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 |   A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life. |
Started July 1st 2019 for contests, etc. as other blogs are filling up and have other purposes.  I'm starting a new blog because
I'll be linking to
I've started an appendix (I no longer have one personally) to keep track of my Space Cadet journals for Space Blog. It's a work constantly under construction. Mind the mess.
I needed to start a folder for contests as there are so many deadlines and details to remember.
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| (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. 2 juli 2023 I was up too late, now up too early. Back to nap.  ytBL. Home School Ep.8 foto.  เที่ยง. 30°C. Sticky. May rain tonight for 3 days. Thai. Jai https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfJCsPR3llM walk. pôod. wash. Pan washed clothes by hand.  Food here is expensive. 58.000 kip = 116 baht for a simple meal. Might not be so cranky but no breakfast because we got there after 08:30. Only toast, egg, cucumbers. Stressful day... my fault. Did meet an English couple from Manchester, Cheryl and Kevin. Trip to Vang Vieng straightened out. Bus at 11:30. 300 baht. Staying at Maylay for 3 nights as I figure adding a night will be fairly easy. Clue: buy a mocha at Amazon with baht. Get change in kip. Went to the night market and Pan made me eat (pork-rice balls? very good). Met a couple from Kapstad, Suid Afrika, Karen and Johan?. 1 juli 2023  exor. 200/50/50/200 = 500. 82 degrees at 09:10. ss&s. ytBL. trip. Took about 3 hours to get to our hotel. Much nicer room than last time. bogs. Mighty/Chy/Robert walk. foto.I will eat. I will finish packing. I will... put on clothes. Goal is out of here around noon. Getting to hotel in Vientiane by 2 or 3 will be fine. My routines will basically be broken for this trip. To huser:missbusta07 (Mighty) in "it's friday, i'm in love"  :I usually wear the color-of-the-day. It really helps me know what day it is. However, today is a purple day and I'm wearing dull orange and tan. I love cashmere. I'm happy with good clothes if I can get them second hand. I actually did a short workout this morning before going to Laos. My routines will be disrupted for 10 days or so. I weigh 81 kg. My goal is 75. But... I shouldn't care too much; losing weight slowly would be best. To huser:amalthea (Chy) in "Never get put back together" : "Reached a couple June goals, canceled a couple others. Finishing on time has been a life-long struggle. Knowing when and where to cut (my loses)... priceless. To {huser:cathartes02 (Robert) in "Moonshine" "The Moon is made of cheese... specifically government issued orange processed cheese. The cheese was sent there to keep it frozen until needed by the aliens who invented it. They then left for one of the dark moons of Jupiter but haven't made it back yet. They will be back though... just you wait and see. In actuality they orbit around a common point... me!" 30 juni 2023 "Tourist, Traveler, and the Toad" Thinking of "Writing 4 Kids" Mole: I see what I see if it's right in front of me. If it's daylight. You don't need to leave the light on. I can sniff my own way in the dark. To huser:wiesblaize (Petra) in entry:1051800 "I have to exercise and walk every day. Easy in the 6 condo towers. We have a small 4 station workout place outdoors, an indoor exercise room (that I don't use). We also have 3 pools. I put swimming on my to-do list. I have been afraid of water since I was a child; so, this is good for me. I remember seeing the ocean for the first time when I was 21. I remember the blackness, the stars, the Southern Cross and the terrifying immensity of it all." To huser:intuey in entry:1051822 "My life has changed drastically in the past year. I had this crazy idea of traveling around Thailand... but I ended up in a condo and a relationship. Both totally unlike me. I even work out each day and go swimming. I've been allergic to any notion of taking care of myself in the past. I live in small places. I'm a depressed clutterer who can't get rid of anything. A small places puts limits on my insanity. Entering contests is one way to restart the writing-engine." To huser:annipon re "Turning blue in June" "I vote for the Pomegranate. Ancient symbol for many things.I absolutely don't do resorts. If I did I don't know whether I'd join in with people or hide. The neuro-science gathering seems promising. NaNoWriMo can wait for a different month... maybe October? Choose one that will allow you to focus without too many interruptions... one with 35 days is best. Montana Smoke Season is brutal (especially if there are 'controlled' fires in Idaho). Smoke in Isan started in February and lasted through April in Thailand (due to a government mistake and lack of ASEAN regional cooperation). I love Rain Season. I do not like SADD (both summer and winter for me)." "I like the beginning of Spring and Autumn. Growing up, summer was too hot for me; winter too dreary. In the tropics (Thailand 16 degrees N; Costa Rica 9 degrees N) the end of Cold Season is Hot! Hot and dry and smoky and may be great at a beach but not for me. The rains are a godsend; but by the end... the grey skies and deluge is a tad too much. In both places that would be March-April and September-October... kinda... sorta... I'd rather be in Montana during those months; but, reality has fangs and bites.  I can get a arctic-summer-high. However, that's not good for my balance either. I had to be careful visiting Norway in summer and winter."  exor. 200/70/100/230 = 600. 84 degrees at 09:20. ss&s. wash. Hopefully most is dry by tomorrow morning. bogs. Anni/Petra/Intuey. TODAY'S FOCUS MUST BE ON TRIP.  เที่ยง. 91°F 33°C; Humidity: 67%; Wind: 5 km/h  foto. วิดีโอ. Chiang Rai Exibition. tv25. Be MY Favorite trip. Hotel reserved. Partially packed. Have money (dollars, baht, card). ytBL. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHV3DdOMFnkFinished with Bard's blog contest. 27°C at 11 p.m. Very stressful day. Partially packed as Pan folded my clothes. He didn't have a meltdown even though I did. His meds must be working! Reserved 2 nights in Vientiane. Same hotel but better room. About 1,110 baht ($30). We made this run in March so it's easier the second time. 29 juni 2023 Not well this morning. I slept okay but I'm still sleepy at 10 a.m. My anxiety is 'killing me' which is usual but never welcomed.  exor. 200/50/100/300 = 650. ss&s. pôod. Saw Tom. My confidence builds even if my vocabulary lags. 86 degrees  bogs. Sharon(fb)/Elycia/Harlow Thai. formal/informal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pdKXDVEhnc walk. foto. Exhibition. pool. Water was warmer and less chlorinated.  tv25. Home School. 82 degrees at midnight isn't good... just saying...To huser:cloud9 (Sharon West) on fb: "You are totally mould-less or is that moldless ... apparently neither word exists but you certainly do! What it isn't is zippity-do-da Doris Day (loved her by-the-way) but maybe it's a croon... a very dark moaning croon? I dunno. I don't understand genres in general (too restrictive imho) and molds don't suit me well. Choice of black/white works well." To huser:brontosaurus (Elycia) entry:1051693: "It seems like a peaceful flow... do you manage this? I'm more of a rabbit... running from task to task, but like a turtle... slow, slow... slower. I make lists in my "garbage can a.k.a. dumpster" blog to keep track and remind me. It works most days. I do tend to start with a brief workout, mostly because it's too hot after 10! I wear sweat pants and a long shirt (Thai flies are pesky and mosquitoes are mean). Speaking/listening/learning Thai is another daily check-off. Walking is crucial but swimming has been more sporadic as I won't go in alone (don't like water). Reading? I try to read 3 blogs/day. Writing? Depends... I have to make a visa-run and considered Malaysia. Flight or train to Hat Yai... cross to Padang Besar... easy peasy; but, I'm too stressed to do it at the last minute. Train is 33 hours from Udon! Perhaps in August. huser:wolfgang (David) entry:1051774 "Are you saying I can see-or-skip "Asteroid City"? May I assume one lives inside the asteroid? Imagine a hundred asteroid cities with inter-asteroid connections. Sounds interesting to me. "Islands in the Sky?" Or is that applicable to cloud-ships sailing the mists of Venus? The Goddess needs to have a one-on-one chat with Charles and Cindy. I sometimes challenge comments, but try not to belittle the commenter. Hopefully the God of Sodom-and-Gomorrah isn't filling-in for Her that day." Pan looked good today and we may have resolved my travel issues. 28 juni 2023 Anxiety soars. Decisions have not been made. I MUST leave by July 1st. There are no 'stay' options. Laos, Cambodia and Malaysia are my choices at this point. Also... 1. I leave for 10 days, come back, renew around August 9th (must be a week-day) and leave as planned on September 8th (checked date, plane leaves at 01:00 so I'll need to be in Krungthep on 7th). Dates are specific and must be rechecked as a tourist visa is for exactly 30 days so August 9 = 1, August 31 = 23, September 1 = 24, September 8 = 31. But... I'll officially leave on 7th. Still, very tight. 2. I leave for a total of 10+ days but in two segments. A. come back around 8th, let's say; spend one month, leave around Aug. 5th, come back August 10th. Option A includes 1.900 baht renewal fee (easy-peasy) Option B must include 2 trips, visas, etc... Malaysia: plane/train; far but no visa fee; hotels cheap. Cambodia: bus or train; not as far; $30+ visa fee; hotels? Laos: bus; very close; $40 visa fee; hotels cheap but not as cheap as Thailand. Other thoughts: 1. Visit Elycia in Malaysia? Timing would be key. She's far busier than I am. 2. Holy Day in Battambang, Cambodia on July 9th. Holy Day 16-17 October may be better (two cheerful days, better weather). 