The sordid thoughts and mental stumbles of the girl. |
Falling back, full fledge into writing, this time capsule holds the thoughts she cannot shelter and have no home but a page. From the twisted, addictive mind of one girl, staring out a window into space and time, she gives a little of herself. |
Finally home again, to see the family in the big city, happy I could be here again. I am hoping tomorrow is more eventful then today, as I didnt get to go anywhere. I guess its better to be boring then to have drama. We shall see. Its a big change from Kansas to here, New York City, sometimes, I wonder how I ever survived in this city. But then again, there is probably a reason that I didnt stay. Maybe my own weakness...something to write about I suppose. |
So some lady at work today, three generations, her, her mother and her daughters, all together and the little girl dropped her glass, so I cleaned it up. The women were so nice and kept saying thank you and Im sorry for the mess. But its not the thank you's per say but how they were said. I dont know, I guess you had to be there. And then I came home and...for the people who have read sepration in my poetry section - Im currently in the midst of considering a seperation/divorce...so I come home and on the desk is a card from my husband. This card about appreciation and loving all the memories. What the card said was pretty nice...but he wrote "I picked this one because its true and I believe it. Thank you for the beautiful memories I love." I wanted to cry. Even more so, on the desk was a little slip of paper, where he had practiced writing his little saying, I assume to spell check it. That made me smile. I have no idea where things are going but Im hoping for the best. The little thank you's and appreciations really do make a difference. |
Funny how your dreams can awaken the senses, subconsciously telling you all the things you miss from the world... |
If I could kill it I would. But it'll get me where I wanna be, or at least make the steps easier I suppose. My mind has been lost for days, feel free to kick me when necessary. Im completely lost in my own oblivion. Trying to remained focused and keeping myself smiling, whatever that means anymore, Im not quite sure. But Im hoping to find out sooner or later. Much love |
Ever get caught up in that vivid conversation, the one that drags you into a tango without a thought, losing yourself on the lips of another, never touching but completely feeling, living and breathing their soul. That conversation that makes your eyes water, your jaw drop, your heart race and your knee's weak... Every beautiful Day |
I just want you close Where you can stay forever You can be sure That it will only get better You and me together Through the days and nights I don't worry cause Everythings gonna be alright People keep talking They can say what they like But all I know is everything's gonna be alright No one no one no one Can get in the way of what I'm feeling No one no one no one Can get in the way of what I feel for you You you Can get in the way of what I feel for you When the rain is pouring down And my heart is hurting You will always be around This I know for certain You and me together Through the days and nights I don't worry cause Everythings gonna be alright People keep talking They can say what they like But all I know is everything's gonna be alright No one no one no one Can get in the way of what I'm feeling No one no one no one Can get in the way of what I feel for you You you Can get in the way of what I feel for you I know some people search the world To find something like what we have I know people will try Try to divide Something so real So till the end of time Im telling you that No one no one no one Can get in the way of what I'm feeling No one no one no one Can get in the way of what I feel for you oh oh oh.... This song is written by Alicia Keys, beautiful piece and so fitting to a world I live in. Very real. A true poet, I could only admire and hope I could ever portray and ounce of that skill. One day. |
hours of night, we hear our hearts beating, wondering of death and how soon it comes to our door, how easily it takes us and how all those burned bridges we created will never be mended before we meet our God. Never to be welded. Never to be crossed or known, and so we hold quiet the feelings of pain and swallow pills of acid, in knowing, for them, Tomorrow will never come. |
On the prowl, taking the life from you, feeding on all that you can give, your plot thickens as does the blood against faint lips searching for splendor. To read the mind of potentials, gifts of life and opportunity, to slay the tongue, to be the tongue, to speak for the unspoken. Inspire me, without will or power to deny. |
In the stammering to find the right words, I found there were none so useful to describe what I was doing. Like a deer caught in headlights, a robber caught in the act, I couldnt say anything meaningful. Circling around what I wanted to say, I never got to the meat of it. And now I sit and wonder, how hard is it to say what you are, who you are, what your passion is? It shouldnt be impossible and yet I still can't believe I couldnt find the right vocabulary to say it all. "So what do you do?" Im...a writer, a dreamer, a hopeful girl wishing to be better, to stop talking about it and just take the God awful leap into uncertainty. |