PORCH PONDERINGS

Counting Sheep and Hoping for Sleep

So here's the deal. I had a sleep study. I thought the results were bad. I mean, the wording was such that I thought I was going to die in my sleep sometime soon. But then I do tend to be dramatic. So I went to the sleep doctor today to get the real report, straight from the horse's mouth as they say. Seems that I slept very well, had a good report. Well done, little soldier. So then why do I feel so rotten all the time, so tired? wake up? can't stay asleep? She told me I probably have something called "paradoxical insomnia". I will now copy and paste the definition from the internet.

Paradoxical insomnia (previously called sleep state misperception) is characterized by complaints of little or no sleep over long periods of time without the level of impairment expected with such a level of sleep deprivation. Patients often describe heightened awareness of their surroundings when lying down to sleep.

Okay. I guess that pretty much sums it up. I don't seem to sleep in my mind, but the sleep study shows that I actually did. Weird. So my prescription is to sleep no more than 5 hours each night. Decide on when I want to wake each morning and count back to when I have to go to bed. That for me is now 2 AM. No naps, no sleeping aids. Then eventually add 15 minute increments to the amount you allow yourself to sleep. You have to retrain your brain to sleep. This, I have to tell you, freaks me out. I have a fear of not sleeping. I don't know why. But what the h, I'll try. After all, I'm retired, I can fall asleep in my soup without a boss yelling at me.

Today was the Billings run. We did Costco, a grocery store, dry cleaner, hardware store, the sleep doctor, lunch out, and my highlight, a haircut. Busy day. We try not to go to Billings more than once a month, but lately it's been twice a month. And now hubby wants to go to Red Lodge, beyond Billings toward the mountains near Yellowstone, tomorrow to fish. So we'll be driving again tomorrow. We're still using the rental car. Ours is still being repaired. Something about getting parts from Subaru is making this whole repair from the deer collision take way longer than it should.

OctoPrep this year is a whole lot of fun! I'm doing some encouraging, and then some judging. Way more fun. I guess I miss the excitement of seeing my name on the log with a work in progress, and logging the assignments on time, and then going to NaNoWriMo and logging all the word counts there, but this break for 2020 is sure enjoyable. Next year I may do another work. I had something in mind for this year, but it just wasn't the right time.