3. Laos has embassy in Vientiane. I could try to get O-visa. I won't be in Phnom Penh or KL or if I am it won't be sufficient time. Laos would be best option for visa. I could visit Vang Vieng or go further north or south to Suvanaket. Important dates to remember in Thailand: Jul 28; Aug 1,2; Aug 12 (Mother's Day); Aug 14; Sep 24; Oct 13; Oct 23. These are important as government offices may not be open. A short border run now means a longer one later; a sufficiently long one means a short border run later or a renewal. This is trumping my writing and routines this morning. Very important to NEVER have visa or money issues when traveling.  exor. 300/50/150/300 = 800. Would like to do this every day. 81 degrees at 09:15. obsv. puddle; sun and shade; cirrus, cumulus, con-trails, puffs; flutter of butterflies, large, medium, tiny; wet leaves glistening (yesterday's rain), 3 men with a loaded trolly; bird carrying a prize for its nest. ss&s. เที่ยง. 32°F 89°C; Humidity: 67%; Wind: 3 km/h. Thai. Body parts https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3FxhwPWVm8 edit. "The Shallot" "While you were snoring" (and posted) walk. foto. Pan and wat. bogs. Sorji/Muzzy/Joy 29 degrees at 18:01. It wants to rain. Sprinkles earlier.  pool. Water felt cold and chlorinated. Didn't stay in long. tv25. Homeshool Ep. 1 27°C 80°F and humid at midnight.Anxiety soaring.  303 Creative v. Elenis: A case of "White Woman's Tears". To huser:forgiveness (Sara) in entry:1051682 "Family. You have a life... and a family. Never underestimate those blessings. Games and books = a movie? For some reason I thought of the ancient movie "Tron". We keep rice and coffee in our place at all times... and eggs. So much one can do with rice. We walk to the nearby markets (street vendors, stalls, etc.). At my age I'm very very careful No lifting for me! I do a mini-workout every day when I'm home and walking is on my checklist. Use it or lose it! I don't know whether I've lost any more weight, but I don't seem to have gained any back... so that's good. " To huser:muzzy43: "Read a bunch of your short entries in your blog "That is perfectly normal... Maybe." . I like the randomness and flow. That said, I think that "Glen Beck is a UFO." poses a serious question and the idea of humans becoming pets isn't too far off base or too far off time-wise. But pets can and do control their 'masters'. Ask any cat willing to tell the truth."To huser:joycag (Joy) in entry:1051675 "Patchouli... the original Time Machine! We use rose a lot here; The smell of durian will make you run! But in Montana I love sandalwood and lavender and cook with herbs de Provence. I'm moody ... so perhaps I'm more affected than most folks. I don't have the allergies that many complain about. Wonder whether there's some sort of connection?" 27 juni 2023  exor. 200/50/50/200 = 500. 81 degrees at 09:54. Saw Tum. pôod.On the Newsfeed: Phyllis: I spend too much time in my mind. It's why walking and working out are daily goals. I used to garden...  I'm considered 'intellectual' by some. They don't always mean that in a positive way. But in a world of boxes that bind, inhabited by bozos in blinders, I 'forget' that I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut. So... what could you note? 1. alliteration! 2. this is a response to a comment made in my blog entry of blog comments that I have responded to and further mused about [in] "Over-responding? Nah... *tries to hide*" . 3. It's short! I can be 'chatty'. 4. It's a bit introspective (I don't make enough time to contemplate my navel). 5. It's written and shared. That last point is key. Too many people have thoughts that they don't write down, refuse to edit (I edited to get that desired alliteration), don't think are good enough to post and then THEN put on private because they are frightened to share (sometimes with good reasons, but...). It's important to share your life. I've said this soooooo many times. "Your boring mundane 'unimportant' life is fuel for my poetry and prose." YOU INSPIRE ME! Consider finding an old diary from your great-great-gran... would you focus on correcting its grammar, be bored, shocked by the details, mock it before you threw it in the trash? Or would you treasure it? Imbibe and inhale it? Let it inspire you? Your silly thoughts and observations, your style of writing, your tears, anger, joy... are the treasures you share with all of us and the gold that future generations will mine. Specifically thinking of Sonali, Linda, Rachel, Jodi, and especially Bryan who practices this by sharing. I'd love to know the thoughts of a teacher, Carolyn, Steven. เที่ยง. 82 degrees and 'heavy'. To huser:LeJendpoet (Jen) re "So Much to Do" : "Advice can be used for bird-cage and litter-box lining... and can be as crappy as dog-diarrhea. So... I proceed with caution.1. You are aware that there's an issue. That's half the battle. 2. Your boss/friend/dog's-human-dad can help by insisting on work boundaries. 20 hours max? Over 2 days, 4 days, no more than 5 days (unless working 3 hours/every-day works for you like the routines of getting up and making breakfast...)? 3. There will always be too much to do. Let it go... let others... Your puppies (no matter the age) will thank you.  "To Jen on the Newsfeed: "My anxiety is rising. I'd rather just stay home for the next two months. But... my butt needs to leave Thailand (for a new visa) for a day or two or maybe even ten. I don't want to. It may be a lesser known footnote of the Rule of Entropy (movement = life) versus Frictional Facts (this place feels like velcro)."To Margi (on pookfaze): "It's an issue in Thailand where 'working hard' doesn't matter. Who your daddy is = success regardless, because nothing else matters. There are other issues like colorism (whitening is a big issue here as it is in most of Asia, but in Thailand those with European or Chinese blood have naturally lighter skin and therefore... ) . I grew up in this type of environment totally unaware that there was a ceiling. Thais are aware and most don't bother banging their heads." To Elle in "Invalid Entry" : "It takes time for medications to even out. Glad you are happy to be on them in the meantime.Pan has severe medications and a diagnosis that would be greatly concerning if I wasn't already familiar with it in other friends. That said, he had a major breakthrough a couple days ago after a scary moment. He ADMITTED that he has severe issues, has to take his meds, that the side-affects are lada lada lada. His body needs to adjust. In his case he wants/needs to sleep... like 16 hours/day. So... he struggles and I struggle with his struggles. My own struggles? At my age I work around them; although, I'm not sleeping well and my anger-issues flare up at inopportune moments." bogs. Jen/Elle/Margi(fb). foto. ขนมจีน (noodles) Thai. Homophones (funny, useful): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmZCyT5qPs8 ss&s. late... better than never... walk. stalls up around 3 p.m. chicken with cheese. foto. cat, noodles. วิดีโอ. rain at 5 pm. ytBL. Move to Heaven 'สู่สุขติ' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cltQ4U-G_BE PorP. "The view from the swing had always been lonely, except on Tuesday afternoons when the ghosts gathered to join his vigil. "Hook of the Book" and I think I've finished this ovi that I began on the 15th: "Ovi for Pan [180.56]" Midnight: 78°F 26°C; Humidity: 95% Wind: 3 km/h. 26 juni 2023  exor. 200/50/50/300 = 600. 71 degrees at 09:24 in sprinkles To huser:mousethyme (Mouse) re "Invalid Entry" : "A Room of Your Own. Yes, you are right to be grateful as you know the alternatives. I was thrilled when my disability went through and I could rent a place with a roommate, and then when I moved into my own place. Now I share... but that is my choice. So much is about options. The rest? Details. But I don't find the mundane blah-blah-blah boring. Writing? Yeah, scratch those notes down. Make a pile of them separate from the other piles (trust me on this). " re "Invalid Entry" "Not all "laziness" is just being lazy. I'm low energy. I get easily over-whelmed. Other people's expectations seldom make me do anything. If I'm not motivated it's hard. I have made writing goals and objectives before; but at the moment, I'm focused on Thai language and culture and "working out". And next week I travel. Yes, I scratch down notes. Yes, I write. But the "big" items will have to wait. To huser:pwheeler (Phyllis) re "Earthships - America's Off-Grid Desert Community" : "I don't believe in separate self-sufficient units. Yes, I think it's a good idea but off-the-grid a waste of resources imho... as are HOAs, gated communities, same-age, same sexuality, no-children, same religion, same ethnicity... The idea of recycling is great. But... there are plenty of homes in Michigan, Indiana and elsewhere that could be recycled and already have the infra-structure like roads and utilities. If these units were connected, grouped, close to markets, etc. I'd be more inclined to support them. They will remain the play-things of the wealthy, the paranoid (afraid of people), xenophobes, or the lovers-of-tech geeks. As a unit they may be sustainable and the experiment is laudable; but, it's not an open inclusive community." To huser:soledad_moon (Stik) re "Autist Behind the Wheel" : Many transit issues are cultural. In this condo people use the elevator and not the stairs. Sometimes they choose to wait for the next trip. Oft times they turn their back, and rarely exchange a word. In Japan people walk crowded streets and ride crowded trains, never intentionally touching. Privacy is coped with in different ways. Over-stimulation? It's a societal norm to not make noise on public transport. Americans tend to be more gregarious and self-centered. Americans have this image of dirty dangerous subway systems perpetuated by the media and sensational stories they consume. Sorry, Americans... Taipei and Bangkok have reliable, quick, and clean MRTs. Mexico City subways may not be new or clean but they go most everywhere. None of these systems are expensive either. The poor can and do use them; but then, poverty isn't considered a disease everywhere in the world. The Asians I've met (in Taiwan, Thailand, Japan, with a sprinkling of visitors