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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. |
| Today was another good day, but tomorrow I start round three of my infusions. If it goes as well as round two, it won't be bad, just a few little things that are more irritating than anything. I have to do the next two rounds in Fargo, a two-hour drive, so to be there by eight, I have to get up no later than five. That's almost before time! But, it's better than last time when I had to be there by six-thirty. This round is going to be 10% more potent, so it may be a bit rougher for the first few days. We'll see. I did find out that a lot of my fatigue was caused by anemia. They have me increasing my iron intake and my protein intake, both were pretty low at my last lab. I'll find out tomorrow when they test everything if I'm back in the normal range. Not much else right now, so hopefully I'll "see" you tomorrow sometime. |
| So, once again, time has pulled a fast one. I thought it was just a couple two or three days since I was in here, but it's been eight! I'm blaming it on aliens; mayhaps I was abducted or something. Anyway, it's been a busy week, but a good week. I'm feeling almost as well as I did before all this started, except I can't seem to eat as much as before; I get full on about half as much. But, my weight is staying the same and I'm compensating by eating more often to keep my strength up and to ensure my nutritional needs are being met. (not that I couldn't stand to lose a few pounds) A few days back, we drove over to South Dakota's Hartford Beach State Park to deliver a couple of kayaks to our daughter. They are coming out, and we have a couple of kayaks we don't use anymore, so we decided to give them to her. When we showed up with them in the back of the pickup, the grandkids were squealing with delight. We didn't stay very long; it was getting late, they were still setting up, and the skeeters were outrageous. But we did get a chance to visit everyone, get hugs from the grandkids, and watch them trying to get their tents set up (grandma was soon assisting). Yesterday, I took my wife's nephew over to Fargo to pick up his new (to him) Harley. We had a nice visit, and I meandered through the store looking at the Harleys. I found one that was baby blue and orange (my wife's and my favorite colors), so I texted her to see if I could buy it. She said no, something about not having any money, but I don't know why that would matter. Next time I think I should just buy it and bring it home, I know if she saw how pretty it is she'd let me keep it... Today was hot, humid, and not much of a breeze, but I was feeling good, needed my exercise, and decided to start clearing some brush out from the treeline. There's a lot of buckthorn growing in there, and we want to clear it out. I made a pretty good dent in chopping and dragging the prickly buggers out. But swinging a grub-axe is hard work, and I had to take a couple of breaks. I may work on it again tomorrow, depending on the weather and how I'm feeling. All in all, things are going well. I'm hopeful that the next round of chemo on Monday will go as well as the last one did. |
| Officially, today is the first day of summer, and tomorrow and Sunday, we will see heat indexes in the triple digits. Living in a tourist area, weekends are overcrowded with pilgrims, so we tend to stay close to home and do our fun stuff during the week after the weekend wackos have returned home. By Monday, it's supposed to be back in the 70s, and this works out fine, just fine. Yesterday I mowed the yard, which I can normally do in one shift, stopping only to fill the mower with gasoline (I use a push mower). Yesterday, however, I found that I had to work in shifts, doing about a third of the work, then taking a break to rest. I had to push myself a bit to get the last third of the yard mowed. The fresh air and exercise payed off, however, and I was able to go to bed and fall asleep by 10:30 p.m. and didn't get up (I wake at least four or five times a night now) until 9:30 a.m.; that's the most sleep I've gotten in one night since all this horse-puckey started. Today I woke feeling pretty good, but a little stiff and sore from yesterday's mowing. I felt fine up until I ate lunch, which didn't settle very well. But the new nausea meds they put me on cleared that right up without any side effects. So, after my wife left for work, I took the dogs for a ride into town to pick up softener salt. After we returned home, I sat outside for a while and let them play and frolic. Afterwards, I filled the salt reservoir and I started a load of laundry. A touch of humor I shared with my wife today. Because of the chemo, I'm a bit toxic for about 48 hours after my infusions. I had a song pop into my head that seemed to fit my current toxicity, which I shared with her. She was still singing it when she left for work... |
| I'm up early again today after another restless night. I take steroids on the second and third days of treatment, and they have some unpleasant side effects, including insomnia. But, I don't have to retake them until the next round, and I'm feeling pretty well today. The sun is shining, it's in the sixties, a beautiful morning. We are forecast to have lots of sunshine throughout the day and reach the mid to upper eighties today and tomorrow. However, we are under a heat advisory for Saturday, with high humidity and temperatures nearing 100. It's sure been a crazy spring. |
