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 |   A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life. |
Started July 1st 2019 for contests, etc. as other blogs are filling up and have other purposes.  I'm starting a new blog because
I'll be linking to
I've started an appendix (I no longer have one personally) to keep track of my Space Cadet journals for Space Blog. It's a work constantly under construction. Mind the mess.
I needed to start a folder for contests as there are so many deadlines and details to remember.
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| 5.กุมภาพันธ์.2566 To Mighty: "I budgeted 20,000 baht for me and Ponnya for January. We both ran out. 24,000 for February... we'll see. I gave him 6,000 on the 1st... because he seems to not budget well. Me? I'm not keeping track like I should, but $1 for a hand of 16 bananas yestereve. I'll eat my lunch from 7-11 soon (it's noon here). Rice and pork for $1. This makes it sound like everything's cheap. It's not. Hot pot costs about $25 for 2. That may not sound like much but almost 800 baht on one meal busts my budget. We can eat fish with greens for 250. Cooking at home is a dilemma at the moment. We need a rice cooker. We only have a microwave at the moment. I want an electric fry pan... haven't seen any here yet. Ponnya works. I write and have classes in Thai. It's doable. My money comes from social security (which means it's predictable and I can count on it). Each family is different. Yes, convenience is nice (night markets are very close in all directions and 7-11 is at the corner... and everywhere!). Street food is cheap and good, but mostly I like getting out and seeing people and interacting with them. BUT, we'd eat better by cooking our own food, especially greens). Oh, how I remember those Days of Peas and Pasta! (1990... I was saving to buy a house)" On a dreary damp day... where do my dreams go... I'm in rural Thailand years from now, old, but more spry than I am today. I'm going to town on my sam-lor (tricycle) picking up an old lady (probably younger than me) and a young girl on my way. Going back someone young asks me a question and I see myself answering (like on a video) with tears in my eyes. I think of other places, spaces, the rat races I no longer know nothing about. Only me, no longer lonely in New York, alone in an alien world that somehow has become a part of me. Nostalgia finds me even here and wraps its once-warm arms around me. I look into that empty chasm of myself, once full of life, then look away. The green trees, the steamy heat, the shadows shortening in the morning grace between showers, remind me that I fled from abandoned dreams. These moments, fleeting as they may be, are my reality. Even seen through tears, it is enough. Edited in "Dream on a damp dreary day "  Didn't accomplish much but visited Gay, bought food (an almost daily occurrence), looked at electric fry pans and rice cookers. Damp day but clothes dried a little. I wrote "Die Lorelei 🇩🇪 [ASR]" and "Trump. The Insurrection. The Pope. Sexxx. Share#2 P15 [GC]" 4.กุมภาพันธ์.2566 Quite cloudy; AirQuality not as bad as yesterday. I can see the mountains. I've had a quiet day. I cleaned up most of the mess I made yesterday. I should eat (something other that a donut), shower, and take a walk. I have caught up on some WDC contests. Others await. Ponnya is safely at work in Khon Kaen. I ate papaya, banana, and leftover soup with rice. I made my coffee with boiled tap water. If I don't get sick then that will cut back the need for bottled water unless I want it ice cold. To Stik: "I looked at the cars... before my time! But then... I'm a 50s child and most cars only lasted 5 years back then so these were already in the junk yard. Texaco? I remember Esso and Mobil. Can we? Should we? I wonder whether anyone was thinking about avian flu... there obviously were chicken diseases around. But... the mechanization and marketing of the chicken industry brought cheap chicken into the new suburbs of America. In retrospect, was it worth it? We have chickens in this neighborhood smack in the center of Udon Thani. Eggs are also cheap and chicken plentiful; although, the grilled chicken one can buy on the trains around Khon Kaen resemble the scrawny chickens of a by-gone era. And what's with the white meat! I prefer dark meat myself. Many Americans seem to be obsessed with white meat, just like some Thais are obsessed with light skin. Is it marketing or a cultural, and maybe subliminal, message that light/white = pure and better (like Ivory soap)?" To Jeff: "In watching Thai TV series I do notice whether there's a lesson to be learned. Acting, camera-work, setting, story... all important; but, watching 'reaction' videos reminds me how so much is 'not seen' or just ignored by foreigners and so much taken for granted by natives. Sometimes the comments provide context." 3.กุมภาพันธ์.2566 Hard to get Ponnya up this morning. He packed in a rush and I believe he forgot some things; but, there's nothing I can do and little I can say. The last two days have wrung me out. I even spilled lots of water on the floor and tried to sop it up with towels. Didn't work too well. Then I couldn't find my key card which is essential for getting in and out of the condo. I was 20 minutes late for my language session. I also wasn't properly prepared. But Ponnya is gone for one week. That means I can focus on studying and writing. I'll be bored and missing him of course. Tonight I can drown my sorrows in salmon lasagna, papaya or donuts. One donut down...  2.กุมภาพันธ์.2566 ![Merit Badge in Groundhog Day
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Here is a personal Groundhog Merit Badge, to make up for the local lack thereof. Happy Groundhog Day, hope you have a simply Splendiferous day.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Groundhog_Day-2288571.gif) Groundhog Day 14:46 ... very noisy, even with the windows shut. Construction? Destruction? I put labels on the window/door/refrigerator to help me learn Thai. I constantly read labels so I hope this works. Buddha smiles at Mrs. Weasley on Imbolc Why do you fly with Jesus; he left his license with God, who then issued another to His Prophet Muhammad. While folks still fly with Jesus; they fly with Muhammad too, God just shrugs at humans — then sends more powder down the flue. © Copyright 2023 Kåre Enga [179.127] (18.januar.2023) 7777 7777 xaxa xbxb Written today: "Ue o Muite Arukō l🇯🇵l [13+]" ![Merit Badge in Be Romantic
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You touch the mark of 15 entries successfully in the [Link To Item #2287902] . You deserve the Merit Badge. Enjoy the moment.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Be_Romantic-2283517_1.gif) Be Romantic 1.กุมภาพันธ์.2566 To Linda Evans: "Fear is a tool of the ignorant and lazy to not have to learn anything. That fear is then manipulated by others to control them for whatever nefarious means pleases the controllers. Think money. Think power. Think... the pure pleasure to watch others suffer." Ponnya's schedule just got more complicated. I want to go 'home' with him but my class and visa renewal may conflict with that. I am trying to explain to him how overwhelmed I am. He won't speak, eat, only drink. I want to know what's wrong. I want him to call his mother. ![Merit Badge in Computers
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Hello [Link To User enga]
Great job writing one complete story from seven prompts delivered every other day for two weeks. Your at times robotic characters were intriguing and their story full of action, visuals, and neighborliness.