from elsewhere) may want money, may want to be rich, (may even look down on the poor), but they don't treat the poor as poorly as Americans do. Their cities are livable and transportation is available. Is this 100% true? Of course not! I don't live in the Land of Absolutes. In Udon Thani, people don't walk. Some Europeans do (Americans don't either). But... there are 7/11s at every corner (or so it seems) and food stalls everywhere and multiple options of transport. But... people don't use public transport either. Tuk-tuks (skylab here), taxis (car and moto), private (Grab is our Uber). It's literally dangerous to walk and there's NO accommodation of mobility disable people. Apparently this is true to a greater or lesser extent throughout Thailand. Taiwan and Japan are much more advanced. Me and a car? I didn't drive until I had to learn in Kansas. I was 23. I prefer stick shift. I can zone out so I have to be careful. But I hate traffic! I love the open road, especially if I'm the only one on it. Nowadays? I prefer to stay and live in places within walking distance of my needs. I don't want to be in a cabin light-years away from humanity. I can survive in urban environments like this huge 14 story, 6 tower condominium complex. It's called a door. As to the thrust of your arguments... autism is a factor as are other personal physical and mental barriers and need to be considered. However, most people have legs and most can use them. Car-first have left many behind and further impoverished poor people. Segregation and disruption of neighborhoods and lack of investment in small businesses have gutted cities. The American dream of having three freezers (like Armageddon-Preppers), a three car garage, gated and fenced HOAs... leads to inequities ignored by the Keeping-up-with-the Jones's crowd. I put people first over personal preferences. Needs over wants. I reject the marketing notion (fallacy?) that there isn't enough for everyone. And this affects my attitude to urban design including transportation. In spite of a culture of looking out for family and friends, making merit by giving monks and beggars food or coins, general kindness (or at least the avoidance of conflict), here in Thailand there's a real issue concerning who is human. Cars are driven by humans. Animals walk. Cars have priority over animals. 'Nuff said. เที่ยง. 81 degrees at 12:14. wash. All hung up. bogs. Stik/Phyllis/Mouse Thai. this&that https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruhK1IGlncATo Steven on the Newsfeed "Note: Look, the USA seems to have some fine people in it...": "It's a cultural-political game. Americans have centuries of erasing people (Australia is a relative newcomer). The White Christo-Fascist movement is ascendant and teachers have every right to be concerned. Tradition, preserving our culture, pedophilia, pornographic... all code words meant to cast aspersion and demean others not like them. Destroying a tolerant multi-cultural society is the ultimate goal. It's an inquisition. No one is safe from finger-pointing. Truth doesn't matter because they Know The Truth (theirs). The proponents are focused and powerful. Opponents aren't sure how to stop it. The courts have supported the notion of allowing a theocracy under the guise of the so-called democracy. Human Rights are being attacked. Can we all get along? We can but obviously choose not to. First the Insurrection, then the Inquisition, ultimately ... Amerikkka Uber Alles. And yes, that is offensive to many. But I'm tired of apathy (it can't happen here like in ____ fill in the blank with a country you hate but have never visited), hair-splitters (but this isn't like _____ fill in the blank with an historical event focusing on how the details, like hair-styles, are different), or outright supporters (believers in us-versus-them, winners-versus-losers, saved-versus-sinners) on social media (Tock-Tick,Twatter and Bookface are brutal), in the churches, running government, spouting off lies, what-ifs and what-abouts, even here. Most people really don't understand the danger of rip-tides until they're drowning. And this is not just one event. And yes, only about 25% of Americans support this but that's more than enough to create havoc and criminalize people." ss&s. shop. Durian! ทุเรียน tv25. Kinda... ytBL. Need to find a new/old one ... that's available. pool. walk. Lovely rainy day but slippery. Slow day. |
| Visa info: https://www.austchamthailand.com/6-ways-to-stay-in-thailand-for-the-long-term-an... To Rosemary on fb regarding her question, "Where did last week go?": "It went to the Old Weeks Home. They guard the memories. That's their job." (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง.  25/06/66 exor. 200-75-75-300 = 650. 1,000 would be a goal. 800 an objective along the way. 79 under the clouds at 09:56. obsv. pelos-de-gato = cat hairs = fine sprinkles like mist. herons hooting (is it mating season?). freshness of the air. Last night the pool was choppy after the storm; today it's glass. puddles. my pressure points. Silly putty, outrage, grunts and groans... social media? Cat-hairs. As if the herons give a hoot. They do. The morning air feels fresh after the storm. bogs. Neil/Viv/JeffTo Neil "A Sad Day to Rejoice" Yes, a fighter. Almost 90. Not bad post scarlet fever. That said, every day comes to an end. Apparently she had many happy ones and bestowed blessings on everyone she met. "Floating on a Sea of Guilt Ridden Relief" Family is an important part of a hospital stay in Thailand. They assume everyone has family and that family will visit, feed and look after needs. Families tend to be strong here; but, not everyone has one. When my mother died last year at age 99 I felt a certain-lightening. Fortunately, my sister was there and it was her time-to-go. The rage isn't good. It's understandable though. Had a good discussion about rage last night. The air-between-us seems clearer now. After the storm... the calm. Stuff. You will find new homes for some of it, choose to keep some of it, realize that with every touch you are touching something your mother once held. If you ever feel overwhelmed... let it out. Life is a series of wounds and healing. vpbanjo Viv re "Dream Voyage: Revisited" : comment in her notebook: "I don't review because I'm not qualified; plus, dreams are quirky. A blow-by-blow account of the storm (dropping into it or severely clipping the intro - the epilogue may need a word or two added, the gravelly shore was warm, grass green, trees unbent, rocks solid beneath me something short, sweet and concrete) would provide the focus for a flash fiction. 500 words? Less? More? Questions... what kind of boat? It doesn't matter in a dream, but details make a better story. What colors, sizes, shapes can be added? What sounds, smells, touch, tastes (eating anything when the storm hit? did you keep it down?). Add a back-up boiler and make it steampunk! Whatever works. This can be worked with. Personally, I'm frightened of water. I bob, don't swim. A barrel would be comforting in some ways." To Jeff "Christian Q&A + Faith" : "I'm not a Christian (no problems with Jesus). But I'll try to answer this as a Baha'i.I would repeat the three Onenesses: God is One, God's Messengers come from the same Source, Mankind is One. It has guided my life and how I act. We do not have rituals; but, I could work on prayer and being more mindful in my interactions with others. In Montana there's a mix of religious beliefs but many are Christians. In Thailand Theravada Buddhism is official but there's freedom of affiliation. In both places I need to be aware of the importance of ritual to others. My life has not been blessed by the criteria often cited by Americans; but, I've been blessed in other ways. I don't consider any burden to be placed by God. However, many of God's "followers" have been brutal in their narrow application of my-way-or-the-highway. I bear no cross; I seek no salvation. That's the burden borne by others." เที่ยง. Cloudy and 82 degrees at 12:37. Thai. Daily  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1RQKqZu8HU pood. walk. Spoke to Ann at market. วิดีโอ. at wet-market. foto. tv25. Zero {Earth/Mix} 24/06/66   It's been a shitty 30 hours... posted elsewhere... if I'm moved to share. exor. 200/50/50/300 = 600. Not into it but managed. 88 degrees at 09:57. ss&s. Twice... see above comment.To Jeremy (soul-writer) "Repeat Until Death" : "For some 1+1 = 3. My parents were like that in some ways. But me?I remember Kevin. I still call out his name. A part of me died when he cut me off after 24 years of friendship. It was bad timing and became a part of a downward spiral for 4 years. But time moved on even if I didn't. After 20 years would I like to hear from him? You betcha." To (cmstarrett) Charity "A New Beginning" : "When I travel I take things that I cannot easily replace... like my chromebook and charger... never forget the charger! And my extra pair of glasses (and prescription) because I've been known to misplace them. Clothes can be bought and so can toothpaste. You have wheels so no need for 50 triple-rolls of TP. Living on less though can be challenging. Following a minimalist approach might be best on-the-road. In hostels people bring books to read and then purposely leave them and pick up a new one. (Little libraries may become your friend. If you stop on libraries along the way, a donated book of yours may be appropriate. ) Same with shampoo or anything difficult to travel with. They leave it! Someone else may just need it that day. It's acknowledging that needs will always be provided. Wants? Make that a short list. Like that bracelet. Want it? Focus on what is necessary to achieve it. I use my place in Montana as a livable live-in quasi storage unit. I have less here. That said, it's time to unclutter here and there. Next stage of your interesting life... enjoy it." To NormaJean "Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!" : "Not gluing back the pieces? Kintsugi came to mind, but that's with gold. Worth it if it were a special heirloom or one-of-a-kind. Jumpy? I