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Rated: 18+ · Book · Teen · #1684719
Teens try to protect themselves and their homes from a swarm of vampires.
A few years ago, I wrote a story called "Occurence at Read Hill." It told the story of a boy who unwittingly releases a pair of vampires when he's locked in a cemetery. I'd thought about writing further stories about the trio, maybe a novella about their attempts to survive undetected in a world where everyone literally has a number.



Instead, I started this. It tells the story of a group of friends in the northeast corner of Texas who band together to fight off an ever-growing coven of vampires. I'm trying to return to the original vampire that we all knew and loved before the Twilight phenomenon removed the fangs and gave them sunscreen.



I could really use some feedback from people who like vampire stories (or heck, feedback would be good anyway). The main characters are as follows:

                                          ________________________________________________________________



Christopher Townsend: Chris ran away from home and followed the railroad tracks all the way to Redwater, Texas. Don't ask him why--he won't discuss it.



Joseph McElhannon Crow: Joey's parents disappeared when he was ten. For nearly four years he lived in the Arkansas foster care system, until his cousin convinced a judge to give him custody of Joey, and they moved to the thriving metropolis of Maud, Tx.



Derek McElhannon: Derek's parents were killed in a car accident when he was five. He lived on the streets of Philadelphia with a Boston Terrier for a few months until the dog led him to a Franciscan boarding school. He learned Scripture and soon realized his calling to bring rest to the undead. No one is sure if he was born at 11:58 on the night before Pentacost or at 12:01 the morning of.



Elizabeth Marie Embry: Lizzie was raised in Maud, where she was one of the most socially-affluent girls in town. After Derek rescued her from a vampire near her house, she promised to aid him in eradicating them.



Kimberly Langley: Kim grew up in Redwater. She first encountered the undead on the evening she met Derek, and has sworn to help him. She keeps the records of all the missing locals and the vanquished vampires, along with a seemingly-endless knowledge of area lore, history, and geography.



Jackson Daniel Pate: Jack was in Kim's class from kindergarten on, though before meeting Derek they never spoke. He played football when he started high school and lived a rather haphazard life of partying and sex. He was attacked and nearly killed by a vampire before Derek and the girls saved him. He fell in love with Kim, and asked her out when he got out of the hospital. His father, a Bowie County Sheriff's Deputy, became the group's source within the Sheriff's department fairly early in their hunt.



Popcorn: Popcorn's name comes from the first meal she foraged for Derek. She was born under the stairs of a breeder's house in Philadelphia. From brith, she has possessed incredible intelligence, possibly higher than most humans. When she overheard her mistress' plans to seperate her from her mother and sell her to a puppy mill, she escaped to the streets. She was also born with many of Derek's supernatural gifts, and realized he was significant in her destiny when she was able to speak directly into his mind.



Jonathan Irving: Johnny is only significant in that he was the first in a long string of disappearances and murders in Bowie County.



Joseph Gothe Von Frank: The son of a displace German noble and an ancient vampire, Joey became a vampire in 1854 when he was sixteen. The people of Boston, Texas managed to bind him in a coffin for a century and a half, but when Johnny Irving broke the spell, he was unleashed upon the county's young people.

                                          ________________________________________________________________



I could really use some input on how I can make this story better. Please let me know if you have questions, comments, anything at all.



J.

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