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This is gonna be thoughts and mental ramblings for discussion. |
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| Well, it is the end of the school year and time for the kids to see what they have learned. Or as I see it, just how much I have failed in making sure The Runtyun actually learned something and did her homework. As you may tell, I am not pleased with how things are going right now. A lot has to do with The Runtyun's drive to do the things she is supposed to, pay attention in school, complete her homework assignments, etc. As much as her ability to do those things is important, it is my responsibility as a father to instill in her the desire to do them. I am not doing so well in that regard. I like the way they are tested nowadays, though. The first part is an online set of ten tests that give some kind of base line to work with and reviews what they have learned over the past school year. Unfortunately, we did not understand the due date. Luckily, the teacher emailed me and let me know the situation. Now, here we are aware, and The Runtyun is working very hard to get caught up. I hear her huffing and puffing her way through the testing regimen. She is getting frustrated, but she is keeping at it. She has gotten herself in a situation that is difficult to get out of, yet she will not quit. I do not like that we are in this situation, but it makes it easier to know that the Runtyun is trying so hard to make it right. I have sweetened the pot for her to complete the work by saying we will go camping if she can get the work done by a certain time. It will be only one night out, but she seems be working toward that goal. She is a good kid and I really think she is smarter than I ever was, now I just need to instill in her the drive to work at, and accomplish her goals. Though I never did well in school, I have always been motivated to finish a goal. I hope I can find a way to teach her this characteristic. “Just don't quit because the task in front of you seems insurmountable.” No, that does not work. Try this instead, “If the job ahead is too hard to do, then break it down into easier steps.” Those words are so easily said, yet so hard to do. 'Nough said. olc |
| I was driving home the other day on this four lane road, Brevard Rd., when I came up to a light. There was a car in the left lane waiting for the light to go to green. So I shifted over to the right lane, knowing the green light was coming soon. I did not want to loose the energy of momentum. It's just the type of guy I am. I knew if I stayed in the left lane I would have to stop and then start again, thus using more gas. I timed it right and barely slowed, all the while flying past the standing car. As I was getting ready to move back to my original lane I glanced in the mirror to make sure everything was clear. There was the car I had just passed at the light, in my blind spot (good thing I looked). I accelerated to compensate and get into the lane. Now the van is a little sluggish and does not really have any real kick-ass speed. It is build to take things to places in an efficient manner. Yet when I looked back to see if the way was clear, this guy had actually moved up, blocking my egress into the lane! This got me a little ticked off, so I pushed down on the peddle a little harder, yet this guy continued to crawl up on my left. I had to get into that lane, in only a matter of yards the lane I was in would exit to an on-ramp to the Blue Ridge Parkway. As nice as the Parkway is, I wanted to get home. I had to get into the left lane. So I slowed and let this guy go ahead. As we drove on through on the now two-lane road leading home, this guy had an open road, giving him a free ride to go as fast as he wanted. The car barely drove the speed limit. Why did he have to be in front of me? what was going through his head? What do you think was going on in this guy's head? Leave a note or comment. olc |
| I wanted to get some maintenance done on the van Saturday, so I made an appointment at the Firestone franchise. Most of my vehicle maintenance is done there and I am usually very happy with their service. This time I wanted to have the tires rotated, which is free-a great incentive, and an oil change. I made the appointment for 7:30 AM so I could get on with the day. (Early bird, and so forth.) I arrived at 7:20 hoping to get the whole thing done in an expeditious manner. Walking in the door, I saw 3 or four other customers with the same idea. It's a good thing I made that appointment, I reminded myself. At the desk, I was told that it may be a minute or two before they get my van into a dock. I said that was why I made an appointment, so I would not have to wait. No reply. Then I was told that I should be out after 8:00 AM. OK. Great, that is not so bad, I thought. I waited and watched my van sit in the parking lot for over an hour before it even got moved into a bay. It finally made it into the bay an hour and 10 minutes after the appointed time. There was a managers special on oil changes and I wanted to take advantage of it. It turns out though, I needed to fill out an application for some promotion in order to get the advertised rate. Disappointment number two. I gave specific instructions on how I wanted the tires rotated, but the job was done differently. Disappointment number three. I have been going to Firestone for 5 years now and this is the first real complaint I have had. It is just plain annoying to get up and out of the house on an early Saturday morning for an appointment and have to wait for over an hour for a service that takes less then 30 minutes to do. What do you think? Am I whining over nothing or do I have a legitimate complaint? Let me know what you think. olc |