mean... you could write about a nervous shelf that just couldn't hold on any longer! I knew about chicks in the mail, but that's a very old memory, possible from Kansas/Nebraska, 70s. We have local roosters. The night herons hoot; the mynas chatter, the finches twitter, the swallows silently swoop." เที่ยง. 12:35: 34°C 93°F; Humidity: 57%; Wind: 13 km/h77°F Humidity: 90% Wind: 18 mph after the storm. It was wonderful! Thunder, lightning, whoosh! Doors slamming, things being blown about. I love storms. It's now 17:10 and I need to go for a walk. "A thousand words" Awful movie they say, but "A thousand leaves" would make a good short story or poem. you die as the last leave falls. Chris Carpenter re homelessness: Or both. Anyone with an extra bedroom can take in someone or even a family. Many would love to have a room of their own. Me? I've walked the walk. I took in refugees without a questionnaire and no monetary support. Why? Because there was a need and I had an empty bedroom. Chris Carpenter I was homeless for 2 years. I did not use drugs and I wasn't a criminal. Yes, there are those who do and are; but, when you've met one homeless person, you've met ONE homeless person. I do agree about developers, but common people, churches, local governments and laws (number of people per unit) are as much to blame. My conclusion? It's mean-spirited people who are the main problem. Kindness has been demonized. Helping has been criminalized. And homelessness has been monetized! Re mental illness... it' has taken over 6 months for Pan to explain his illness. I'm sure there are more details but it's progress. walk. spoke with John (Liverpool) and Nok. Also Memi. foto. shop. fish, linchee, ice cream... pood. Thai. criticism/disapproval https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWl6BkBghTg tv25. Zero... but I've seen it before so I didn't pay close attention. 23/06/66To Sonali re "06/22/2023-'hollow'" : "I really like this. This message is 'solid'. I'd tweak it to make sure the rhythm is perfect though because it demands a smooth flow (like a flute). The rhymes work (wallow/follow not many options with hollow.) Consider: I'm saying (you/I/we) need not dwell or wallow. Some things NEED to be hollow." To Elycia re "Pocket Letters Pending " : "Cute but it would need to be sent as a package? I truly need to make some small booklets that fit into a regular size envelope (that varies by country; in the US a sheet of paper folded twice works; in Thailand?). If I'm smart I could hand-write, draw and print (adding color with pencils to personalize). I've printed out booklets in the past. I keep forgetting that you're part of the Snail Mail group. "To Rhychus re "Safe from the fire below" "I do like this! Love the line Myself, the bain of all ants. but I read it as 'brain' did you mean 'bane'? I like 'brain' better because it jars the... brain. I'd work with rhythm a bit to smooth the flow. Add a syllable, take one out. Maybe use 'can't' or 'don't' instead of 'doesn't' in line 5. And 'surely shows' instead of 'does show' in line 10 and 'volition' or 'permission' instead of 'the will' in line 11. It comes close to traditional forms (ballad comes to mind) so maybe this or one of your other poems would fit the Trad Poems contest once Brenda starts it up again." "We're all just farts in the wind." "Fireproof" by Vanishing Vapor  exor. 150/50/50/150 = 400. Very hot. 97 degees at 15:15. ss&s. BBBP. 2 entries "After the solstice " "Trolling for the thoughts of fish" walk. UD Town. Memi มีมี่ runs tours. ytBL. Home School. I'm beginning to understand it and it's value. Thai. Many. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xIMKnbGb5g tv25. Be My Favorite. pôod. A little. foto.  22/06/66 exor. 200/50/50/200 = 500. 86 degrees at 08:50. But shade! ss&s. To Stik: "I'd be hysterical. Losing control is one of my major issues. I go into fight and flight (both modes) and would prolly bite you! Gay/straight liaisons ... the "straight" man is often the submissive ... perhaps to try it out? Anyhoo... there are lots of straight men who might say yes but ask gay men as well. The camera doesn't know the difference. As for handcuffs... no and no." To Lyn: "Up and walking. Yep. To either prevent clots or pneumonia, or both. The ice machine is a nice touch. My left hip has given me issues, but sporadically. I'm careful when I exercise but need to be more careful when I walk. I put 'walking' on my daily to-do list because I sit too much. We don't have hummingbirds here in Thailand. Finches galore though. We have birds that hoot. I believe they are night herons. Lots of myna birds and doves. Our grounds are kept immaculate but flowers = bugs and bugs = birds. We're a happy bunch. The unkempt lots and areas along the railroad tracks also help."To Storm: "I have little problem beginning things. My issue is finishing them. Blood of the Garlic comes to mind. It started as stories, and maybe that's what they intend to be. Same with Space Cadet, although that has more of a narrative. I haven't looked into printing out copies on paper, but I should. That may help me with the editing and sorting process. I've reread old works that I've forgotten, amazed that I wrote them. If only I could move on from traumas that easily.  That said, it can be easier to find flaws when a piece has mouldered for a while." bogs. Stik/Lyn/Sesheta ytBL. Home School is 'dark' and may be difficult for me in spite of the intrigue. Thai. Eating. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiR6ErzltdM เที่ยง. 34°C 93°F; Humidity: 53%; Wind: 11 km/h; mostly sunny 21/06/66 Wed, Jun 21, 2023 9:57 PM Bangkok อายัน (solstice)The storm last night cleared things out! Beautiful dawn (somehow I was up and caught pink sky in the north-west). Blue skies when I did my exercises. exor. 200/50/75/200 = 525. 81 degrees at 10:15. Late. ss&s.Pan cooked up rice to eat with potato, sliced green papaya (malaga = มะละกอ), and shrimp. Very good. I can eat things better when they are thoroughly cooked. That said... Pan is fading in and out of Neverland. เที่ยง. Mostly sunny; 34°C 93°F; Humidity: 53%; Wind: 13 km/h bogs. Nikola/Jim/NeilTo Jim: "Enjoy Wyoming. It's been wet in Eastern Montana, cold (and frosty) in Western Montana and it's never predictable in Denver... so good luck. Good to know that you have your bag. My luggage is getting old. Pull tab issues? Yeah. I do have one small advantage though ... I only do carry-on." To Neil: "A hopeless romantic trapped in the mind of a scared little boy and the body of a middle-aged man? I don't like the sound of that at all. I was middle-aged once... once upon a time. My boyfriend is on some serious drugs. One side effect is near-impotence. I'm certain it bothers him more than he acknowledges. He's a snuggler but not a kisser. I miss kisses. Pecks count but... I could easily find someone else to satisfy sexual needs. Very easy here in Thailand. And age isn't an issue in Thailand. Neither is gender or most anything else. If it fits... it fits. But... (you can fill in the blank with everything you've said). " อาข = power วิษุวัต = equinox อายัน = solstice ytBL. To 36:11. Started “Home School นักเรียนต้องขัง” Gonna be dark and spooky? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQl8Qh_8iXU Thai. Formal/informal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3353ucQGOTo read. Finished "Invalid Item" To Stephen: "Fast forward 2000 ... or was it 2001? Maybe not so alright. Zoe is now 13-14. Maybe the crisis lies elsewhere? Back in the USA? Fast forward again. 2020 ... yet another crisis where the enemy/villain is invisible and hidden. In essence mother and father save their child. But Christian... Stephanie will be haunted by that and unanswered questions. 2000? She'd be around 24. Did her family move to America? By 2020 Zoe would be 33. What would she remember about Adelaide and her childhood. Her father? Would anything repeat? The gov... all govs would be distracted by other impending emergencies. I do think a couple more books could be written. Characters would change. But then... in 20-30 years many things change. As have you! This piece is rooted in a place and time that you knew very very well. No need to update. It's authenticity is grounded. But... 2020... you could write another piece rooted in Adelaide and the reality you were surrounded with at that time. Not the happiest of years? Use the painful memories to write. The more difficult work would be 2000-2001 if you chose to do it. Especially if you moved it to America. Lots of research. This was pre-facebook and twitter both of which would reference and ground 2020. 2000-2001... Y2K, September 11th... people still used land-phones and phone booths! Russia had opened up and China was opening. In the USA there was fear, but not the trauma that followed. Australia? My life was fraught with pain 2000-2003 so... I try to forget that time and place; but pain can lead to stories... some of them gory. You may ask whether I liked it. Hard to say. I don't "enjoy" horror. That said, it was a good read and an aficionado of horror could give a better critique." walk. foto. shop. Pork, snakehead; clothespins. Pan bought 60 bottles of water earlier. pool. Talked Pan into swimming. Very important for both of us (for different reasons). pôod. nidnoi. tvBL. none tonight. 20/06/66 exor. 200/100/100/400 = 79 degrees at 08:11.I was up and out earlier. Ran into David and a couple from Poland who recommended the mountains and 'blue' lagoon of Vang Vieng. To Angie: "I'm old enough to have felt recycled a few times. I wrote about living in inner city neighborhoods "Juneteenth" but I'm not satisfied with the results. Too rambling. Too unfocused. Thailand will 'heal me or break me' or so they say. It's just wearing me out. Just another place that tourists claim to be Paradise. It isn't. The daily mundane blah of it all grinds me down. There has been some recent progress; but, it's not enough. Anyhoo... thanks for the badge. "![Merit Badge in Juneteenth
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I'm glad you're here, Kåre.