Annette](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/genre-Computers-225.gif) I was hoping to be one of the top 3, but I wasn't. Written for Soundtracks: "Time after Time 🇺🇸 [13+] " 31.มกราคม.2566 Quite upset last night. I tried to explain to Ponnya that I don't like surprises. Today: must learn Thai. I'm not quite sure what to expect but since it's private lessons I'm sure we can come up with an I.E.P. I want to reach A2 level. Not sure that that's possible in one month. I'm already doing some things right. 1. Coming to Thailand. I met with Miew. We had a blast. I have some things I need to study by next time... this Friday. We'll tackle whatever... Mentoring should be easier for me than a traditional classroom. Ponnya's schedule: leave noon on the 3rd to Khon Kaen; return noon on the 10th. Could I take a day trip while he's gone?
30.มกราคม.2566 Well Udon didn't properly guard the 10 baht coins and we now have clean clothes hung in the balcony drying. I guess my news could be wurst. It's 08:36 and Ponnya is sleeping. I will wake him up at 9. He's not well. Oh... he stirs... False alarm. ![Merit Badge in The Blogging Banana Bar
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Your blogging is always welcome at [Link To Item #1985857] .](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-The_Blogging_Banana_Bar-2246010_9.gif) With Ponnya safely at work I'm watching clothes dry. It's a calming activity. Moving dry items and repositioning damp ones. Dry shirts are already in the closet. Soon it will be time to fold. It's a pleasant 77 degrees at 13:13. Last night was a cool 50. tonight will be cool as well. The heat returns this coming weekend. To fathertymme: "In Montana everything is included. No shoveling. No repairing. Here I'm not sure; but, living in a condo has its own freedoms and responsibilities. No snow in Udon Thani but it can dip below 50. 90 is in the forecast for the weekend. It's a pleasant afternoon with a gentle breeze. I'm watching the wash dry. I'm trying to trust. I've been alone too many years. Sharing this place is an opportunity to learn. And it's easier for me to be "me" here. Thailand is much more tolerant than North America. 10 is oft times a golden age. Engagement with the world without an attitude." The prompt was 'optimistic'. "Either way [179.141] 40w Jan #20" |
| มกราคม.2566//January/januar/enero/janvier.2023 29.มกราคม.2566 To Joy: "So much depends on details and perspective. One egg costs 4.5 - 6 baht in Udon Thani (Thailand). I can get 10 for 45 baht. They are sold in 4, 6, 10, 30 but 12 = 54 baht for $1.65 USD. That may sound cheap but Thais don't have American incomes either. Eggs are an essential here, as is rice. Pork, fish, seafood and chicken are cheap and found everywhere. Milk and bread are not essentials. Most people drive mopeds. We buy in small quantities as fresh produce is a short walk, the 7-11 is on the corner, and a daily night market is on the other side of the pedestrian bridge. I make friends easily and mourn when I lose them, but I don't consider most people I meet now as fake. However, I grew up in a Mafia town and treachery was the norm. I am nostalgic about the few things I have, having lost most everything twenty years ago." https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/christian-nationalisms-popularity-should-be... https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/im-a-feminist-and-i-dont-thin... 09:02 Ponnya getting up. Like the article above. He works. I try to help his mornings be a quest to get up and get out. He works at 11, today at 10. He doesn't get paid well but it's important for his well-being. Me? I write, take photos, learn about language and culture and how to share a place with someone after so many years alone. Is that not-work just because I don't get paid? We both contribute to life. And in this place we contribute in different ways. Ponnya came home sick. He slept while I went to sign up for classes in Thai at Let's Talk. It's close to where we live. Not cheap, private classes aren't. Chatted with Sueay, Wao, Nest (Nessy). I start Tuesday. The wash is done and hung. Wrote "Petals of our ancestors [179.140] 40w Jan#19" 28.มกราคม.2566 I have no idea whether this "Ngalis (งาลิส = sesame) [179.139] 40w Jan#18" is a story or a poem. It shares characteristics of both. 40 words, 54 syllables, 9 lines. Ngalis is an anagram of signal and in Thai means "Sesame". Considering Thai names it could easily be one.Kismet: I just ate purple sticky rice (coconut?) with sprinkles of white sesame seed. To TJ: "Yep. I'm seldom happy with either/or. To mangle a phrase: humans do something because they 'can' without asking whether they 'should'. Frankly, I'm not sure we as a species are mature enough yet. I'm hopeful that we will mature as there are many humans who have reached that level of enlightenment and compassion. I'm a work-in-progress." I'm not always happy at the end of the month because I procrastinate. Not a good way to live I assure you. In the end, some things get done, some things don't. Plan for today: decide about learning Thai. Ponnya applauds the idea. Hope to visit Gay. She'll be indisposed for February. To Steven re AI writing: "Easy-peasy solutions: 1. Oral exams. (yes... that's labor intensive... so hire people or reduce class size) 2. Written by hand in class. (yes... that may take much longer to write... so add time) 3. Be willing to ignore grammar and spelling and focus on ideas, structure, content. De-emphasize the need for academic degrees for fields that don't need it. I have a friend who is a Master Weaver. She doesn't need a Piled-high and Deeper degree to prove it." To wolfgang: "IMO... It is good to ask questions and look at things in depth and from another point of view. It's why diversity is important in any academic (and non-academic) field. To critically think is more than asking and analyzing 'why' or 'what if'; it also entails looking around at at-the-moment reality. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. A point that some conspiracy theorists won't accept. But rational thought also has limitations. The Socrates group at our library in Montana was caught in a tautology. Sure... their reasoning was strong; but, stuck in their box (libertarian/anarchistic/AynRand) they were asking the wrong questions and couldn't see that there were other paradigms available to organize society. They left out the practical and emotional. They were also all white-male. A guarantee to come up with wrong answers. As for common sense... that's not all too common." We have eggs, sticky rice, orange soap, mouthwash... I visited Gay but didn't do much walking. 