| I was watching Netflix's House of Cards and I had a kind of epiphany. During the pre-show credits there is a montage of Washington, D.C. views, some of which show a positive outlook while others show the underbelly of the city. Two times during the opening, the image of the Lions at the memorial for U.S. Grant are shown. These are proud beasts on their posts of honor, with heads held high. More than any other part of the program these images seem to personify the power of American pride (see what I did there? ;-O). I have been struggling lately trying to understand how those on the right can be so obtuse. I just cannot understand how a large segment of our society can work against a segment of their very own society. I have been trying to bend my brain into excepting the thought that they just don't care about those not as fortunate, or lucky or forceful. As I understand it, Conservatives and Libertarians, among other things, pride themselves on their independence and self-sufficiency. They picture themselves as the lone wolf (or lion, as the case may be)...the leaders who need no support, only they can do it right. Now lets remember, I am not a part of this political movement, so what I am saying here is my interpretation, or observation. The Conservative right wing of the Republican Party seems to think that a smaller government will be the best thing for our country as a whole. There is no doubt that a smaller less regulated society would be better for, in the short run at any rate, many members of our society. Business 101 says that a business needs to do whatever it takes to create a better bottom line. This is a sound business practice that has worked for a long, long time (long before the Earth has gotten as populated as it is, with its resources becoming scarce as they are now). This thinking does not take into account the environment, or the socio-economic world we live today, it only rewards the making of money equalling success. Nor does it, in my opinion, take into account the ability to keep making money while growing a powerful base for the future. I have a whole lot more to say on the subject, most of it is progressive in nature. What I have to say looks out for the future of our world and society. So lets get a conversation going and see what we can do for the future of our kids! As in the opening credits of House of Cards, lets understand that we have a beautiful and powerful country, but there is an underbelly of corruption and filth that we, as citizens of our great country, need to purify! olc |
| The other day some one on my FaceBook news feed posted a video of a guy being questioned about his carrying a gun in the open. Here is the link: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jfdEbe7e9GE I made a comment about how I thought the guy was being a kinda ass. Let me state that the guy had every Constitutional right to do what he was doing, I thought he was just being an ass for doing it and the way he was doing it. Some one commented on my comment. He used all of the standard Right wing and Teaparty rhetoric. Our conversation roamed around a bunch of different hot button gun issues. But never seemed to really deal with the subject of my original post. It seems that whenever I made a good strong and irrefutable argument, the topic bounced someplace else. I have seen this tactic many times and though it is frustrating, it seems to be an acceptable way to control a conversation. I have to admit, I may have used it once or twice. Having said that, I think the some use it to divert away from a weak, or hypocritical argument. Our conversation finally drifted to the Travon Martin, Zimmerman shooting in Florida. I had hoped that we could get some understanding on that subject. I am such am optimist! It turns out that I was totally misinformed on the whole thing. There were details that did not make it into the mainstream media. Important things. Things like the boy was being disrespectful and antagonistic toward Mr. Zimmerman. Being the guy I am, I wanted to know more of the things that I had missed out on. It turns out that there were eye witnesses, despite what I had heard stating that no one had stepped up, and they say the whole thing, according to my new FB friend, was about the boy disrespecting the man with the gun. It turns out that the boy was being disrespectful to the man, my FB friend reminded me again and again. It also turns out, according to my new FB friend, that Travon Martin had gone home and then went out looking for Mr. Zimmerman and that is when the two had their final confrontation that resulted in the shooting of a 17 year old man. I have not heard this before and don't know the truth here. It turns out that, Martin was being DISRESPECTFUL, and used the sidewalk as deadly weapon. He was not doing as he was told. I think that my FB friend was trying to tell me that it was Travon Martin's fault that he got shot, so I asked my FB friend that very question, "Are you saying that it was the victims fault he got shot to death?" My new relationship with my new FB friend did not last very long. He never did answered my question and I think he blocked me. Now we all know that I may not be the