Things will get better and they'll get worse.
At least we know they'll keep changing.
Best,
Angie/buddhangela](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Juneteenth-2240950.gif) To Jim: "So... you have adult kids by now... 35 plus... 4? 6? So if this were 1988 I have no memories of that year (car accident). Petra reminded me of her contest and I should enter 'just because'. So many ways I could approach this. You chose 'memories'. I have too many. Even my entry on "Juneteenth" was hard to write (because I wasn't focused and I was avoiding certain images that kept coming to mind). It rambles and I'm not happy with it. Your response was easy to read and to-the-point. I should emulate your style." To Harlow: "I don't believe in the literal Heaven/Hell dichotomy so popular among certain sects of Abrahamic religions and I'm opposed to using it as a cudgel of control and obedience. I grew up among German-Americans who were brutal in this respect. No respect for diversity. Big on judgement. Adverse to tolerance. The Baha'i Faith teacher that our Soul comes from God and returns to God (kinda like a library loan). The body returns to dust. Here in Thailand Theravada Buddhism has rituals but death isn't to be feared. It's the fear that is used to control imho. However... Anxiety-Depression is my hyphenated middle name. I use Liam here in Thailand. Eternity? Not in this body! Consciousness? That would be interesting. But we have books and songs for that. The handed-down (written or oral) thoughts of the Ancients still surround us like water." To TJ: "This literally happens! Especially in the SouthWest US where rains can be sudden and brutal and flood downriver where it's sunny and dry on high banks and mud on the flats." To Whirls: "Every time I cook it's an original dish. I don't follow recipes and even if I did the results would be unique. I prefer variety. Even though the ingredients may be found everywhere the combination is inspired by that moment. Want the same-o same-o? Go directly to McDonald's... do not stop at a bank along the way. So... no... your word salad is gathered and tossed. It's the combination that is a part of you, vomited on the page." Bogs. Whirls/Jim/TJ/HarlowUnfortunately, I understand this. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-i-was-too-busy-to-sort-through-the... ss&s. เที่ยง. 86 degrees at 12:22 mostly cloudy. Thai. "Ia, uea, ua" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkgU5IZKLzQ walk. Just Nong Bua. foto. In park. ytBL. Last Twilight ภาพนายไม่เคยลืม just the trailer. Sea/Jimmy couple. Sea is blind. 8 pm. Blustery, lightning. tv25. But I wasn't into it... again. Not a very productive day for me. Pan got his shirts mailed to folks who bought them. That was positive.  19/06/66  To Norma Jean: "A very green Montana from all I'm reading and seeing in the photos. Scott posted a photo of where he is... I responded... is it always that green? Here it's green. The rains came and poured a bit. Yesterday we had some rain it's pregnant-cloudy again today. The long range forecast isn't good though. El ninho leads to drought in this region. My constant anxiety is causing some issues. At the moment it's peaceful." "People disappear for so many reasons. I'm sure folks wondered after I ran away... I kept everyone at a distance. After this much time... I'm sitting here snacking on a sticky mix of puffed rice, sesame seeds, and peanuts while Pan hugs me. Last night I had rice with squid and pork. I met someone from Sweden yesterday, will finish reading Stephen-in-Adelaide's novel today, and I will study and speak Thai. I doubt any of this would have happened if I hadn't run away." "No Ekalaka? I've met two people from there... but does anyone ever go there? Same with Broadus I suspect. A Burger Trail is a cute concept and makes people aware of the small town diners. Once McDonalds moves in they're gone. I want to do a photo shoot with Pan but Stand here, do this. Wait - don't eat that yet, but pretend to take a bite. Smile - act like this is the most wonderful day of your life! is a foreign concept to him unless he's allowed to look like he stepped out of GQ. No desk, no service is the trend nowadays in many parts of the world. Cheaper for the owners. Great for human-phobes. I am not impressed and try to avoid them. In May I arrived after midnight in Bangkok. Apple was there to check me in. As she was the time before in January." To Patricia: "I really love this. My mother lived to be 99, but yes, the mother-wound. I think this could be made into a flash fiction and entered in one of the myriad contests here (unless you have already). Someone needs to read it. "Found on the internet: 'From Anthropocene to “Symbiocene” – Symbioscene When thinking about a good name for our initiative, we stumbled across the term Symbiocene. It has been coined in 2011 by Glen Albrecht. He uses this term to argue that human history should enter a new era that is characterized by harmonious interactions between humans and all other living beings.' I don't think I've heard the term used before, so thank you for making me aware of it." To Neil: ""Seventh Seal" and the chess game between Death and Max von Sydow comes to mind. Of course Death wins! Death always does. But... it's the game that's important and what one does with however much time one has to live. Live!" bogs. Norma/Pat/Neil exor. 250/50/100/250 = 650. Hand movements for pesky flies! Saw David. เที่ยง. 84 degrees at noon and cloudy. ss&s. A bit late, but better than never. Ate with Pan afterwards. Thai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRYjsM1HQO8 read. Chp. 33 & 34. Almost finished. "Invalid Item" ytBL. Just a preview but something... หัวใจในสายลม Dangerous Romance walk. Bought 2 dumplings. Spoke to Jari. obsv. Big cloud, hands waving, bee sipping yellow tubes, jet, flies... will I miss them, decrescendo of the doves, muted music from an open door A2, someone in the window C2 705, I waved. tv25. โคตรเหงา เรา 2 คน Loneliness Society. Hard for me to get into. To Adherennium "Days are what they are. Yesterday was squid and pork and rice noodles. Today... Cloudy with fitful outbreaks of sun. Thanks for the badge." ![Merit Badge in Congratulations
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Happy Anniversary. Hope that you have a simply wonderful day.](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Congratulations-2500.gif) And... ![Merit Badge in Shadows and Light
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Hi K,
Huge congratulations on your Honourable Mention in [Link To Item #shadows] with your fantastic poem, [Link To Item #2296536] .
I absolutely adored this poem. It really gave me the feels .