27.มกราคม.2566 The red rose is holding on... barely. The pink rose opens up. No food in the house. Will need to correct that. Bought greens, chicken, sweets. Ponnya inhaled them. Good for editing: https://www.rabbitwitharedpen.com/blog/writing-dialogue-tags-action-beats-punctu... Pisses me off: https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/tripideas/14-cities-abroad-that-are-perfect-for... Heaven? Only those who believe will enter. Then I wish you well. You're not coming with me? Tickets cost too much. But you only have to— Be someone I'm not. But... I wish you well. And then I walked away. Edited and posted. "And then I walked away [179.138] 40w Jan#17 " Spoke to Pear at Koala. Ate a mushroom cheeseburger (beef) with bacon and a side of onion rings. 189 baht. It was absolutely decadent.  However, need to be careful with money. I can't expect Ponnya to be careful if I'm setting a poor example. Ponnya inhales food if it's sitting in front of him. He was underweight when I met him so there may be other issues I'm not yet aware of. 26.มกราคม.2566 Up around 9. Ponnya hugs me in the morning like a puppy.  He's jogging now... means I can write! Almost 10. I try to do as much on-line when he's at work. Allows me to spend more quality time with him. But writing, getting out to know the neighborhood, greeting people and taking photographs is a very good thing. "WE BETTER TALK THIS OVER" by Bob Dylan: But I don't think it's liable to happen Like the sound of one hand clappin'. My arms be flappin' My thoughts zappin' You ask "What's happenin'?" My lips be chappin' Cold winds slappin' Winter's what's saddenin'. Come join me nappin' our eight arms wrappin' in a warm embrace, no longer mad. "Yappin' in the Octopi's Garden" edited to "Yappin' in the Octopus's Garden [179.135] 40w Jan#13 " capping, chapping, crapping, dapping, fapping, flapping, frapping, gapping, happing, knapping, lapping, mapping, napping, rapping, sapping, scrapping, slapping, snapping, strapping, strap hung, tapping, trapping, whapping, wrapping, yapping, zapping Chunli Zhao, 66, killed 7 in Half Moon Bay yesterday. Will this be labeled as a case of AOA (Angry Old Asians) and would that be fair? Pertinent question in Amerikkka as anyone not a member of perceived majorities tend to be pejoratively labeled as paranoia sets in. A perplexing posy of p's. If I were Anti-Asian I wouldn't be in Thailand and I wouldn't have traveled extensively in Japan and Taiwan. I also wouldn't have lived with Azeri and Persians from Iran or had friends from Hong Kong, India and elsewhere. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/opinion-the-right-wing-approach-to-parents-rig... Lower the age to 15 ... by then most children are no longer children. They may be immature, but so are some adults. DJT comes to mind. To Waltz re Monopoly: "I grew to despise the game and eventually refused to play. I've never heard of "Properity" nor Lizzie Magie. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lizzie_Magie https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Landlord%27s_Game It is interesting to note how often female inventors/scientists/leaders are often forgotten with their contributions attributed to others. The same could be said for non-Europeans." To TJ: "It's 13 minute walk from Ponnya's workplace to home. I timed it tonight. No need for a car. There are 14 floors which include parking, a pool, a fitness center... no 20 acre suburban sprawl. Thailand is more compact even in rural areas. People live in communities and aren't as isolated from others. In Montana they could build with better heating/cooling in mind, and not build throwaway structures that fall apart in 30 years. We have good water, so that's not an issue. We have a good bus system (free) that old folks don't like to use. Education may be the key. In Kansas they can use solar; in the Great Lakes, wind. In Costa Rica they already use hydro-thermal and I grew up with hydro-electric... but people need to learn how to use less. Are 200 watt lights really necessary? Is a personal truck needed to haul a load from Cosco to their 3 basement freezers? Is 75 degrees F necessary in winter and 65 in summer? Can people share? Old farmers sure did. Many places in the world they still do." 25.มกราคม.2566 Ponnya slept in and then jogged. He made eggs for us before he left though. I shooed him out the door as he started work at 11. From MSN News... Author Amy Bloom’s husband had Alzheimer’s disease and he did not want to deteriorate until it killed him. She researched assisted suicide for months – how to do it (Do-it-yourself suffocation? Pentobarbital?) and where to do it (Dignitas in Zurich was the only real option). In her book “In Love: A Memoir of Love and Loss,” she describes supervising his application process, watching him drink the fatal potion and holding his hand as he embarked on his “long journey, miles and miles of Nought.” "Miles and Miles of Naught" ... Need to write that story/poem. To Sue: "Yes, unless there is a breakthrough in technology (like mini-nuclear-plants for the household or neighborhood) I think that nuclear power is passe. One issue with electricity is usage. How to use less. Same with water. Engineering, architecture, prioritizing, being satisfied with what one has, just-saying-no, could go a long way in cutting demand. A major enemy of this idea? Greed. Another? Entitlement." Another response to Sue: "As a child I learned a lot. One teacher taught me that homosexuals were disgusting. The school system taught me that lower class factory workers amounted to nothing. The government taught me that other nationalities were to be killed. The Lutheran church on the corner taught me to hate Catholics... as did my mother. My father just simply left parts of my education blank. Yep. I learned a lot as a child." I learned how to become invisible. I've spent a lifetime un-learning that. Hmm... not sure that I agree. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opinion/the-viscous-cycle-of-killer-news-american... 24.มกราคม.2566 A veces el mayor acto de amor hacia una persona, consiste en desaparecer de su vida. - Gabriel García Márquez. Ponnya got back around 05:30. I barely slept last night so now I'm drowsy. It's 08:54. He's sleeping. Coffee or back to bed? Dear Me... don't kick the bucket down the road... just saying. Bucket lists. Old people like me are supposed to have bucket lists: 1. a bucket that doesn't leak to mop the floor. 2. Sea #1. 3. Sea #1. 4. Sea #1. 