My thoughts released; a mind set free |
These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. |
Four infusions before surgery, then four more after. That was the plan back in June when all this started. However, from the start, things began to change. Originally, it was six infusions, then a break for surgery. After surgery, I would have two more infusions just to ensure all the cancer was killed off. However, even though I was handling the chemo infusions better than most, my oncologist decided to do four, then surgery, then four more infusions, as well as starting immunology. This time around, the infusions are taking an intense toll on my well-being. With my limited food and water intake, I cannot maintain my nutrition. I almost passed out today from abdominal cramping and pain, and I'm finding it more and more difficult to hold on to what little food I do eat. This has led to more research and a lot more questions, like: Why did I only need two infusions after surgery, but now it's four? My surgeon told me I was cancer-free after surgery, and that a few chemo infusions were just to ensure any stray cancer cells in my system would be destroyed. Also, the immunology infusions by themselves could destroy any, if there are any, rogue cancer cells. Another question is why my oncologist isn't doing a CT scan until after the last infusion. Shouldn't he do a scan now to see if there's even any cancer to kill off? Because the chemo is taking a heavy toll, and because I want answers, I have decided to stop my chemo infusions for the time being. I will meet with and discuss this with my oncologist one week from tomorrow. I want to be scanned and tested to see if I even need any more chemo before proceeding. However, since I already started immunology treatments, I will continue with them. I will also be looking for another oncologist since the research indicated there were several different treatment plans and surgeries that should have been discussed with my wife and me back in June. Knowing now what I didn't know then, I do believe that my team did make the best decisions for the course of treatment they put me on, but I also believe they should have discussed options and why they chose the path they did. Tomorrow I'm going to see a cardiologist about the Afib I had while in the hospital. It stopped before I was discharged, but after the last infusion, I'm having some chest discomfort as well as shortness of breath, at times. I have been monitoring my pulse and blood pressure through the local hospital, and they're staying normal for the most part. Most likely the problem is dehydration, and going in to get rehydrated by IV a few times a week seems to have fixed the problems, but they still insist I see a cardiologist. On Tuesday, I go back to see my surgeon and have a scope put down my throat to see why I'm having problems swallowing again. It's restricted, and sometimes I cannot swallow anything more than liquid. Again, the health care team here at the local hospital believes it's from the chemo causing problems with the surgical site in my throat, but they want me to do a follow-up with the surgeon to ensure it's not anything more. Also, he can stretch the tissue and make it easier to swallow while looking things over. It's a lot going on, and some important decisions to make, so it's time to gather information, get second opinions, and hopefully make the best decissions for moving forward. |