My thoughts released; a mind set free |
These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. |
I was prescribed eight rounds of intensive chemo, four before surgery and four after. I divided my treatment plan into three parts. Part one, four chemo infusions, part two, intensive surgery (I was in for six and a half hours instead of the anticipated four), and now part three, four more doses of poison chemo infusions. However, a part four has been added, a year of immunology that was started with my last infusion and will continue monthly for a year. Today I had my second infusion of the last four, so only two are left. This time around, however, is twice as rough as the first round. Already, my taste is shot, and the swelling in my legs is back. My jaw hurts when I chew, and I'm back to using nausea meds. The worst this time around is the neuropathy. It is worse in my hands and feet, and cold intensifies the tingling/sleeping feeling into micro-lightning bolts shooting from my fingertips up into my hands. I have to wear gloves to handle anything cold (around fifty degrees). I also discovered last night, while sipping on a cold glass of water, that it's also present in my lips, mouth, and throat. One more month; my third infusion in two weeks, and the last two weeks after that. But to look that far ahead with the side effects already this bad is downright depressing. So I'm trying to focus on one day at a time. |