5. Sea #1. I prefer land to see and see-shore. At this stage of Life, possibly my last, I want to complete my METAMORPHOSIS rather than just make checklists of things I didn't do, places I didn't visit, regrets I don't want to wallow in, and a Past I cannot change. Plus, no need to make long range plans. Short range works well with my deafness and near-sightedness. 2566 a.k.a. 2023 a.k.a. 179-180 B.E. I do want to enjoy living here in Thailand. Language, culture, a new experience. This is my 4th country. Costa Rica was #2 (1974 & 2012), Canada #3 (1981). This is not a tourist vacation, a relaxing vacation (that was England 2011) nor a series of travel experiences (2009-2022) that included over 40 countries. I do want to write, but not at a hectic pace. My best writing years are past; but, I'm not Dead yet. So... I hope to thrill, inspire or just plain annoy friends and strangers (as always, the stranger the better). I do want to reconsider my health and guard my wealth. New teeth are an option (about $2,000) while walking, being more active, eating less sugar and salt (the two main "spices" of the US of America). It's cheaper here and for $20,000 in the bank I can get a renewable year-long visa. I do want to make new connections and maintain old ones (through facebook and postcards). Older people die off. In a college town like Missoula younger people move away. I've been feeling very isolated for 3 years now. Middle-aged folks are now young! A Thai does not exist in the singular. I have a roommate/friend/boyfriend. Regardless of label, he hugs me, cuddles, feeds me. Now... will he be willing to change my diapers!  Until then, it's nice to share a place. I don't feel lonely. ภาษาไทยไม่มีอยู่ในเอกพจน์ ฉันมีเพื่อนร่วมห้อง/เพื่อน/แฟน ไม่ว่าป้ายชื่อไหน เขากอดฉัน กอดฉัน ป้อนข้าวฉัน ตอนนี้... เขาจะยอมเปลี่ยนผ้าอ้อมให้ฉันไหม! จนกว่าจะถึงเวลานั้น มันเป็นเรื่องดีที่จะแบ่งปันสถานที่ ฉันไม่รู้สึกเหงา to be continued... To Waltz: "I want to see the video of Oscar Wilde taking the comma out and putting it back in. Then there are those who type 2,000 words/hour... non-stop (how else does a novelette of 1,500 pages get written?).That said... social surveillance came to mind. A member of Congress wants to prevent shootings not by taking guns away (2nd Amendment!) but by increased surveillance of social media (the Chinese Solution; to hell with the other Amendments and Bill of Rights). There's a blog about privacy lurking somewhere... but you prolly already wrote it!" We went out for dinner. I thought barbecue... we ended up at a place that has seafood hot pot. I was not happy. Hot pot is expensive. 743 baht + 200 baht to get there = my entire week's budget for food. I tried to explain. He knew I was unhappy. Went to market near Lumpini. Green onions, cilantro, holy basil... all costs 5-10 baht. I'm sure there's more expensive items but this market is for poor people who live close-by. It's nightly. They also had different types of fish, eel, frog, meat. I'm not sure about some of the meat. The fish etc. are fresh (as in alive). The wish: To be loved. But you must love to be loved. How so? It's little things. Kindness, caring ... Sex? Do you love your parents? Do you have sex with your friends? I want to be a fish instead of a frog. Is that your wish? Yes, as a fish I'd get to see the world. A frog just hops in and out of a pond. Granted. *** Why am I in a glass cage and why is that frog being shipped to another country. Only his legs are being shipped. *** I want to be close to my friend's heart. What's your favorite color? Red. Granted. Why am I a red shirt? Every Sunday your friend will wear you. Did you grant his wish? Underwear isn't my specialty. [132] 23.มกราคม.2566 Comment to Stik: "I remember reading a book as a teenager that was interrupted by a severe illness (possibly food poisoning) that I blamed on breaded pork chops. I never finished that book and avoided pork chops for years. So, yes, I get your reaction on a personal level. I have not been reading books either. When I travel they're cumbersome. I love the feel of paper so e-books don't appeal to me. That said, I'm constantly reading. Especially signs here in Thailand. I figure every opportunity to practice counts. Next purchase? A book for children (maybe middle-grade) in Thai. Pictures would help at this beginning stage! As for TV... I just turned it on... then turned it off. I do watch Thai TV series on YouTube and actually get a lot from most of them. Gestures and interjections are really really really important , street language helps, and there are cultural lessons to be learned and reinforced (seemingly silly things like how to eat with a spoon and fork... never a knife)."Nice seeing Ponnya's face last night. But I was surprised to see his mother. Hopefully home tomorrow. It will be hot today. So... I'll clean and write and read at home. I will go out just to get out. I wear a paper hat during the sun-scorch of the day (10ish to 2ish). I ate last night's donuts. I've had coffee, will drink another. I'll eat rice and egg. To Allison on fb: "It's interesting living in another country, instead of traveling or vacationing. Whether this becomes more permanent... depends. Nice time of year. Today will be hot but in general it cools off at night. This is a fairly vibrant city... but in a way quite different from Missoula. Hopefully I'll learn whatever it is I need to learn." MSN: Do scientists usually act in the public's best interest? Yes? No? Not sure? Poor question. Scientists do research, discuss that with others and try to determine alternate explanations. They don't make public policy and that's what this question infers. wag wag wag my tail wag wag wag my nose wag wag wag my ___ you're coming home! kiss kiss kiss your lips kiss kiss kiss your cheek kiss kiss kiss your ___ you'll soon be home! [131] I just got word from my boyfriend that he's coming home in the morning. I'll be at home waiting.  Ponnya should be home around 2-3 a.m. I bought two meals for him in case he's hungry. Will I sleep? I need to. Hope he can in the mini-van. To Elle: "I can do meat free in Montana as I love rice and beans and pasta. However, we don't have a stove or oven here. It's kettle to boil water or the micro to nuke. Street food is cheap. I can buy a portion of fish or chicken for 12 baht. About 0.57 in NZD. 4-6 portions can fill up both of us. Rice is cheap. I need to visit the market with Ponnya to figure out vegetables, fruits and greens. 7-11 has ready to heat meals. I ate Korean style pork with vegetable rice this evening. 45 baht = 2.12 NZD. Yes, I could eat cheaper but that's not necessary here. Eggs and butter are expensive in Montana. There are issues with avian flu in the US and dairy used to be subsidized. Bread is okay; cheap bread is still cheap. Food in general has gone up 50%. My rent has stayed the same. But... Thailand = more for less. I will set a monthly budget here but I'll adjust it as it needs to be a tad higher than originally expected." |
