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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/blog/callmetj/day/10-22-2025
Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #1921220

My thoughts released; a mind set free

These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations.

Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free.

Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written.

October 22, 2025 at 7:24pm
October 22, 2025 at 7:24pm
#1099885
Today was a bit rough. The chemo has me so wiped out that I'm having difficulty recovering from the effects of the anesthesia yesterday. I'm still coughing up a bit of blood from having my throat stretched (the chemo thins my blood, so I bleed very easily), and today my sinuses started to bleed off and on for no reason other than it's a side effect of the infusions. I was also pretty dehydrated this morning and woke with cramping and nausea at three this morning.

But I was able to get into the local hospital that has a satellite cancer center from the one I go to in Fargo to get a liter of fluid pumped into me, along with some medications to help with the other side effects. The nausea is again under control, my sinuses have stopped bleeding, and I'm feeling a lot better after sleeping most of the afternoon.

This morning, I was having trouble buttoning my shirt, and the tingling in my feet made it difficult to walk, but just a short time ago I took the dogs out and played with them for a little bit. I managed a few throws of the ball for Bellah and chased Max a little before I became winded and needed to come back inside. Luckily, they pick up on how I'm doing and let me know it was time to quit and come back in.

While at the local hospital today, I did speak with a couple of the nurses about the upcoming infusion I'm scheduled for next Tuesday and how I was putting it on hold until after I talked to my oncologist and had some tests run to see if there's even any cancer let to kill. As it turned out, a different oncologist was at the hospital today (mine refuses to come here, I have to go to him) and they had me talk with him.

He was surprised they didn't test for cancer after my surgery. In fact, he thought it a good idea not to take any more infusions until after I've been tested. He also said he would consult with my oncologist, whom he works with quite often, to see why things got messed up, and I wasn't scanned after surgery.

That is one of the problems I'm having with our local medical facility; it seems like the right hand doesn't know what the left is doing, things get lost in translation, and I'm thinking of dropping all of them. Don't get me wrong, the doctors are great, but the system they work under is flawed and messing things up. For example, I was supposed to get a liter of saline infused on Monday, but somehow the orders got lost. I was finally able to get orders for an infusion today and set up a schedule for when I can go in for future ones; last week, I had the physician's assistant contact my oncologist, who had wanted me to be able to go in for fluids as needed, but this week the order had been removed. By who? Nobody seems to know.

I will meet with my oncologist next Monday and see what he has to say, but if it's not in line with what I've researched and talked about with other doctors, I'll be looking for a new oncologist for a second opinion. Right now, I'm giving serious thought to see if I can switch over to the cancer center in Fergus Falls through the VA.
October 22, 2025 at 6:52am
October 22, 2025 at 6:52am
#1099845
At least I'm hoping to get back on track after missing a few of my badges yesterday. I did log in, but that's all I managed to get done here.

Shortly after waking up, I had to get ready to have an endoscopy of my throat done in Fargo, about an hour and a half if traffic and road construction don't add another half hour. Yesterday, neither delayed us, so we got to the hospital early, which turned out to be a good thing.

I couldn't eat anything, but my wife was hungry, so we went to the little cafe they have in the hospital. While there, we encountered my surgeon, who would be doing the procedure after he had eaten lunch. We ended up having a nice consultation, discussed my progress, and talked about the problem I was having swallowing; a free meeting with a surgeon? Who would have guessed it?

After the procedure, he explained that the problem was fairly common during the healing process and that many patients have to return at least once, usually two or three times after the surgery, to have the junction of the stomach and throat stretched. I fell into that group and had to have it stretched, which he did during the procedure. He also told me that it's likely to become restricted again and that I may have to have it stretched again. In my own research, I've discovered that this may be something I have to have done once or twice a year for the rest of the years I have left.

After the procedure, I had to take care of some VA issues while in Fargo. Anyone who has dealt with the VA knows that nothing is quick with them, so it was late afternoon before we returned home. Luckily, I had brought some protein-rich snacks along for myself since I couldn't eat anything before.

By the time we did get home, I was wiped out and fell asleep in my chair, and didn't wake up until shortly before bedtime. I did enjoy a small piece of my wife's birthday cake with a scoop of ice cream before bed. Yes, I slept for three hours, ate cake and ice cream, then turned in and slept most of the night, but woke too damn early.

But these early morning hours give me some time to get back on track for my badges.


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Printed from https://shop.writing.com/main/profile/blog/callmetj/day/10-22-2025