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 |   A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life. |
Started July 1st 2019 for contests, etc. as other blogs are filling up and have other purposes.  I'm starting a new blog because
I'll be linking to
I've started an appendix (I no longer have one personally) to keep track of my Space Cadet journals for Space Blog. It's a work constantly under construction. Mind the mess.
I needed to start a folder for contests as there are so many deadlines and details to remember.
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| I finished 6 or so contests in January. I wrote a bit here at WDC, mostly short pieces. I've been writing in my hand written journal again (30 pages December/January). I have nothing to write about. Suicide is sky-rocketing and I can understand why. I just want my life back; and yes, I'm making some progress. I'm keeping track of when I go out and I'm doing better. I'm not used to spending this much time at home, especially in winter. I love the snow but the cloudiness gets to me. *whine whine*. I may or may not get back to blogging here because there's no point to it. Cosmos for constancy... October 10th's flower. I do want to get back to blogging. But I'm 863 moons old and still have nothing new to say. February 6th... finally called my sister. Mixed news at best. My mother is still alive but barely. She's 99. No word on other members of my family. I feel very isolated. |
| It's time to take a break. Awhile back I cut back on spazebuik and that was restful. Now, It's time to cut back here. I'm writing in my hand-written journal again so it's not like I won't be monitoring my life. It's just that I won't be sharing here. Same with reading blogs. I want to... but my on-line presence here has been time consuming with not enough emotional support (I'm needy). My thoughts... I need to get out more and reconnect face-to-face. It looks like covid-omicron will become endemic like the flu. Very contagous but not so lethal. As the world comes to terms with that I suspect countries will open up. I will need to dream about traveling, do research, makes plans. Go! I have unfinished writing projects. I have unfinished business in my personal life. My on-line addiction has gotten in the way of living. It helped during the shutdown, but 2 years is far too long. I'm getting old in many ways and if movement = life, then I've been comatose. 2021 was the first year since 2006 that I didn't travel. This is only sustainable if I'm making funeral arrangements. This morning was very foggy, but now it's clearing. My life has been like that. Kåre Enga c/o The Blogs 22 Lost Lane, Blogville Will be 'return to sender' until further notice. 5574 |
"so baby, why don't you just meet me in the middle..."   Comment from "Bad Buddies" ep. 10. Wouldn't it be nice? I'm sure people have tried to reach out to me... I know I've tried to reach out to them. In my world it doesn't seem to work out. If I cut out everything and everybody that annoys me right now I'll be left with nothing and no one. It's 01:23 and time to take a shower and go to bed. I won't accomplish anything more tonight.    I scored a cheeseburger. The patty was quite flavorful...  .Saw Don, Dalton, Laxmi, Naketa. Went to LePetit and ate 3 scones. It was good to get out.    Watching "Bad Buddies" ep. 11. It ends next week. Very good series because of the acting and storyline. It's somewhat believable and avoids easy cliches. The BL genre is becoming layered with other genres as it 'matures'. It's adding depth as more money = better filming and stories. Thailand is more than just the capital, Krungthep, or the upper class. Sadly, "Bad Buddies" is well-to-do and university; but, it breaks other taboos, like GL and real-life parents.    I told Andra: My parents sheltered me. Of course, I was very withdrawn and 'hid' so that didn't help. I was frightened of anyone my age and avoided them. I was neither self-reliant nor independent. I was clueless when I went to university and suffered for my ignorance. But... I did start to bloom, until an early frost nipped me in the bud when I was 21. It's been needlessly rough all my life because I still withdraw and hide. Whether it's abuse or neglect it's the same thing, a lack of good parenting skills.  I told Harlow Flick: Yep. A walnut tree has nothing on you! Do squirrels try to stash you away? We had the 'gun' talk at the Senior Center today. I lived in an inner city 'bad' neighborhood and didn't have the fear they share. I suggested looking into people's eyes and knowing them by name. I will suggest self-defense classes next. Guns only work at a distance and not even then. I don't feel fear when I travel in non-gun countries like Japan or Taiwan. But they made a valid point. This is Montana. Yep, I get that. Montana is no safer than that 'bad bad' place I once called home. |
| Matzo lasagna: Mushrooms, ricotta, shallots, swiss cheese, ground pork (obviously not kosher!) layered between matzo with parmesan cheese on top, baked at 400 degrees. Turned out very good. I even took pictures because it looked good.  Why? I had sheets of matzo I wanted to use up. Same with the shallots I bought in October. Plus, I try not to waste. I think it came out to 2-4 portions. I ate some, then ate some more, then finished it off. I have very little room in my refrigerator cube so leftovers are a nice idea but not that practical. This is my life... I had a rough night (eye, jaw, neck/head, sneezing) but felt better after I got to speak with Billie Jo and Angie today. Since then? Basic nourishment and coffee. I need to look at this month's contests and enter them as best I can. My own challenge? Not going well, but my expectations may have been misaligned with the reality of readers and writers here at WDC. I hid some folks from my Newsfeed. Fortunately, they still come up on my favorites, but not on my Community feed? *Ack* I just wanted peace and quiet from raffles and what I consider site-wide silliness. Others do enjoy a party atmosphere but I don't. It's also dishearteniing when I see popular people garnering 20 badges because it's their birthday or a handful because it's their WDC anniversary. I can't compete by giving out merit badges for actual writing when breathing warrants more-than-one. CRs... a pox on this house, imo. I have work to do... but I'm avoiding it. Not a good sign. Apathy on a beautiful sunny day?  |