| Most writers presently here seem to believe in masturbating in public. And then complain if someone comments? Get a life or close your curtains. I comment on 100+ blog entries every month. I rarely get a reciprocal comment on my own blog. I have the stats to prove it! I feel shunned at times. It takes effort to blog or journal daily. It would be nice to be acknowledged. But... no. Former WDC writers on facebook give me more support than present writers here. The Newsfeed helps. But, the lack of community is devastating. Is commenting on blog entries a good idea? There are times when an entry leaves me speechless. But I comment on most every entry I read, if only to give the author the heads up that they are being seen. Do you comment or "Like" on most blog entries you read. I get 50+ likes on some of my posted facebook pictures. I appreciate that, but when someone has put in the effort to write or poured their heart out I comment. "Likes" do not build community in the same way. Should there be a "Don't Like" option? NO! There's enough hatred and shit flinging in social media as it is. I've used the angry  emoticon at times but I question whether I should, especially on the Newsfeed. If I'm really upset I can always leave a private comment. ~208 words 6607 |
G*D The Original They/Them ~ Kåre Enga If you need to look into the diapers to determine gender at least change them. 22.มกราคม.2566 Today's dinner of champions was fried fish and donuts. Took pictures around Nong Bua. Caught the sunset. The New Year's lights were already down.  Saw fireworks out the hallway window when I got home. Unexpected, good timing. Sent various pictures to Ponnya.  Wrote postcard #2 to Michael. I really should write one every day. It's good exercise, exorcise and whether folks want one or not, some will be well received. Writing letters is a lost skill. 21.มกราคม.2566 Still sad, but it's not the deep chasms of yesteryears. I do need to be careful though. To Mighty: "Regarding cashmere... why choose? Buy them all! Motivation. I have a reason to get up even though my reason isn't here at the moment. *Sad* Still, I've been getting up earlier and that helps. I lost weight this past year and will continue that trend for the next 2+ months in Thailand. Sun helps. And getting out and walking helps. I eat less." To fathertymme: "The eyes need to be taken care of. In my case it's my hearing but cataracts are common in my family; so, I must be vigilant. Being present and aware is important here in Thailand as crossing any and every street is risky. It's Year of the Rabbit tomorrow the 22nd. Celebrated in Udon Thani where I am for the next while. The nights are cool and the days are warm; but, the horizon is a haze from rice and sugarcane fields being burnt off. By March 21st it will be hot and the land thirsty. Each stage of the year has its own peculiarity as does each stage of life." I got out. Found where the food stalls will be open (tomorrow). Tried black truffle potato chips and seaweed sunflower seeds. Liked both. Bought coffee candy by mistake... I'll deal with it.  Walked to Nong Prajak, walked around, then went home. Lots of walking. Tired. 20.มกราคม.2566 It's now a blue day (Friday). Orange was so yesterday! I reread yesterday's post. The drums are beating again this morning. The New Year of the Rabbit is Sunday (a double red day). The cool breeze would be slapping those slats if the curtain weren't open. Just put the kettle on for coffee #2. I'm so "redundant". Ponnya comes home tomorrow so I need to tidy up a bit. Not much, but without him here I don't care as much. Just sharing this place may help with depression. The hugs don't hurt either. It's 08:42 and the local Air Force jets are flying. Quite the racket. At the edge of night in the whispers of light carried upon a fading breeze the calmness questions why I lay here at ease there's plenty enough time once planted in the grave this echo of a former life that would not listen to the whispers of light at the edge of night. [129] To Charity: "Travel makes me grateful for being home. Staying home gives me the urge to travel. I may be entering a new stage of life (one toe already in the warm water). At the moment it includes a bathroom, a balcony, a boyfriend... lots of B's. There's plenty of street food and restaurants within walking distance. I'm slowly coming to understand what I didn't miss (because I didn't have it). So I'm surrounded by Thailand. Not the tourist brochure, the everyday living... the smiles, my frustration, the acceptance and tolerance, the mosquitoes. I'm not dead yet, so I have lessons to learn." https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/wellness/couple-stands-their-ground-after-pride... 21:30 Very sad. I guess I can slog through the next 5 days. No one to talk to or share why I'm unhappy. Very very lonely at the moment. 19. มกราคม 09:08... the pounding drums from the Chinese Cultural Center have quieted. The jets aren't flying overhead and the train has passed. It's fairly quiet except for the breeze moving the blue slatted curtain by the sliding door. I should go out in the cool of the morning but it's also a good time to write. Thailand is 12 hours ahead of WDC time. Makes it easy to know what time it is; but, I'm easily confused as to the date. It's always time for coffee; so, maybe I'll put the kettle on and make decisions later. To wordsmitty: "WDC practices avoidance... how do I know? I'm avoidant. I really don't like confrontation, partly because I don't handle it well. BUT, I've been screaming the last 20 years after being bashed for most of my life. Big-bashing is obvious. Small-bashing like shunning... not so obvious. I'm definitely 'toxic' to some when I question their values and I have to own up to that. I'm not here to just get more friends and more likes and my writing and photographs aren't monetized. So I engage to feel connected. Many people here at WDC do not want to dirty themselves by connecting. Mid-Americans (a major part of WDC) do not want to be challenged mentally. Their level of apathy reduces the world to a shade of beige. And those offended and outraged about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g are the flip-side and also a threat. Perspective? Context? There's another point-of-view? I-might-be-wrong? What's that all about? Cannot have a discussion about anything serious at WDC and it's dangerous on Spacefook as well." Went out. Confirmed that there's a fruit/vegetable/fresh-fish/raw-meat market near here, this side of Posri across the tracks. Must take Ponnya (he'll be back the 21st) so we can buy some. I don't know what things are called and not sure what some things are! Bought 4 more dishes/bowls. At 20 baht each. Must take camera to Chinese festival tonight. 