swiftest boat on the lake and sometimes I miss the really important things, so maybe I missed the hint this guy was sending me. My excuse is that I was working and distracted by minor things like cars and people crossing the street while I was making deliveries. It finally came to me, he was sending me a code word! I have another fault, one that has gotten me in trouble a few times and one that I really don't want to change: I just don't understand how any one can think that because some one has different color skin, they can be told what to do and how to act. I think that my lost FB friend was trying to say that the boy needed to be punished because he was being disrespectful. I asked him if he should be shot and die because he was being disrespectful? He directed the conversation someplace else, but it went back to the whole respect thing, and how Zimmerman was not wrong to do anything that he did, including shooting a boy for being disrespectful. I reminded him that the police had told Zimmerman to back off and stay in the car. And that is when I asked the fateful question, "Was it the victims fault he got shot." And got blocked. This would be the place in this commentary, that I should editorialize and make my statement about the whole idiocy of that killing of a 17 year old boy by a wannabe cop and over-achieving neighbourhood watchman. But I want to hear what you have to say about it first. olc |
| The other day I had a visit from a friend. Now this person and I go back a ways. I was infatuated with some work my friend did which I studied for a college assignment. I was lucky enough to get an interview with this person and a friendship of sorts was ensued. We have a rather contentious relationship, we will go for long periods of time without seeing each other. During one point in our relationship I felt pushed away, used like a piece of trash to be discarded. Then again I may have done the same. Whenever I get a visit from my friend, I am happy and excited. My friend is an exciting person and always brightens my day. This time we were gonna talk about a story I was working on, after all my friend is a published author and the closest thing I have to a muse. My door burst open and we were on. We talked and hugged, got caught up and settled into reading my work. After reading it, I was told to email the story, and she would go further into it. The moonshine was out and some flowed. Something else was brought out and partaken. I have been wondering about that stuff and how I could deal with it. Well, after a bit my brain was not working so well. It was at that moment my friend said, "If you were a real man you'd drink that," nodding to the sip or more of beverage in front of me. "I've finished 4 shots and you have not finished with yours." I was a little confounded by that statement, and my head was spinning from it and other things roaming around my brain. I was not sure what to say, so I picked up my glass, swirled it, sniffed it and drank half what was there looking my friend in the eye all the while. I put the drink down...and lef it there. We talked awhile, but never really got to talking about my story or how to make it better. Finally it was time for my friend to go. My friend had many things to do during the day and I wanted to continue with my writing. A little something-something was left for me to use later, though I kinda knew I would not. It bothered me that my manhood would be challenged by my friend. My past with all its abuses was well known. We have talked about my addictions, yet when I knew that I was at a point where I had to stop, my very being was challenged. I wanted to drink that stuff and I wanted to do the other, but I knew a cliff was in front of me and I could not fall off. There would be no bottom until the final Crash. Does this make me less than a man? Do I suffer from wimpitis because I know a bad thing when I find it? If that is the case, than I am a wimp. I walked out side after my friend left and I was reminded of all the other times I had done the very same thing, only I had said yes back then. I remembered the empty feeling of wanting more. I remembered the way the world looked in the middle of the afternoon when I was f***ed-up with various poisons in my blood. I remembered the need to get more into my system---to make me feel better---? I felt all of these feelings right at that moment. I knew it was all false, even my feelings of inadequacy were not real, at least partly. I felt empty and knew that I could fill that empty space with chemicals and feel happy for a moment. I went back into the house and threw the shit into the fire and closed that door. olc |
| This is something I posted on my blog: http://adaddygrowsup.blogspot.com. Have a read and let me know what you think. I have a tough series of decisions to make about the future of my daughter's spiritual life. We live in an area that has few other kids close by and I don't get home until supper time. This leaves The Runtyun alone for a long time during the day. This is not a very good situation for her. She just sits around reading and stewing. Not producing anything beneficial for anyone, much less herself. I had hoped that she would find it within herself to become motivated to do something, anything to better herself. I have given her projects to do, subjects to learn about, in general things to help her to be occupied while alone. She likes to read. Her ability to sit and read is phenomenal, yet useless. I need to find a