Rachel](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Shadows_and_Light-1936078_14.gif) Honourable Mention in "Shadows and Light Poetry Contest" for "HERE LIES A QUEER " .And... Juneteenth 7496 |
(exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. 18/06/66It's a rainy morning on a Red Day. 79 degrees at 08:26. Will I be smart enough to go out in it? Another note: my feet are bothering me a tad. I haven't been in the pool in over a week... does that help? Possibly. Just like lotion helps my face and walking helps me psychologically and exercising helps me put my pants on (my right thigh seems to be stronger and I stand better). Small things. Motion is life. Even the aggravation of living with someone teaches me lessons. To Mike: "I'm definitely left-handed which can be an advantage but apparently I also have two left feet. I can move for a moment and then I lose it. Maybe Musa Motha has an advantage by not having a left foot at all. He's definitely an alouette. One of the most amazing dance performances ever. You really need to watch this. " "To Stik: Warning: opinions and advice... I try to take photos of Pannya, but he's not artistic in a creative way. He always wants to look like a model. Bleh... Thailand has standards of beauty: light skin, tall (for men), with a perfect complexion. Pan is 26... and that's old. And he won't smile unless he puts on a fake smile. Because? He just can't be himself. He thinks he's ugly. Frustrating. Plus... black/white photos are for dead folks not the living. Forget art photos! Thailand is demographically young and the BL film industry (geared for selling products to teenagers) has been criticized about "the look" (like 1950s Hollywood). Now it's trying to portray roles outside of the boring (oh... very very boring... think 1980s white-folk-sitcoms). But... I watched a "show" last night of some of the best in the industry and cringed. It's sing/dance/pose... Fortunately in Thai BL series they have great writers, camera crews, cinematography, music, directors, coaches, and actors who rise to the occasion (most of the time... it's still too commercial). So, subject. IMO, find men who are willing to embrace a range of emotions, willing to take directions, and will let YOU do the picture-taking! I would suggest video and use a frame... or a camera with a fast shutter speed as movement is an issue for me (maybe you don't have that problem?). Good luck finding someone who isn't vain. Maybe just take thousands of photos of everyday people? Me just blithering, but I am truly frustrated." bogs. Mike/Stik/Sorji exor. 200/50(mild back pain)/100/250 = 600. 77 degrees 10:30 - 11:00. obsv. damp 'cool' cloudy, pesky flies, oblivious ants, no uncles see, white flowers strewn, hoots near and far, something hovering like a hummer (no hummingbirds in Thailand) gone in a flash, swallows swooping. เที่ยง 77 degrees Grey but brightening. ss&s. Late. Thai. Mood particles https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLHv-h2LxdA walk. Ate at Koala. Met Sam (Lars) from Goteborg at Sports Bar. shop. Sea bass, vanilla ice cream. foto. ytBL. tv25. Out with Pan and friend. read. 17/06/66 exor. 200/75/100/300 = 675; 79 degrees at 08:30. obsv. PorP.Observed, worked-out, wrote, spoke to Rick. He confirms the wisdom of my approach. It's possible to treat this as a do-nothing vacation. That would not be wise. I originally intended to travel around Isan... so much for plans. But I have adjusted to a variety of objectives that provide an overall routine. It was disrupted by our SiSaKet/KhunHan trip, especially my workout, but I'm back to the routines. bogs. Nikola/Mouse/RhychusTo N: "A new member of your family! Enjoy. I have to remind myself to be grateful that I seldom get headaches, never get migraines. Mind you I'm a pain-in-the-other-end. Friends will confirm that." ss&s. foto. food, lotus82 degrees at 10 am. Pan is still in bed. I'll try to get as much done before he stirs. It's wash day. And Saturday... but days of the week don't mean as much here. People tend to work every day. This isn't a 6/1, 5/2 or 3/1/2/1 culture. FU and the Unicorn you rode in on... need to address hyper-vigil and paranoic GenZ (mostly women) Boomers (mostly men) and others. I was the smiling child who wanted to connect with strangers because I couldn't around family. And now I'm supposed to respect you by reading your mind and not speaking to you? FU! About this: https://www.msn.com/en-us/video/news/pittsburgh-synagogue-shooter-is-found-guilt... It took 5 years and it's not over. What a waste! I do not believe in the death penalty but it's much cheaper and less stressful for everyone when the cops murder (shoot with intent to kill) the suspect instead of capture them. Unfortunately, the US is racist and more p.o.c. are murdered in this way over traffic stops then white folks put in jail for murder caught on video. 11:00 and Sleeping Beauty has arisen from his slumber. 86 degrees. ![Merit Badge in Celebration
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Congratulations on your WDC anniversary and thank you for your friendship! *^*Bighug*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/general-Celebration.gif) ![Merit Badge in Awesome Writing Site
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18 years! *^*Shock2*^* Damn but you're old! *^*Laugh*^* Congratulations!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Awesome_Writing_Site-1630911_14.gif) เที่ยง 88 degrees read. Chapter 32... 6 more to go. "Invalid Item" Thai. Animals. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4f4A44u7IU ytBL. Our Skyy Vice Versa | EP.2 https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/takeaways-from-the-scathing-report-on-minne... It's 16:46 and I'm happy to report that today went better. It would be nice to have no-drama days when I felt loved and accepted. I should be grateful for these few moments. Thought for the "poetry of isolation": its voice hushed by the turmoil of daily life / it sits inside me begging to be birthed / the weight of it a feather eager to fly / what belies its belief in eternity / what awaits its final demise // as it joins the other forgotten utterances / shared with the imploding void. / the scent of it floats through fluttering leaves / alights like a butterfly lost in dreams // here in the closet of forget-all-this / it whimpers to be released / allowed to become alive. walk. wash. I hung up the wash that Pan did earlier.  tv25. I watched some BGT. Not amused by the gmmtv show tonight.  16/06/66 exor. 200/50/75/200 82 degrees at 8:30 ss&s. Meanwhile... Pan got a haircut. bogs. Phyllis/Mike/Angr Thai. Family https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YZeDDJEOns เที่ยง 90 degrees shop. seasoning, bread. Sprinkles at 14:00 and 18:00. pink rose, lotus, donuts. ytBL. Our Skyy Vice Versa | EP.1 Really cute. foto. caught the sunset. tv25. But saw only half and I'm just not into it at the moment. read. Chapter 28&29.To Lilli: "Thank you. I almost feel like an adult now. But... what's really sad is how few have been here at WdC longer than me. When my mother (99) died I also found out that my aunt (93) had died. They were the last of their generation. So... anniversaries are also sad. So many years writing... so many missed opportunities. At least today was a good day in-real-life. To Tina: "Thank you... I just wish folks were more willing to engage me when I'm contrary. I stay here out of habit. WdC and I fell out-of-love long ago. I feel okay here when I'm part of a large multi-cultural community. I'm not a groupie nor a cheery cheerleader tossing a long blonde pony-tail with a pasted-on smile (real or fake) for "our" team. I never have been. So... I'm lucky to have any friendly associates here at all, or at least folks who will tolerate me. I don't feel the love I used to feel. But then... I don't feel embraced in Montana or Thailand either. If I dive off our balcony it won't be because I was pushed; it will be because I want to fly." ![Merit Badge in Follow Your Dreams
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Happy anniversary!🌺🤗hope you have a fantasti, special day. Thank you for all you do to help make this community so wonderful. You shine like a bright star here. Thank you for the inspiration you inspire. 🐉🐾💙](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/Kudos-Follow_Your_Dreams.gif) ![Merit Badge in Milk and Cookies
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Dear [Link To User enga] *^*Bigsmile*^*
On your *^*Suitheart*^* WDC Anniversary
Here is something while you go blog-hopping!
Thank you *^*Delight*^* for all the kind blog comments - and for getting me in to blogging *^*Smile*^* in the first place!](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Milk_and_Cookies-2290135.gif)  15/06/66Not a restful night for me. Pan was fast asleep and I felt alone. Got up reasonably early (before 8). exor. 200/50/50/200 82 degrees at 09:15. obsv. 2 hooting birds, jet, train, breeze, dying flowers (lasted about 2 weeks?) ytBL. Past-Senger Ep. 11 and 12. Finished! "Yep. Here in Thailand (I'm in conservative Isan) no one seems to care about the age difference between me and my boyfriend. For Bamee this is a forgotten lapse of time, for Kiew it's a moment he has waited for all his life. But yes... bittersweet is a good choice of words. And that... could've used 2 more episodes to resolve. Or a trilogy. Part 1 ends when he returns. Part 2 is resolving issues with his mom and friend while being patient while Bamee grew up. Part 3. the reunion... having to get to know each other again... the realization... the rekindling... and whatever obstacles put in their way. At that point whether they get together or not is less important to the story (although possibly heart-breaking to the viewer if bittersweet)." "I thought the ending was a bit abrupt. A couple more episodes would've been nice for Bamee to remember what he'd forgotten and for Kiew to rekindle what must be a very fond but hazy memory (like an old photograph). Also I realize that BL is written for a teenage female audience (that the rest of us get to enjoy) and that most of those who comment here and elsewhere are probably GenZ. BUT... This is Thailand. Age and sexuality do not present the same barriers found in the USA, UK or EU, or even elsewhere in Asia (Taiwan, Korea, Japan are very different as is their BL). Mind you... Thailand isn't a LGBTQ+ paradise; but, here in Isan, a conservative Buddhist region, I've been shocked by the acceptance me and my boyfriend receive in spite of our obvious age difference." read. Up to Chapter 27 "Invalid Item" "Chapter 27. Very intrigued. Now I understand what's going on... kinda... wouldn't be shocked if you had a surprise or two left.  