19:46 the southbound train to Krungthep has passed. I bought pork lasagna (70 baht) before going to the festival. Good idea. Very good... it was 2 portions. I took a lot of photos. One woman dropped her bag into the water. It floated; but, I don't know how she retrieved it. 20:44 I'm worn out tired. Far too early to turn in.  18. มกราคม It's an orange day in Udon on a green day of the week. City celebration around the Prajak monument. Hundreds of dancers wearing orange tops and mut mee bottoms and showing respect. Awesome. To Charity: "Even so, hubby swears it was the happiest two weeks he's ever had in a truck. Which just goes to show how f***ing miserable and lonely it is. I know you know that that says a lot... as in A LOT. I was gone for one month and my puppy boyfriend was suffering separation anxiety. No he's gone for 5 days and I'm missing him. When I first stepped foot in Kansas I felt at home. When I went to Costa Rica I immediately wanted to leave. Montana has been 'home' now for 14 years... but it never was Kansas; and now, I walk around Udon Thani, a city surrounded by rice fields and sugarcane, and wonder whether I'm meant to be there at this time in my life. So yes, love this entry, vomit and all. To Jayne: "I'm okay as long as I write something down somewhere as the thought crosses my mind. I used to be better at that. I comment a lot here on blogs. That actually helps because it primes my writing pump." Also to Jayne: "I knew nothing about Oscar (father's side) until my cousin mentioned he died falling off a parade float and good riddance... Supposedly he was prostituting his wife and daughter. Mostly folks got along though and still do. I still know nothing about Sylvester (mother's side) other than he was good looking. My mother's family keeps an unfriendly distance. Not sure toxicity has anything to do with it. Apparently I'm toxic to many people in general and that's hard for me to deal with. Shunning hurts." I need to reassess my needs. 17. มกราคม Been up 3+ hours. Time to shower and go for a walk. It's a pink day. Took chocolates to Gay. We're connected now on facebook which means I can work around her schedule. Met Jean from B.C. and spoke to a young gay couple from Udon/Surin. Fish for dinner. Fried fish costs 12 baht, bread costs 2 baht. A sandwich for 16 baht. A fishburger at Burger King costs 69 baht. I bought snacks for 10 baht each. I'll take pictures and give a 'review'. 16. มกราคม Random thoughts: The beauty of an ugly place - for Pao. Blemish - the focus on imperfections. Black is the color of my true love's... The ticklish tangle of a black forest - for Pon. Tiger before the entrance of the wat. Greying under a cloak the color of butter ~ for Tiger. As one year fades into another. Write a limerick they said... Once in a hamlet named Shakespeare there dwelt/came a young knight who died there he left all his gold to bonny prince bold who squandered it all on a brood mare. Now all I have to do is rewrite so it makes sense. 6594 |
| 15. มกราคม I respond to Annette's critique of my story found in "Sound of one hand clasping (Folder)" : "This was a wonderful challenge. Now I can revise! And clear up any confusion if necessary, add popnotes and foot notes as needed as not everyone knows this culture, climate and landscape (it ain't no Hollywood western). Although I tried to use lots of concrete images, even those need footnotes (some things here have specific meanings that outsiders wouldn't 'get'). It has enough images that it could be illustrated... and that might help as well. I didn't want any dialogue... that Sato-san can hear the One's voice in his head is key. That she (the neighbor, the One) need not speak adds to the supernatural aspect of it. Lim: maybe just a programmer... maybe part android, maybe not. Pond: the foil (and the glue). Sato-san observes but maybe he's more than that (not android), perhaps an 'angel' that reports to the One... who just happens to be a neighbor (or is temporary in her body). I need to revise. Because this is place outside of America I'll have footnotes. Like the colors... today (Sunday is red; Monday is yellow; Tuesday is pink). This entire story takes place in 24 hours or less. Basically: Pond (who is Lao and Buddhist) loves Lim (who is Eurasian Malay and Muslim), but Lim is hesitant and uncomfortable being open about the relationship. Sato-san (Japanese) is quiet, an observer, sees-all-says-nothing. The One is... the One (no name, no gender, no religion). The Programmer is ambiguous (a boss, someone else?)... until the end. Maybe the One is also the Programmer! I had to start somewhere I knew and felt attached to. So I placed it in Udon Thani where I was visiting and where I now sit writing this response. Pond, Lim and Sato-san are real people who are uber-fictionalized (think of them as talismans). The place names... are real. You could visit Mill Place, have a coffee, take pictures of the butterflies and stop by the smoking gazebo on your way to visit me in Lumphini. We could return, passing 7-11 for snacks, water, milk or Pepsi and take the bridge over Posri Road and go to UD Town and all the markets next to the railroad tracks. You could take the morning train to Bangkok. It leaves at 08:20. Sunday = red. Ponnya leaves today to sing at a temple north-east of Krungthep. If I had a place to stay I'd go. He has a lovely voice by-the-way.  14. มกราคม I may have unwittingly eaten raw pork today (possibly Naem (Thai: แหนม). Do not want to get sick. To Stik: My boyfriend is a religious and traditional Buddhist (not Zen). I will be expected to act properly at religious events. I will do so when I can join without having to compromise my personal or religious beliefs as Buddhism (and Buddhists... mostly) doesn't care. Atheists may find Buddhists less threatening than some religious folks. Death... Christians (many are dogmatic) really obsess with salvation for the soul and life for the body. Since I don't believe in their salvation crap (yes, crap; it's mean, demeaning and controlling) I don't want someone praying for my soul (hands off!). And since I don't think of death as unnatural and/or evil I don't quite get that aspect either. Sure, 'pray' for healing... but that's good whether Hamlin lived or not. I agree with Waltz... prayer helps those who pray. "It is Margaret you mourn for." GERARD MANLEY HOPKINS Spring and Fall to a young child