| It seems the day after my infusions tends to be the worst. But since this is only my second round of chemo, and I can't foresee what I'll feel like tomorrow, I can't be sure. I was doing real well yesterday when I got up, but I still had an infusion going through a portable pump (better than being in the hospital hooked to an IV, but still a pain). I also have to take steroids on days two and three, which were yesterday and today. They seem to be the cause of the giddiness, fatigue, and decreased appetite. They also cause insomnia, so I didn't get much sleep last night and probably won't tonight. I am also sweating a lot today, we are finally back in the upper 70s and lower 80s. It's one way my body get's the chemo crap out, lots of sweating and flushed with lots of water. So, this round has been better than the first round of chemo, I' feeling better than last time and even up to logging in, making some comments, and blogging.; |
| No! Not that number two, chemo infusion number two. I had labs done first and then met with the doctor's assistant. The labs showed everything in the green, very healthy numbers, and a lot better than the lab they took before I started (a comparison sample). The PA told me most people start out with great numbers, and with chemo, they start to drop or spike. I guess I've never gone with the majority, so it seems normal. I am tired, but feel pretty good, better than the first time around. I have a pump on until 2:00 p.m. tomorrow, then take steroids for two day. Oh, and I'll have a shot in my arm or stomach (my choice) to trigger my bone marrow to pick up the pace and make some white blood cells. That shot hurts a lot, but it's better than getting an infection, cold, etc, and the steroids cause insomnia and can cause a host of other side effects for a couple of days. So, I'm likely going to be tired, feeling off, and have aching muscles and joints until about Thursday. But, we switched a few of my meds to better counter these, so we will see. Also, my last biopsy was sent to the Mayo Clinic. It was cut from a growth in my abdomen that wasn't normal, but the surgeon couldn't identify what the mass was. He said it's non-cancerous and the fluid he extracted from a couple of lymph nodes that could have been cancerous, wasn't; it hasn't spread and is localized and highly treatable! I wonder, is it my gizzard? Anyway, round two is almost done, and it is going better than round one. In fact, the oncologist and the surgeon have changed my treatment plan; now I am set to have six infusions, then surgery, and follow up with two more infusions. Why, because the more chemo I have before surgery, the greater the likelihood that all the cancer will be removed. They changed it because I'm handling the infusions a lot better than they anticipated. It's all good so far. |
| In my last entry, I was feeling and doing pretty well. But I kind of went downhill after that. Nothing serious, just extremely tired, dizzy, and trouble focusing. I discovered it was a reaction to the after-chemo medication I was on, and stopped taking it. The last few days, I've been feeling more like my old self. I also do not recommend anyone start chemo three days out from surgery. It's just a bit more than the body can handle, and it significantly slows recovery time. But I've recovered, and now that I'm not taking the meds for appetite and nausea, I'm doing a lot better. Tomorrow is round two of chemo and I'm thinking it's going to be a bit better than round one, since I'm not recovering from surgery this time. I will also be on a different medication for appetite and nausea since I didn't do well on the other one. My doctor also adjusted the steroid I take the first few days after my infusion, stating it will also help with the insomnia I had for the first week after. I suppose it takes a few treatments to work the bugs out and find the right combinations for each individual, but I'm happy to say that I can eat normally again; the tumor seems to have already shrunk. I'm feeling good physically now and I'm staying positive. I'm also hoping that I'll be able to start getting more done around here and in that alternate world called life. |
| Yes, today I find myself thinking of the song, "The Air That I Breath", by The Hollies. Not only is it a terrific song, but it fits the air quality here today; it's breathable again. Over the last two days, it's been like a ground fog for us here in upper Minnesota. But last night the winds shifted and the air began to clear. Today, it's labeled as fair, although there's still a bit of a haze in the sky. It's a gray haze, or I'd likely be thinking of Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze". I'm still feeling pretty good after the first round of chemo, just tired. Of course, some of that is likely a result of the poor air quality over the last few days. I also experienced sensitivity to cold objects for a few days, but that has since passed. The surgery wounds are healing well and now itch instead of ache. Of course, they also shaved these areas, and returning hair is adding to the itch, but I did get some lidocaine cream that relieves the itchiness quite well. I also get a week and a half before my next chemo session, and I'm looking forward to getting some stuff done now that I'm healing up from the surgery. Still another week of taking it easy and no heavy lifting, but I can start doing a few things again. |
| I had my first round of chemo on Monday, four rounds at the cancer center, and then a portable pump for another 24-hour dose that was removed this afternoon. So far, so good; some minor issues, but nothing severe. I still have my appetite, I'm not nauseous, and feeling pretty good. I am fatigued, though. This, however, was present before I started the chemo; I have some lab issues that need to be corrected. I talked with a dietitian who is helping to correct some of the lab issues, and I've had some infusions to help with the other areas that are out of range. I get two weeks before my next session of chemo, and they will do a full lab then to see how things are going. I'm hoping that with things getting corrected I'll have a bit more energy in the days to come, and now that things are started I'll be sleeping better nights. Hopefully I'll be a it more active here again soon. |
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