in late September because Germans are weird). (I can say that because my dad's side of the family was German.)

So it's going on right now, and the one thing I look forward to every year is getting to drink Oktoberfest beer, aka festbier, aka Märzen lager.

The story behind why Oktoberfest beer is named after the month of March is an interesting one, but I can't be arsed to look it up right now. As I recall, there was a period when Germany, or rather the nation-states that would later become Germany, forbade the brewing of beer between, like, April and August, or thereabouts. This had to do with refrigerators having not been invented yet. So they'd brew some beer in March and let it sit in barrels in caves or some shit until it was time for Oktoberfest (which itself started out as a wedding celebration for royalty).

Like I said, not looking it up, so I might have some of the details wrong, but that's the gist of it.

Anyway, point is, these days Märzen lager starts hitting shelves around late August, and I drink the hell out of that shit. My favorite is a local one, an Imperial version called Hansel and Kettle that's high-octane and delicious. The "Imperial" style name is borrowed from Russian Imperial Stout, which isn't actually Russian but British, and that's a whole 'nother story that I won't get into right now. It mostly just indicates that a beer has a higher ABV than usual, and that other ingredients have been balanced out to compensate.

But I'll try any festbier, if I'm at a taphouse or whatever, and they usually have a consistent quality to them because the recipe doesn't allow for too many variations.

Another thing that lights up what's otherwise a crappy season for me -- I know a lot of people like fall, but I despise cooler weather and prefer the sweltering heat of summer and, especially, its mild nights here -- is pumpkin beer.

But pumpkin beer varies wildly in quality. Some don't even use much pumpkin, just the ever-present fall staple of pumpkin spice. Some are way to sweet for my taste. Others are entirely too much pumpkin, not enough spice. But when I get a good one (Pumking from Southern Tier, out of New York State, another Imperial variant, is my favorite), I drink it. Still, it could go away and it wouldn't affect me much, as long as I get my Oktoberfest.

I have a vague desire to go to actual Germany for the celebration sometime, but it's usually really crowded there, and I don't do well with crowds, beer or no beer. Still, for the experience, it might be worth it.

So that's the big thing I look forward to. As the weather continues to turn against me, and Märzen becomes but a memory, I'll probably be drinking more Russian Imperial Stout. But that's not seasonal. Festbier is.

I'm told that the title of this entry translates to "It is tapped!" which traditionally opens the festivities in Munich. But I don't know much German, so hopefully it's not actually something rude.