Márgarét, áre you gríeving Over Goldengrove unleaving? Leáves like the things of man, you With your fresh thoughts care for, can you? Ah! ás the heart grows older It will come to such sights colder By and by, nor spare a sigh Though worlds of wanwood leafmeal lie; And yet you wíll weep and know why. Now no matter, child, the name: Sórrow’s spríngs áre the same. Nor mouth had, no nor mind, expressed What heart heard of, ghost guessed: It ís the blight man was born for, It is Margaret you mourn for. I'm sitting at home using my phone as a hotspot for my computer. This is going to make life so much easier! ปัญญา is working. Two keys = two lives. We can support each other without having to be attached at the hip. ปัน sings at a temple next week. He's practicing traditional songs. He'll be gone 3-4 days. What will I do? I thought of visiting a neighboring city; but, there's an event here on the 18th at 07:30. Both may still be doable. Orange is the color of Udon... color of the flower of Butea monosperma (Flame of the forest, Bastard Teak, Bengal kinotree, Kino tree) Control fear lest it control you? My response to Caoimhe: "It's one of the reasons why I travel and get out of my comfort zone. Although, that doesn't apply to hot spicy food that makes me choke or crushed pineapple from a can." 13. มกราคม Blue day = I'm wearing blue. Eating philly-cheese-steak at Koala. Pear told me about festival on the 18th at 07:30 near where I live. I think i have my hot-spot worked out. Awesome onion cheese cup at Yamizaki. 38 baht. Need blanket, shoulder bag, hat (mwak). I'm going slow. 15:40 = the sun isn't as hot as earlier. Morning was cool due to fog. Much warmer now. Returned home early as I'm exhausted. Towel 150฿, shoulder bag 480฿, hat 120฿. Straightened out Dtac hotspot so now I can work from home. 12. มกราคม An orange day. I saw Gay, brought her Purple Mountain Majesty tea (rosehip/rose/purplish color); bought postcards 6 at half price, 5 free; had duplicate key made; bought food; didn't get a shoulder bag nor hat, need both, size and color matter, but now I know where to find them; got haircut by the same barber, Gung; bought a yellow rose, vase, plate. Fairly productive day. I can use my phone as a hot spot, but I don't know which password to use... a visit to Dtac. 11. มกราคม 9 hours on the train. One child was precious (in a good way). Long trip in 3rd class, which wasn't much more uncomfortable than 2nd class. Nice chat with lady who got off in Ayutthaya. Arrived 25 minutes late. Ponnya was waiting for me.  10. มกราคม Oddly I wore a pink shirt for the trip. Left on a red day that blended into yellow somewhere over the Pacific. Today... I'll do whatever... sleep? "I return to Udon Thani tomorrow. I'm in Bangkok now after a 25 hour+ trip. Today I rest, take care of some business, see a friend. I will send postcards when I find some! I hope to find time to write. Probably afternoons when it's hot. Early evening is when folks eat. Ponnya works during the day. We'll see. Much depends on access to wifi." I decided to wear deep blue today. Haven't been out yet. 30°C here; 24°C in Udon; -1°C and snowing in Montana. It may rain later today and tomorrow in Bangkok and Udon. Pork satay with Ped. They remembered me... (old lady is fine) same at Pinto. Max was giggly shocked at my news. She has a younger boyfriend too (two years). Bought postcards and put money on Dtac. 700 baht should last me three months (that's about $20). 9. มกราคม 3 flights 25 hours and here I am in Krungthep. |
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| Thoughts on 2023: 1. I start a new stage of life... possibly the final stage. 2. 23 is not my favorite number but I looked ab-fab at age 23 in Kansas. Isan reminds me of Kansas. Will it be healing? The people are nice enough... 3. Will I be inspired to write? I will take notes based on senses and cultural observations. 4. I will spend three months in Udon Thani, more if everything works out with my boyfriend. 5. I want to learn Thai/Lao. This is a good metal exercise. |
8.januar The Thailand postal service recognizes the following structure for a postal address EXAMPLE, not mine: Line 1: HOUSE NUMBER STREET NAME Line 2: CITY Line 3: PROVINCE POSTAL CODE Line 4: COUNTRY. 119 RURAL ROAD 3009 SONG PHI NONG SUPHAN BURI 72110 THAILAND. 119 ชนบท 3009 สองพี่น้อง สุพรรณบุรี 72110 THAILAND. 7.januar 10 in the morning. So much to do. Coffee brews. landscape of my lover ripples to the moon-tide's say under the cover of fog awakens to the come-what-may of another languid day Thailand has changed its entry rules as of January 9th at 8 a.m. I fly in at 11 at night.  I managed to get to the library and make copies of my itinerary and most important my travel insurance. I should be okay. It should be okay for my entry into Thailand... whether I'll be able to catch the skytrain however... 23:30 Almost ready but I'm too tired, so I'm going to try to sleep/nap for 4 hours. Parked for later. This guy's hotel room is twice the size of the house I grew up in and costs more per night than my monthly income. https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/news/i-moved-into-a-5-star-las-vegas-hotel-for-... 6.januar Pot roast with Merry and others. Tea with Jay. Jamie Stone got my postcard. Bank and post office straightened out. 5.januar It's an orange day. Vote 7, 8, 9, 10... still no speaker. I'll soon be back in Udon. Ponnya's mother is visiting him. Ah... he wants me to be family. To huser:spiritspeak7: "I don't seem to need the 'physical' personal space that others crave. It's cultural. I felt comfortable in Tokyo shoulder to shoulder with thousands of strangers. I felt safe. However, I refused to work for one boss because I didn't feel safe 'emotionally' no matter how great the physical distance. I tend to pick up 'vibes'. In my travels I immediately felt a connection in Belgrade while I felt the undercurrent of hostility in Cape Town." To huser:cappucine: "I have no reading challenge. I need to learn Thai/Lao. And write... I need to write. Small talk in Thailand: Have you eaten? It doesn't necessarily mean anything. Like the weather, people say it when they don't know what to say." Got some food to Scott because I'll be gone 3 months. 