Perpetual Ruminations

Up to My Caboose in Problems

Second entry for the day, however the first one was posted for yesterday but submitted after midnight. So, this is actually today's entry, after which, I'm thinking it's time for bed.

My topic tonight is kind of a rant, but if you happen to read this and have any advice, I'll gladly listen, err read it, that is.

Yesterday we had a bit of a blow up with our younger daughter shortly before bed, and by the time things de-escalated it was past eleven. Since she has some issues from her past, she's adopted, I knew she may not sleep well, or even be back up, so I gave her till after midnight and then checked in on her. She was sleeping, but very restless. I was late getting in here as a result, and late getting to bed; I crawled in a little after three this morning. I get her and her sister up for school so the alarm sounded at six-twenty five after a bit of a restless night myself.

She has been doing pretty well, in general, but if things are getting to her, she escalates quickly and her defiance flares. Over the last couple weeks, it's been kind of hit and miss with her, but in general we have kept things manageable. I know part of her problem is change, she does not deal well with any change, and big ones can really mess her up.

The big change a week ago was my wife getting moved from nights to days. Week nights it's just me and the girls, and we have our routine pretty well set. But now, my wife, the girls grandma, is home shortly after they get home from school. It's been a difficult transition for both girls, my wife, and somewhat for myself.

Another pending change is the school, which is in a hybrid mode, is closing up at the end of the month until after New Years. It's an extended Christmas vacation with some distance learning involved, and neither of the girls are looking forward to it. The younger, however, is most distraught because she will be separated from her friends and really loves school.

The biggest problem, however, is with one of her instructors. Since she has some learning challenges and an IEP, she goes to school all week. If she was in full stream classes full time, she would do distance learning on Monday and Tuesday, have Wednesday as catch up day, then attend regular classes on Thursday and Friday. Instead, she attends advisory class on Monday through Wednesday so she can get extra help.

Things were working fine until she was having a bad day and things escalated and she ended up with a day of in-school suspension. She wasn't happy, but took the consequences and then moved on. Her advisory teacher's para, however seems to be knit picking over little things that were never a problem before.

Most of the stuff going on is all blown out of proportion, like her spending time on her phone or chatting on her school tablet with a friend while they work on homework together. She is getting A's and B's, but they continue to say she's not doing any work. Worst of all, they don't address it to her more than to mention it. After which, my daughter tells them they can look to see that she's working with her friend on homework, or she's done already.

To make it even worse, instead of handling the situation right then and there, the advisory teacher will email me and tell me what's going on, then want me to talk to my daughter about it after school. Since it usually comes up in the mornings, it's hours after the fact, and not really my problem anyway. I addressed this issue to the advisory teacher and told her flat out, if you want to gain any respect from this girl, you have to enforce the rules and policies, not email me to tattle on her and get her into trouble at home.

But, it has done no good, and I do talk to her after school and try and be open and trusting. She has not shown me she is behind in anything and I have no reason not to believe her . But, the damage is still done. She attends school all day and then comes home to be lectured on things that happened hours before. It's got her on edge, and it's not doing any good; it may be doing more damage.

I've decided I'm not going to address anything school related with her unless it's something serious, that will take a lot of pressure off my daughter. But, the emails will still continue to flow in, sometimes three or four a day. Do I reverse the situation and replay back about little issues going on at home and ask the teacher to talk to her about it the next day? I doubt she would get the hint. I even thought about acting like I take her numerous daily emails as flirting and make a pass at her, maybe then she will back off? I just don't know. I mean after coming right out and telling her face to face, she needs to impose the school and class rules at the time, not email them to me, I wonder if anything will get through to her. Do you think if I attach a scantily clad, provocative photo of myself she'll stop?