| My disappointment deepens but more important things get in the way. I need to state unequivocally what I stand for. I'm being misunderstood and mislabeled by many here at WDC, a social-media site where the white-anglo narrative drowns out other voices. There are reasons why the minorities and marginalized members send each other emails and private comments rather than stoke the embers by really stating what they think in blogs and/or on the Newsfeed. It's hard to know what others think if the aren't sharing their thoughts. Some presumptions about sex: That you're male or female based on your name. That your gender aligns with your biological body. That your sexual orientation can be discerned by how you write. That the above are discrete categories that can be labeled. That you're 'one of us' or 'one of them'. That what matters to you matters to others. (So much drama about plumbing) I struggle with this one because I'm a blogger and a traveler and people's eye glaze over when I speak as it's not a part of their world. Eating, watching reruns, cheering the local team ... is ... but, at least among old people sharing our ailments helps us connect with those who may have a solution. Basically folks make the presumptions that you are: either Christian or anti-Christian (because that's how many black/white Christians think); monolingual or English first language because we use mostly English on this website; that you're White or that you're identity is White or that White is somehow better; that people can't be more than one thing at the same time; that people can't get along and don't have friends/family who are different. I am guilty of specific presumptions but I grew up in a culture similar to the former president where everyone one was a nigger or a good nigger depending on whether you were friends or not. Same with kike, faggot, pinko, raghead, fatso, wetback... I did not grow up among refined people and didn't totally appreciate how good they were regardless of how crude they were. I was kept under lock-and-key. But I broke out. Many writers here have narrow experiences due to upbringing, poverty, fear of others, or just the society or culture they choose (mostly) choose to live with. Many neighborhoods, schools, churches are mono-cultural. How do I know this? I read blogs. Sooner than later beliefs and life experiences come to light as a blogger has to blog about something! Even writing this I'm aware I have nothing to write about because I'm doing nothing. I barely go out. It was covid, freezing cold, my swollen eye, the ice... always some excuse. What am I going to say that I haven't said before ad nauseum. My world is small when I sit at home. Yesterday, I sat with Nancy (who I don't know); she's my age and moving to a smaller 3 bedroom house (I live in two rooms)... she has tons of stuff to get rid of because her husband was a contractor but died in an accident at age 62. They had plans... now she doesn't. Her life is very different than mine. Maybe she'll share memories of Thailand from 40 years ago when she traveled with family... maybe not. I'll find some way to connect as I try to navigate the mindfield of politics and religion. To avoid unpleasantries (they are draining) we stick to safe topics. Among writers the 'safe' discussions revolve around commas. Should I bother to mention that Thai doesn't use them? That words are written together, that a space is used instead of a period, that they communicate quite well thank-you without having 20 words for snow? I wonder whether they think English speakers are disrespectful for not having a dozen pronouns indicating status and relationships. So, yeah, how can you know what my value system is when I don't clearly state it in your language in a way you'll understand? And how can you understand if you don't have any experience with where-I'm-coming-from? Many elders are lacking certain experiences and many young folks haven't had the chance; sadly, many IRL and at WDC will never seek those experiences. I for one will never go bungie-jumping... just like people here are frightened by strangers. I do need to write that blog or essay. Someday... not today. 5555 |
| Ah... to be orange amidst the blue, in search of moisture, a sip of salt, a spot of warmth among the dark; light upon the fluttering breeze, a mote to please the wandering eye that alights on me settled here, or as I float against the celestial sky. Ah, to be orange and not ignored. © Copyright 2022 Kåre Enga [178.300] (11.januar.2022) I sat with Bill, Phil and Nancy (who I don't know). Didn't eat there but a bologna sandwich and cottage cheese with pear sufficed later. My feet swelled yesterday so I'm going to have to consider salt as a culprit. I seldom add salt but it's in most everything. I'm a bit dissapointed with activity here on WDC so, once again, I need to reassess my reasons for being active here and how much effort is too much or too little.   I have made 13 trinkets. An assessment: 1. Easily collected. A total of 644. 120 Lanterns (Taiwan) 118 Monkees (Taiwan) 124 Umbrellas (Japan) 124 Man at Work (Slovkia) 158 Moon (Hungary) 2. Attached to a blog. A total of 174. 63 Porto (Portugal) 20 Out of the book (Sweden) 17 Blue butterfly and me (Costa Rica) 16 Bees on a rose (Norway) 17 Volcano (Costa Rica) 17 Boat houses on the fjord (Norway) 24 Cat (Taiwan) 3. To be given out. 42 Vultures clean up messes (Costa Rica) A grand total of 860. Folks want trinkets but don't want to go looking. I've put group 1 on the Newsfeed. Group 2 is mostly hidden but available on my blogs. 3? I give out vultures when I review (very seldom). I should make trinkets for every country I've visited. Perhaps someday. Copied from my friend Azir on fb: "Honorable Sultan! When confusion and corruption spreads in the country, when everyone who sees and hears this cruelty and corruption says: "What do I need" focusing on their own troubles, when the shepherds tear the nest and those who see this silence, when you rise up in the sky scream, the complaint and weeping of the poor and the needy whom no one hears except the stone trees, then the state is at the edge of the pile. In such cases, the state treasures are emptied, the people lose faith and respect for the state and the sense of obedience to the state authority is minimized. In this case, collapse and destruction is the only option for such a state." |