4.januar Meatloaf. Friends. Paid rent. One less worry. https://www.msn.com/en-us/travel/tripideas/frequent-fliers-are-sharing-the-trave... Immediate thoughts: Anywhere but Prague. Bratislava, Vienna, Budapest, Munich... Beograd is a nitty, gritty, shitty, dirty city... and I loved it. Northern Portugal: Guimaraes not Chaves. One is alive the other is dead. Anywhere in Japan or Taiwan. Safer than the USA. Luxembourg: pretty but soulless. Grenada is the prettiest city in Costa Rica? Kotor not Dubrovnik. Tallinn never Narva. Walking? Sofia Bulgaria, not Bucharest nor Bangkok (absolute nightmare). Paris... I was charmed by the people! Breathing? Tromso and the Lofoten... not Missoula nor Mexico City. 3.januar To Lyn: "My writing has been chaotic this last year, but so has my life in general. I will remind myself in Thailand next week that I need to make time for myself as well as time for my boyfriend. I need balance. I'm not a Libra... but my boyfriend is. "Saw Laxmi and others. Lasagna! McCarthy (disclaimer: I'm Clan McCarthy) can't get enough votes in three rounds to become Speaker of the House. I'm thrilled. I think there are others better qualified. If 10 or so reasonable Republicans can approach the Dems with a viable alternative then this could be over tomorrow. If not... who knows how long the voting will continue. The rift in the GOP is quite deep and bitter. At least now it's transparent. 2.januar Monday musings: I posted this on the newsfeed: Annette's contest is officially over! I was tempted to ask her whether there was a prompt #8.  These are the 7 chapters. Since I knew my setting (Udon Thani in Thailand) and two main characters (Pond and Lim) in #1 I just tried to go with the flow no matter how qUiRKy the prompts. #4, 5 & 6 took the story in directions I would never have explored on my own. ""Sound of one hand clasping" Chapter#1" A bang interrupts the angst of a new couple. Pond's p.o.v."Yellow Means It Must Be Monday Chapter#2" Each day of the week has a color. Yellow is Monday, pink is Tuesday. Lim's p.o.v."Dreams of Butterflies Dancing Chapter#3" Choosing a butterfly was fortuitous as it helped with #6. Sato-san's p.o.v. "Spirit of this Place Chapter#4" Does a spirit flee the scene of their physical death? PondLim & Sato-san commiserate."Do Robots Ever Sleep? Chapter #5" A.I? *ack* Do robots know they aren't human? Lim's p.o.v."Metamorphosis Chapter #6" Weaving in #1, 3, 4 & 5. From Pond, Lim and Sato-san. Are the Programmer and One supernatural? Hmm..."Sound of two hands clasping Chapter 7" Resolved. PondLim are closer than ever. Sato-san's task is complete. They are all listed (in earlier and/or later versions) in one folder (One Folder to Bind Them All) with footnotes. At some point they will be re-edited and made into one short story of about 1,800 - 2,000 words. Genres used or alluded to: romance, cultural, animal, food, nature, (auto) biographical, business, spiritual, supernatural, relationship, death, LGBTQ... among others. Senses are used throughout. "Sound of one hand clasping (Folder)" To Sterling: "I really enjoyed doing this once I stopped screaming ... a couple of the prompts threw me  . But I mostly figured it out. I believe 10 of us finished! I had done something similar once at a workshop in town. Having a "guide" to upend one's plotted (potted?) plans really forces a writer to be creative. I had to make one character a tad robotic.  I was really grounded in the setting and characters. That made my task easier. Ah... but the details of what the characters would go through...  who knew! I didn't. What part of the task did you like the most? Do you have a favorite chapter? Would you do this again?" "Invalid Item" Am I up for this? I mean, "Beginning is tough; but, OMG, do you; don't do Sally; only Sally can do Sally... and one Sally doing Sally is more than my heart can take! Bless her. Now pass the collards and black-eyed peas. I must admit that Sally's daughter Sarabel Lee knows how to cook. Just the right amount of bacon grease for the collards and the peas are soft but not mushy. Now about you. Not everyone can become a sheriff. It's more than sharp-shooting down on the range; but, you know that. You never did like to waste bullets and you have a heart. And this town needs a sheriff with a heart, I'll have you know. Too bad Old Tom's ticker gave out on his 80th birthday. Now. He knew how to handle Sally. Yes, sirree. Pass the mashed potatoes, please. Yep, he'd please-and-thank-you all day long when Sal-Old-Gal showed up with shoo-fly pie. Yep. He knew how to handle Sally and that wannabe gang that always hung around her like a rhinestone necklace. But. Do you. Old Tom's ghost won't haunt you. Sally? Can't make no promises about that." [179.120] Express it in Eight: Dave posted a poem today and this is my silly 8 line response: I hurry down a grovel path to hide from mighty blokes residing where the mountains scream at rabid city folks. I soothe my wounds from acid tongues among these squirrely butts and count my blessings every time White Rabbit brings me nuts. K.E. [179.119] Maybe I should title it "Grovel me nuts"Laxmi gave me a gift certificate. Got a maple-pecan danish and a molasses cookie. Still have some credit. Wrote  in my journal after a two month hiatus  .Got Crisco to Scott. Possible ride to airport on Sunday. Bills - Bengals game suspended... as it should have been. |
| 22 is my favorite number so here goes: 2022 was the Year of the Tiger. I'm a dragon so maybe a bit of opposition there? 1. My mother, born in 1922, died in March at age 99. She wanted to outlive the Queen... and almost did. No tears though. She nearly died at age 35, survived a stroke and heart-attack, and traveled until she was 93. Broke her leg at age 97 but lived on her own up till then. She outlived everyone in her family, including her youngest sister who died in February at age 93. 2. My mother's death felt like a great weight lifting from my shoulders. I don't feel a need to share details here. My family isn't the warmest fuzzy out there but I have kept in touch. It's not that they're cold prickly... most are just distant and apathetic towards everyone, including me. 3. I managed to travel in April! I was nervous going to Portugal and was sick (not covid) most of the time I was there. I changed flights to come back early. Met great people like Evelyn, Matthew, Neno... and stayed in two places I'd stayed in before. Worth it but I lost weight and didn't enjoy being weak and sick. 4. I nearly lost my place in summer. Again, no details here, but Bry helped me survive. It did upend any thoughts of leaving in July. Smoke season in Montana is brutal. Hard to breathe and I don't have a/c. I usually leave. 5. I finally traveled to Thailand in November after watching numerous Thai TV shows, studying the culture and language. I had planned on visiting around Isan but ended up staying in Udon Thani... so much for plans! But... I acquired a boyfriend... totally unexpected. That is proving to be a cultural/personal education. I go back soon. |
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