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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. |
| Yesterday, I felt a little better; I'm finally recuperating a bit from my last chemo infusion, and it's just in time for the next one, scheduled for Tuesday. From experience, I know it will be twice as bad as the last one. But, I won't be doing any further chemo until after I'm tested to see if there's even any reason to do chemo. I haven't been tested for cancer since June, six chemo infusions and one surgery ago. I'll see my oncologist on Monday and discuss this with him. He has me scheduled for a CT scan in November to look and see if I'm cancer-free or not. I've been told that most cancer centers look at various times throughout the process to determine if more infusions are needed, as well as the strength of the infusions, and how often the infusions should be. Much of my research also indicates that this is better than my oncologist's plan of four infusions, surgery, and then four more without a single test to see if there's even any cancer left to kill. Another issue is insurance. I'm currently covered through my wife's insurance from work, but it's expensive, and there's a rather big copay that will start again with the new year. I also have my VA medical that I can switch over to, so we can save what my coverage costs and avoid another ten-grand copay. It would also mean switching to a cancer center in Fergus Falls, which is quite a bit closer than Fargo. There's a lot to consider, a lot to discuss, and possibly opinions from another oncologist. But, I fear that if I continue the chemo, the damage it's doing may very likely become irreversible, meaning loss of quality of life and the ability to do many of the things I enjoy. But, on the flip side, if I don't stop the cancer, quality of life isn't the only thing I'll lose. |
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