That said... still a bit lost now and then. If this were a TV series like the Thai BL I watch then it would be easy. 4 segments each episode with a recap at the beginning and an enigmatic teaser at the end. We'd know what time/place we were in by other techniques... dress... haircut... lighting... Maybe not perfectly as this is tricky but there are Thai directors, screen-play writers and cinematographers, not to forget actors and actresses that could handle this! "6 main and supporting characters" is done all the time. The darkness has shown up in "Not Me" and is being explored as Thai TV expands past traditional soap-operas or single-genre main-stream offerings. This should probably be read all-at-once. It's not long, so one day would suffice for a quick reader. I will finish this soon as I don't want it to be drawn out longer than it was meant to be." walk. Got to talk with Rick on the way back. foto. Thai. Polite questions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZmXYmvxT4Q&t=13s pôod. tv25. Special Show. Making me a bit sad. Feeling so inadequate. Still not a fan of this silliness. Ovi? Not yet... "xx I bask in x moonbeams / while eating strawberry ice cream, / sprinkled with malted ovaltine, / leave none for you. // x I scrape the xx bowl clean, / it's not that I mean to be mean. / You lie there self-absorbed by dreams / and sleep unaware." bogs. Gonzo/Sonali/Robert 14/06/66Not all daze are Equal. Disclaimer: I stay away from artificial sweeteners. Got to station by 06:55. I was open and there were only a few scattered seats available. We didn't sit together. I was in #22 and Pan behind me in #26. The bus was nice, comfortable. They gave us water. Left 08:30 and arrived before 16:00. Very quick. No bad weather, no accidents or blockage. Easy-peasy. I didn't sleep well because I wasn't sure about Pan's alarm. I heard it... fortunately because getting Pan out of bed isn't easy. Had rice and pork for breakfast - the usual. Having fish (sea bass) and rice for supper. read. Up to chapter 23. Read on the bus. ss&s. exor. 100/50/50/200. Easing back in. Back has given me problems. 91 degrees at 17:55. Some shadows. foto. From bus mostly. walk. But too much sitting on the bus. shop. Jar for Milo. Vegetables. ytBL. Past-Senger Ep. 10 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5kDHTApUeQ tv25. Special show.I'm very tired, worn out, depressed. I just want Pan to hold me. He's in bed already but I'm trying to hold out until 21:30 before I collapse.  13/06/6628°C 82°F at 08:40 in SiSaKet. No bus to catch today. Pan sleeps in. I was up around 07:30 and I'm on my second coffee. bogs. Jennifer/Jim/Steph ytBL. Past-Senger Ep. 9 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iWZF2IHIoQWe went out to eat. I tried a shrimp but it must've had a chili on it. I had to spit it out (but washed it off later and ate it). I had a sneezing fit. Not good, but it really confirms whatever is going on with me and chili. read. Through chapter 14. "Invalid Entry" Noon. 32°C 90°F Walked to Huai Nam Kwam... a lake, a park, an aquarium (closed). Took lots of photos. Very long hot walk. foto. 16:00 walk. 16:0032°C 87°F 16:24  12/06/6681 degrees and blue skies. It wept yesterday evening after a downpour in the late afternoon. Room is too cold for me. A/c isn't always wonderful. Today our plans: we go to the doctor and back to SiSaKet. read. Chapter 7, 8. ss&s. Shaved. ytBL. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hlyEJzfMlo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F9zQ1LG0uo 88°F 31°C at 11:00. Oh... don't even get me started about sitting at the clinic for 5 hours. Imo, Pan considers sleeping and drinking water and eating more important than actually getting any place in a timely matter. 79°F 26°C in SiSaKet at 21:30 after light sprinkles. trip. Bus from Khun Han to SiSaKet. foto. sunset, rice fields. bogs. Charity/Tracker/Johnnypôod. a little walk. A day of sitting at the clinic, sitting on the bus for 1:45 = no walking.Two nights in T4 Hotel = 1.300 baht (last night was 350 baht). Yes, it's relative. One night in a hostel can be 300-400 baht/person. So this is reasonable. To Johnny: "I agree with ideals and goals in spite of what others pursue or block; but, goals without measurable objectives are abstract and 'squishy'. One example from my experience... I had a bbq in my garden for 15 years on August 28th for MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech. I invited a wide range of people. Usually 30-80 came. I may never know the impact but it was an act I could measure." To Charity: "There are different stages of life each with its own struggles and joys. I 'sacrifice' to travel. Not so hard for me now but I may have to make new sacrifices when I stop. I live in about 300 sq. ft. both in Montana and in Thailand. It's what I'm used to. However, that too will change." Pan was in bed by 9 pm. It's 22:39 and I'm exhausted. 7457 |
(exercise) Exor. (observations) obsv. (shit,shave,shower) ss&s. (read something) read. (comment blogs) bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) tv25. (write poetry or prose) PorP. (take a daily walk) walk. (buy something) shop. (take a photo) foto. (video) วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) pool. (clothes) wash. (cook something) cook. (tidy up) mess. (travel) trip.  11/06/66Update: "Weekly Goals" Up 9-ish. 85 at 11:36. We leave at noon. Hour and 40 minutes to get to Khun Han. So... yeah... making it a day trip would've been exhausting. I took pictures and video along the way. Coffee in KH where Pan greeted friends. Cloudburst just before 17:00. pôod. gaining confidence. Spoke to man from Khun Han in SiSaKet. walk. around SiSaKet. foto. วิดีโอ. from bus trip. to Khun Han. ss&s. bogs. Harlow/Mighty/Stik Thai. "and" lae/gab/gab(with)/laew-gaw https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvBAohEfJ0g ytBL. Past-Senger Ep.6 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvBAohEfJ0gDJT (Newsweek) "As well as attacking the case as a "witch hunt" against him, Trump also said that if he were to win the 2024 election, he would sign an executive order as president to remove federal funding from schools that teach critical race theory and "transgender insanity" and other "inappropriate racially, political, and sexual content" to children." In my opinion this equals 'erasure'.  10/06/66 ytBL. Past-Senger ep.5 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bi-1umow0EI&t=129s pôod. Trying to speak more. foto. วิดีโอ. from bus trip. read. Chapter 5. Thai. Learn Thai - Use of อีก(èeg) (more, again, another)Today was problematic. Trip to SiSaKet after very little sleep (up at 6 am). 7 hour bus ride. It rained by ราษีไศล Rasi Salai but it was dry when we arrived. So my to-do list is shot. Plus, I'm having computer problems. Did read another one of Steven's chapters. I'll get there. Pan is zoned out. Not good... but we see his doctor Monday.  09/06/66 82 at 9:26 Up late as I barely slept. Pan came home in a daze at 01:15. One of his periodic episodes. He was burning up and sweating all night, not moving, shallow breaths. Not good. I had a nice chat with David L. at the A2 gazebo. Pan has a doctor's appt. on Monday. Good timing? เที่ยง 87 degrees Bogs. 12:20 Jennifer/Lyn/Phyllis ytBL. 13:30 Past-Senger Ep.4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XibNhAoNM0 read. 14:00 Horror story. Chapter 4. Thai. 15:25 To be https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOyq37i_A3g&t=813s Exor. 16:00 150/50/50/150 = 400 91 degrees with some clouds. ss&s. 16:30 84 degrees 19:30 walk. 18:30 shop. 18:30 mouthwash 88 baht, 4 bao 20/ea, milkTo Steven: "Chapter 4: Silence of the Lambs? Someone needed/wanted a new skin? I just want a new body or at least the parts back that I've lost (they can keep the appendix). By now I've gotten into the rhythm of your verbosity. The pacing... that last line... a very good hook. Do all of your chapters have hooks? If so it works a bit like a nineteenth century penny-dreadful. Strong technique."{/} To Tracker: "My mother became a mother when she had me. I was #2 as she had a miscarriage. I named him Jeremy... because he had no name and no one to mourn him. I was the only son, the golden child, the misfit, the...  08/06/66 80-ish degrees at 7-ish. Exor. 08:40 200/75/50/225 = 550 obsv. 09:00 black cat on a blue roof; jets, planes, train; smell of grass, piles of grass, weed-cutter and lawn-mower. ss&s. 09:30 wash. 09:45 Pan washes clothes.   Exterminator 10-12. read. 10:30 Return "Invalid Entry" blog. 11:25 Apondia/Beholden/Rhychus เที่ยง 88 degrees ytBL. 13:45 Past-Senger Ep.3 Thai. 17:00 Negatives: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw_cz0Pxj_I PorP. 17:30 "Monochrome in indigo [180.55] ((8))" 84 degrees at 7-ish walk. 19:00 shop. 19:00 white rose, white lotus, durian tv25. 21:30 Our Skyy pool. mess.Foto only a couple. pôod. very little  21:50 82 degrees all color removed except for blue this nighttime gift of shame you left me towers I cannot climb supplications declined emotions I can never fathom here in the city surrounded by millions I sob all alone [55] Edited and posted "Monochrome in indigo [180.55] ((8))" To Judith: "Thank you. Lovely pastoral vignette. By-the-way... I find these interludes important and sometimes lacking in fiction where they can provide setting and ambiance. This would be a nice first chapter to a horror story (contrast can work wonders). In-real-life, too many people rush when it isn't necessary. Winter's a good case study. Roads not plowed = going nowhere. What gets done gets done. When everything's done one bakes or reads. Spring however, has always been my favorite season for doing something after being cooped up all winter. Springs came late along the Great Lakes and then hurried in a gush of leaf-green and pollen. I loved the smell of freshly mown grass. Usually in May. Today they whacked and mowed the lawns at the condo here at Lumpini in Udon Thani. Big piles of green, the myna birds searching the short grass. To live in the North, a place of 4 seasons, one must find the beauty at each time of year. I've settled into the boring routines of the two-season tropics. It's the 1st part of the rainy season when I welcome the downpours that sweep away the trash and cleanse the air. I'm sitting in a covered area watching butterflies and birds. There's musack playing and workers sweeping, but at 10:46 I have the seating area to myself. Basically... I see someone now and the birds... no frogs or toads at the moment. Where are they when needed to get rid of the pesky flies?" To Beholden: "Algorithms will dumb us down. I do search for odd things sometimes. Popular vs Peculiar = I was more peculiar. That helps me at times. As does the 'interested in everything'. Even with the news... I check out the 'enemy' occasionally. Recently, I found out about the dam by Kherson on a weather/climate channel. Nothing on MSN, so I went to Al Jezeera. Now? It's a concern but only in the sense of devastation and possible war escalation. Americans love to watch violence of various ilks. On youtube I watch The Voice, Thai BL series, Thai language instructions, random music but specifically Dimash."  