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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/blog/callmetj/day/10-13-2025
Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #1921220

My thoughts released; a mind set free

These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations.

Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free.

Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written.

October 13, 2025 at 8:45pm
October 13, 2025 at 8:45pm
#1099254
I'm learning with each new day how to adjust my eating habits to compensate for my surgery. It's a big change for someone who gulped down food with little chewing most of my life. But now, I have to chew everything very fine, take small bites, and eat slowly; I used to be the first one done, now I'm the last.

The most difficult for me is the amount I can eat at one sitting and how to tell when I'm full. Everything is different now that they removed my esophagus and the very top of the stomach, then pulled and stretched my stomach up and attached it just below my bronchial tubes.

I get hungry, but I don't get full. Instead, the food just fills up my modified stomach until it's at the top, resulting in coughing, gag reflex, and spitting up like a baby. I have it figured out to about a cup of food per sitting, but it also depends on the food. Soft and liquid foods allow me to eat a bit more if I eat them very slowly. Solid foods fill me up quicker, no matter how long I take to consume them.

I've been doing pretty good, but on days like today, I slip. I had an infusion today, starting with a blood draw at seven-thirty, consulting with the doctor an hour later, and then the infusions (there are four most sessions, but once a month a fifth is added in) began around a quarter to nine and go until one or two, depending on the fifth chemical/IV.

I don't eat much while they are pumping me full of poison; I just snack a bit. After I get home, I relax in my comfortable chair after giving the dogs some attention, and wait for dinner.

Tonight I was starving, and we decided on grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup. My wife dished me up a cup of soup and one grilled cheese made with two kinds of cheese. We figured I might manage half the sandwich and maybe a fourth cup of soup, but like I said, I was ravaged. So, once half the sandwich and soup were gone, I should have just stopped.

I had eaten slowly and I didn't feel the food getting high up my stomach, so I ate a bit more, and when things seemed alright, I ate a bit more. I ate the entire sandwich and cup of soup, but shortly after, I knew I shouldn't have. I walked around a bit and did everything I knew of to get the food to settle down more, but nothing worked, and like a baby that eats too fast or too much, I've been spitting up and feeling miserable. It's finally starting to settle...


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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/blog/callmetj/day/10-13-2025