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 shenanigans and shillelaghs |
| Strong. feeling strong. And proud for standing up for myself. Also grateful for my friends, and family. I need them so. |
| Blah. Yesterday was my birthday, so today, probably due to a sugar crash, I am melancholy. I feel a little lost lately. As if I have left a part of me somewhere and can't remember where I set it down. I have been trying too hard to play nice I think, and have would up making it that i ahve to be selfish in order to survive. I have wants, needs, and expectations. which I overloooked for a long time. Now I want it all, and so I have almost split apart, hence the left behind feeling I guess. One side wants to just play nice, so everyone will leave me alone. The other wants to stand up and demand proper treatment. |
| sad...My life just keeps getting more and more chaotic. I no longer feel as if I have any control over it all. Time is slipping away, and I feel as if it is being wasted as well. I am sick of hurting, and wishing for change. Though I have so much going on, I still feel as if I have become stagnant. Mired in muck somewhere, hoping for a sweet spring shower to free me. Silly, foolish ideas. |
| So tickled that I am featured in the newsletter! I feel as if my little baby is going off to school! I never dreamed I would have so much fun here, and I am so glad I have found this site to play at! So many great reviews have been given to me, and I am grateful for them all! I write from the gut, whatever comes flowing out of me is how I put in down, and it is so very cathartic. I feel as if I grow daily from it. Feelings can go rancid inside if we don't release them, and this is my release! |
| Busier than ever! I am working very hard at keeping my new little business afloat, as well as my Avon, along with maintaining my home, and working at my job, taking care of my kids, and their pets. Etc. I am going to a chiropracter to try and fix my many back/neck problems, so far I have learned that I have a twisted pelvis, and lower back, and no natural curvature in my neck anymore, today I find out what to do about it all. yay. Life is so very strange. Also way too short to be unhappy. I am struggling with not smoking. still. And sometimes wish I could just start back up, but my pride, luckily, won't let me. I can just imagine someone saying "yeah..well, I didn't think you would be able to do it anyway." And then me having to strangle them. I don't believe I would have the power to stop myself. I would at least be thinking very hard about strangling them, and they might choke on a peanut or something.:) |
| So very excited! I am opening a stall at my local antiquey type store, and I cannot wait to get in there and have all of my items I am working so hard on displayed for all to see! My hard work there for people to find, take home and love. Aaaahhh how satisfying that will be! Nervousness and excitement are vying for the top spot in me right now. I just hope all goes well!That everyone loves my wares, and spend lots of money on them! |
Still overwhelmed by the generosity I received here from the kind anonymous soul who upgraded my account. It was very sweet, and very much appreciated!! thank you whomever you are! I am still having trouble with not smoking. 4 weeks tomorrow, I thought it would get easier, but it just doesn't. sigh. Sometimes, I think to myself, "self..(teehee)..maybe you should just smoke. You have no patience now, and everyone would be happier." then I realize, I don't have pms, so they don't have to deal with that every month, so big deal if I'm bitchy now. I am earning the right to be bitchy! Then I in my newfound wishy-washiness think that no one deserves to have to deal with some bitchy ass person. BLAH!!! |
Feeling like the biggest butt in the world. I am. I have no patience. Usually I have a limited amount at least, but ever since I quit smoking? None. Zippo. I try. I really do, but I just cannot take one more stupid pointless phone call from my well meaning husband. Especially one where I can hear him smoking in the background! Or my son, calling to tell me he's "gonna come at me like a spider monkey!" Ok, that bit is funny, but still, leave me alone, for pity's sake. I am at work, at one of my many jobs, and I need a little peace and quiet. My sanity is at stake. Would they listen if I told them this? No. They are male, and so would pretend to, just as my other two kids pretend to hear me. They don't though. They look as if they are listening, but inside their minds I wonder if they are playing Super Mario Bros or something. If I am home painting, sewing, reading, making dinner, doing the laundry, in the crapper for God's sake, do they leave me alone? No. No. Has anyone said, Kelly, it's hard for you right now I'm sure, let me help you..or Mommy, I love you, and I am proud you quit smoking so I don't have to watch you die a horrible death as you cough up your lungs!. No. That's ok. I'll keep on keeping on, and the very next time one of them asks me for something I'll just laugh, and walk off. Yeah that's the ticket. |
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