| Well Georgia wins 38-18 over Alabama and now has bragging rights. If only they would stand on the side of universal enfranchisement of voting rights. President Biden will speak in Georgia today. An interesting juxtaposition of sports and politics. MLK Day is the 17th... and that too makes it significant. Regardless of what Pres. Biden says about voting rights it will be attacked for going too far or not far enough. The US populace is so divided on simple human rights issues. |
| I got out and spoke to friends today. I really appreciated my chat with Laxmi. She's a fellow budget traveler; so, she understands my age/travel dilemma. She suggested that I sign up for a tour and spend a bit of money since I have far too much saved up (due to no travel for two years). She's in the same situation. So... Laos/Cambodia? Or after speaking with Zehra... Pakistan? Laxmi has signed up for a repositioning cruise out of Rome to the Caribean come autumn. I must consider that too. I also scored a choclate cupcake with peanuty frosting. Lucky me! I must attend to the blog challenge later but until then I have an epsode of Thai TV to watch. Maybe my new prompt #1 will "cotton candy — land or sea, beach or mountains, prairie or city, hot or cold or ___. Where would be best for growing up, making a living, growing old?" ... Andy Smith: When you're lost out there and all alone, a light is waiting to carry you home. ... But then there's the QotD: *Bulletv* a box of blank notebooks *Bulletv* a strong opinion about the Oxford Comma *Bulletv* a horror story about losing an unsaved draft *Bulletv* at least 3 fun coffee mugs Which of these do you have and what can you add to the list? I answered: I don't care a hoot  about the oxford whatever; in fact... I don't care about oxford!Language serves those who use it. Commas, are, the, least, of, my, worries, Notebooks, papers, a collection of spent pens. And coffee. Coffee matters. |
| ... the ice and old age. One must be aware and wary. I made it across the bridge without problems. I got to the postoffice before closing. I'm sitting here with a strawberry cardamom milkshake reading mail. My SS check has gone up. Since everything else seems to be going up it's welcome. My bank balance though is an issue. Because I haven't traveled for 2 years I have more saved than I should. Middle age = saving. Old age = spending down. Received card from Shadow Prowler-Spreading Love and runningwolf04 (& Shelly). I wondered why she spelled my sister's name wrong... oh... Shelly is her cat.  No word from family so I'm going to have to make a call or two to find out who has died. I'm bracing myself for that possible reality. My neighbor Birgit has recovered from covid. That's good. Travis isn't coming back till May. That's not good (for me). Jean is traveling in Mexico. Yang is at Texas A&M. I need to check into facepuuk as well to check on people. Both Yang and Jean are Taiwanese. I do keep track on what's going on there. And... Pakistan, India, Australia, New Zealand, Zimbabwe, Israel, Turkey, Kosovo, Italia, France, Portugal, Norway, Sweden, Wales, England... I am blessed to know so many people around the world. Wish I had friends in Thailand I could visit. I'll be careful going back over the bridge. I promise. This week = sunshine and mild temps in the 40s. Or so they predict.  I always check the weather before going out and then look out the landing window to confirm. The flagstaff on the depot and the view across the river to the North Hills and mountains tells me what I need to know.Open till tomorrow midnight: "Round 5 Blogvillian Pop Up! January 9-10 POST HERE"  |
| I believe in vomit... then cleaning up the mess. There's a certain 'flow' when I'm not being anal. TMI, but truly, not all blog entries are essays for 9th grade class, spell-checked, grammar-checked, rating-checked, did-i-offend-anyone-checked. I realize that sometimes my opinions offend people; but, most entries are on-the-fly and mundane... boring even... But, at times there are real gems hidden in the vomited verbage. That was my response to Cub-bee in her blog "The Impatient Blogger" .I stole the title of her blog for this entry.  To carry-on... there are all types of books/blogs and some are personal and don't need explanations nor apologies. I always have plenty to say but that can wait for another day as I need to work on my pop-up blog challenge so I don't post it late again. "Round 4 Blogvillian Pop Up! January 7-8 POST HERE" is due midnight-ish tonight, but that's not a firm deadline. I won't award a merit badge till late tomorrow. Weather. It was sunny today and milder. Melt and freeze translates into black ice around here. I was very careful. But I needed coffee! So off I went. Even remembered to pick up mayo. My neighbor Birgit is over covid so we chatted. Omicron? Probably. At this point pretty much everyone is going to catch it but so far it appears milder and less lethal overall. As Birgit and I agreed: it makes no sense for a virus that wants to stick around to just kill off its host. Better to let it suffer.  |
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