My Journal

Where is my muse

Where is my Muse?

It has been over a year and a half, since last she visited me. I’ve missed connecting with her to become a fountain of words expressing ideas. Sometimes it was a good way to purge my soul. I miss that.

I was more than occupied, with my wife. It was strange how easy it was to let her become the center of my life. With Suzy gone now, I need my muse in my life again. My muse projects herself on the big screen in my mind. The screen is quite dark right now. I hope, I pray for inspiration, a project with which I can fill empty hours doing something useful if only for myself. I’ve stopped dreaming about being an influence on others. Perhaps, I have nothing left to say. Years have passed accelerating as the numbers on my calendar became more impossible to understand. Where has all the time gone? Where is the realization of my dreams? Why am I in this two-room cell with memories and freshly preserved smells that carry me close to her for a moment of yesterday. She lives but a moment and then she is gone leaving me gasping for air in a brief part of today. Now!

I inhale slowly through my teeth, knowing there is no one else here to be annoyed by the sound.