07/06/66In response to a meme posted by Patricia: "Don't argue with creative types ... Why? It would do no good and if they did listen the world would be a darker shade of dismal." 80 degrees at 8-ish. Was up 7-ish. ss&s. 09:00 17:15 22:00 Exor. 09:30 300/50/50/300 = 700 PorP. 10:30 "Impatiens [180.54] ((8))" obsv. 09:30 17:00 blue-green and yellow feathered bird perched on the flowering ginger, looking for... nectar, bugs? Splash of puddles, running water in the ditches, fragrant jasmine, growing tips of orchid roots. blog. 11:40 Marvilla/TJ/Sorji Thai. 12:05 Barriers* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3ucO0fNVw4 เที่ยง 31°C 87°F Not sure about temp.  ytBL. 13:30 Past-Senger Ep. 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRw79M08MOA foto. 14:00  Heavy rain, took video. วิดีโอ ถ่ายวิดีโอ walk. 17:00 shop. 17:00 น้ำจิ่ม (no chili) กาแฟ 16:45 ไก่ หมู ลิ้นจี่ แครอท ผัก pôod. นิดนอย80°F 27°C read. 19:20 "Invalid Entry" Yes, I liked it. tv25. 21:30 Our Skyy 2 BadBuddiesxATOTS Ep.3 pool. mess.To TJ: Yep. The electric bill near killed me. It was very hot in May and mostly dry but the rains have come with grey pregnant skies. I wear an orange cap and carry an umbrella. I'm not too stupid. I'm a smart old fella. I also cover up. Bugs and flies and skeeters... They bloomed every summer, an oval of soft pink against a backdrop of sage-green cedar. They mirrored my struggle to be patient. I waited. You never responded. Should I have planted firecrackers, a rainbow explosion of color. Edited: "Impatiens [180.54] ((8))" To Dan: Spring came late to Montana. My friends say it's still wet and cool there. Green Season arrived in Isan with the rains. The birds and the bugs love it. And I don't mind 80f/27c overcast degrees. Better'n 95/35 and boiling in my own juices while choking on the smoke! Well... I woke up with a tummy-ache and loose bowels. I've eaten a little: rice, potato and pumpkin. And fired fish-skins that remind me of chicharrones but easier to eat. To Marvilla: "I am in the process of making personal adjustments to get my life back on track and more manageable. This. I need to do this periodically. If I don't I'm faced with too many changes all at once and that overwhelms me. So... Boundaries. Not as simple as one word for those who need to establish them. And we-both do. At the moment I still struggle with boundaries but I have made a list of objectives I can check off daily. I'm focused on learning a new language and culture but routines (exorcise/exercise and personal hygiene) are on the list so I don't neglect them. Focusing on accomplishments helps me to say no when I have to say NO (to myself or anyone else). As for that new cape... what color will it be if I may ask? " To Sara: "At a safe distance... I'm not sure that 20 years and 12 time zones are enough but I no longer feel stressed out by the past on a daily basis. Trauma is an unwanted "giver". So... a smile, a hug, and the proper distance (especially time-wise) is a good idea." "Birds need to have feathers; people need to have friends." Kiew takes away the phone and makes Bamee look (as in notice). I'm liking Past-Senger in spite of paywalls that won't allow me to watch all of it. Tita Josie seems to be good at cutting (only 60% is allowed on youtube) but I watch for cultural reasons not just to see a love story. I broke the computer screen. It's a touch screen so... I've had it about 1 year. I sent this poem from last June to the Senior Forum: "Serenade to Odin's Day" To Petra (edited): in a rush in a gush words tumble as we blush shhh—hush Sometimes we lose it along the way.  06/06/66 75 degrees at 8-ish. Exor. 200/50/50/100 = 600 09:10 Chatted with Tom pôod. 09:30 obsv. swallows and swallowtails. ants in the bathroom. 09:30 ss&s. 09:40 Thai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMItJRPfqHA 10:20 blog. Jim/Sonali/Angr 11:00 เที่ยง 29°C 85°F Partly cloudy and will rain later. read. Chapter 1 "Invalid Item" 14:20 walk. 16:45 tvBL. Past Senger https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhQF-BV27ps 18:10 87°F 31°C foto. pool. I could have because Pan would've gone with me. PorPNice chat with Tom this morning. She's the pink jogger. Her daughter lives at Lumpini; she lives closer to Nong Prajak. She's from Udon and 64. I can understand her English. She has a Canadian friend and that may be why. To Angr: "I really liked this. The use of 7/7/7/7 divided 3/4 or 4/3 reminds me of the hymn "Rock of Ages" and adds a musical component to these two verses. There could be more... a third verse going back in time... maybe two verses... and then a last verse back to the present/future/ancient-past. I have a variety of traumas and triggers. Not all memories are unpleasant but bad ones once triggered take me back. Photos work well for me, occasionally music (but more for emotion), and fragrance. Use of the 5 senses to describe a before time might be interesting. Now I'm back at my grandparents... circa 1960: a red cardinal, smell of rotten tomatoes, lilacs (May 1963), cold floor of the basement (we slept there on hot nights in August), flash of the fireflies, the slant of the hillside, the red sidewalk and white tires of nasturtiums, taste of split pea soup, and fresh baking bread (twice/week). Sound of? Maybe the porch swing... ah... the whistle of the steam engine (Pennsylvania RR main line). Thank you for taking me down the dirt/gravel path through the hollow." To Phyllis: "Thank you. It's not always easy and I get frustrated. I have a major problem with Christians... I realize that it's not fair to lump them together. I fail to understand why, when it comes to sexuality, they can't mind their own business (in Thailand the Buddhists struggle but do much better). I have come to the conclusion that some truly feel that they personally are called upon to save the world from all 'sins' and that they must witness and save family and friends. But once again... why can't they mind their own business? I need to write a blog about this. There are Christians here who could shed some light on this social-political issue. It's pertinent because of what deSantis and his ilk are preaching. I'm not always able to consider a different p.o.v. when I feel personally threatened." To Steven: "I read the first chapter and put it on my daily to-do list. I don't agree with your concerns though. 1. It's Australia... I don't expect to understand everything. Growing up I had never been to Yorkshire or England, but that didn't stop me from reading "Wuthering Heights". 2. It's not my style of writing (except for ... indicating a pause, a breath ... a ...) but it definitely works for a first chapter in the sense that I want to know the details that you so cleverly left out. 3. Yes, it's the 1980s and dated and that's part of the charm. You were around in that time period so it doesn't come off as 'historical'. A GenZ author couldn't authentically write this without extensive research. 4. You are far too hard on yourself. Yes, writers get beaten down but there's no need to apologize. 5. Since this is the second time this event occurred what about the third? I suspect that the 2020s are due for a repeat of horrors." To Sarah (zwisis) on FB: "06/06/66 It's the 6th of June in the year 2566 in Thailand. Lots of 6s. No particular meaning attached to that number 6 that I know of. It's a pink day with cotton-puffs that will turn angry later. How am I doing? I miss the sense of community we had in Blogville over a decade ago. I'm one of the few who still blogs (almost daily) and comments on other people's blogs; but, very little interaction. Y'all know how chatty I am. WdC is more like the Land of the Silent Tight-Lipped Lambs these days. No duckies, no dogs, horses or pot-bellied pigs. I feel isolated and depressed on-line and in-real-life. The view from the outhouse I feel I've been relegated to is awesome though..." We walked to UD Town. I weigh 81.4k; Pan has gained weight and now weighs 77k. Yellow watermelon, roti, fish skin. I liked the fish skin. 50 baht for a bag. 84 degrees at 21:30 and I'm out-of-sorts.  05/06/66 22 degrees at 07:30. blog. Joy/Sonali/Rhychus/Charity 10:00 Exor. 200/100/100/200 = 600 10:50 obsv. wet railing, wet window ledges, wet... puddles, birds on a line, frog-croak overnight (up at 03:36), two boys, 8 yrs playing games, wet reflections, cool, breezy, did I mention wet... 10:50 Thai. (อยู่)+Prepositions of Place https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYTDRiBxLP8 12:05 เที่ยง 80°F 27°C Overcast. ss&s. 12:30 pôod. 13:30 tvBL. Eclipse Skyy2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAmKWWHQKPU 15:30 Walk. 17:15 84°F 29°C Overcast. foto. clouds, orange flower. 18:15 shop. 19:00 pool PorPMess. I didn't but Pan cleaned. I'm depressed and there's no one to talk with. To Joy: "The word vigilante is key here. There's a certain intolerance that's taken hold of the American population again (a latter-day shunning if not criminalization of minor offenses). Although it's evident in writing circles I'm more concerned about politics and social issues. That said, I've seen people correct my spelling here not realizing that there are regional and dialectical differences or that I may be using a word from a different language (sometimes I'm aware of this, but not always). Ignorance is one thing, billigerence is another. I tend to use spoken speech and prefer concrete words to academic abstractions. That's frowned upon by some. I like to play with language which is also not always understood or appreciated. I travel the world so I'm amazed at people's grasp of English while I'm fumbling around in the local language. To mangle a phrase, "the enemy of good-enough is perfection". Pan has undergone treatments because he thought he was ugly. He showed me old pictures from before. I could cry. I would have loved him regardless. He tries to compensate with 'toys'. It breaks my heart.  |
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