Enga mellom fjella

Coffee and stained lace [236]

"The dying process begins the minute we are born,
but it accelerates during dinner parties."
-- Carol Matthau

For

SURVEY

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Coffee and stained lace

"You don't have to criticize...

         "I'm just pointing out...

...that you're a bigot. By opening your mouth you remove all doubt."

         "but...

"...nothing. The maid is trans and did you notice the gardener speaks perfect English because he's not from here. One of their daughters went on a year abroad in Nigeria. She met a very nice local guy who's studying to be a doctor. She's pregnant. Gina is Muslim but eats with her left hand because she had a stroke.

Guy took a breath.

"So sit and be quiet...

Sussie got up with a huff and turned to leave.

...and if you can't be quiet don't come back."

The other guests were aghast. It wasn't polite to point out people's faults and even worse to confront the offender!

Dessert came in just in time for the hostess to try to set the house on fire. Once lit the flames from the rum cake stopped all conversations as fear glowed behind the eyes of the stunned guests.

Guy took that moment to stand up and clap... and then went to search for Sussie.

She was speaking to thin air. Ah... bluetooth. Guy was always startled by new technology. His family followed the old ways... And although he wasn't as strict he found some of the 'conveniences' inconvenient... like talking at a distance, writing at a distance, living life at a sanitary distance. He came from a family of huggers.

Guy only went to these parties to please Sussie who refused to go alone, and truth be told... she did need a chaperone. She was definitely not pleased as she shouted to no one in particular about Guy's mental, emotional and sexual short comings.

He didn't mind who knew about THAT but he was mentally sharp and quite in tune with others albeit always a bit flat or sharp with the Diva also known as Marie Sussie. She had warned him... once... that Sue Ellen wasn't good enough a name for her and Suzy was just too common.

Some days Guy wished she'd just go back to 1919 when the name wasn't so uncommon. Would suit her right.

Even his family tried to give their multitudinous offspring modern names. They didn't always succeed as his brother Zo (Zachariah Obediah) often pointed out.

Guy coughed. "Dessert has been served."

Sussie ignored him.

"Dessert has been served." His lowered soft voice was not to be ignored. Sussie turned to him and walked past huffing as she made her way back to the dinner party. She grabbed the last piece of cake to spite Guy.

He said nothing and complimented the hostesses on the meal and wondered whether he could have some coffee.

Taken a back by his non-imbibing request the youngest wife (of three) sweetly smiled and said, "Yes, of course."

Sussie turned green her breath reeking of rum.

"How is your parrot Hilda these days," Guy politely asked the man sitting beside him.

"Swearing up a storm. If she says...

"Here's your coffee dearest."

... one more time I may lose my mailman."

"That bad?"

"Yes she ...

"Who cares about parrots?" Sussie threw out her arm and spilled Guy's coffee on him.

"... Mop up in aisle ...

"Oh, shut up, you old bag of bones." Sussie was fed up and stood up."Sorry, but we have to leave early. Guy?"

The ride home was cold. 80 degrees and freezing.

Guy saw Sussie to her door and then pecked her on the cheek. "I need to get up early. Good-night." Then walked across the street.

His lace cuff was going to be stained if he didn't wash it immediately. He changed into a t-shirt and shorts.

Sussie wouldn't notice of course. Sussie didn't care. But it was the only good outfit he and Zo owned. Zo would need it for Sunday when it would be his turn to chaperone Sussie. Guy smiled at that thought and left the lace to soak.

"We have only so much time in this life," he whispered, "when I'm with Sussie I feel like it's running out."

Zo overheard and nodded.