way to turn that ability into something productive, without my looking over her shoulder and motivating her. We have worked our way into the Big Brother, Big Sister program. Like her Dad, it took one try to get it right. We went through one Big and found a good match the second time around. So we have some positive action going on. During a recent meeting with her school counsellor, Ms. Mackey and Mentor, Ms. Nettles, a youth group was suggested called Young Life. I have done a little research on this group and though it was sold to me as a non religious group, they seem to have very strong Christian influence. And of course this is where I my have my problem. I have talked about my beliefs before, so I will not belabour it too much, after all this is about The Runtyun, not me. I do have some reservations about putting her into another Christian oriented youth group. Two specifically. The first is how will it work with her EYC at All Souls? Will there be a conflict between the two beliefs and how can we deal with it? In all honesty, I am quite happy with what goes on with her EYC and am not trying to replace it, but I want to get her out and interacting with more kids her age.The second is a little more profound to me. Do I really want to push her into another Christian group when my belief is so profoundly antagonistic toward religion? What kind of message does this send to her? Simply stated, Confusing. So this is the conundrum I have. Does anyone out there have anything to say? Any suggestions, or insights? olc |
| The plethora of resources available on writing.com is great! There is so much here that I have not even begun to discover it all. I like the that I can review some one’s story or poetry and get recognition for it. When I finally do get the story I am writing finished, I will be able to have people look at it and give advice on editing through final publication, whether it is be an ePub or actual book form. There are writing contests to be entered---and won. If I decide to upload a story and have it reviewed by other authors, this can be dune too. If I get to a place in a story where I don’t know what to do, their prompts will help me find my muse. Such a great resource for such a minuscule price! My time is limited and this means that I do not get to spend much of it exploring the depths of anything. As I bump into something that I think will benefit me, I look into it. So, that means I have not really delved into the depths provided by this site. Yet, from what I have seen so far, I like it. Reviewing another author's story is a great exercise in self analysis. It helps one to look at some ones work and find something different. It also helps the reviewer to find perceived flaws in their own work and maybe find a better interpretation, thus helping to open new ideas and literary and imaginative roads to pursue. The only thing I have an issue with is the reward system. Most if the time we are given a fairly short amount of time to read then reread and write and rewrite a brief review. Now I am of the opinion that if some one puts their hard written work up for review, they want an honest and well thought out critique. To be honest, I cannot not do a quality assignment in an hour or so, especially if the work is over 1000 words. Now I know I could just ignore the gift points that are offered as incentive, but I don't want to loose out on them. Quite the dilemma though, I will however, keep reviewing a project even after the time allotted for rewards has passed. Hmm, quite the dilemma. The whole idea of crowd editing is a great one. There will be a time when I'll need to have my work edited and eventually published and the idea of reaching out is made easier because of the resources provided by writing.com. Also, due to the contests, I have found myself, writing some short stories and submitting them for review. And as I said earlier anytime we can get positive feed back is a time to rejoice. Though this is far in my future, a couple months anyhow, the site has access to publishing agents and, hopefully, by then, I hope I'll have enough savvy to reach out and use them. And from there the sky is the limit. Well, that is about all I have been able to figure out concerning the site. I know there is so much more to explore here and I'll get to it eventually. Suffice it to say that for the meagre amount of money for subscription, I am very happy with everything I have seen. Now let's see if the site can improve my writing skills to the point of a professional! (of course we know the writer ios not the tools he, or she uses, but the imagination and the ability to put those thought into a cohesive form. Good tools do help though, just sayin’ Thank you for taking a moment of your life to read my words. Please leave a comment and any critique to make it better. olc |
| A few days ago I was preparing supper and as usual, I had the radio on NPR, a story came up about a mother who was pregnant in Texas. She is brain dead. The hospital says it cannot remove the woman from of their machines because of her pregnancy. A couple links: http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/01/24/munoz-pregnant-brain-dead-l... http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/jan/24/texas-judge-hospital-life-support-b... The story must have caught The Runtyun's attention because she wondered into the kitchen and hovered around not saying anything. I thought, "Wow, we might get some time together without T.V. or other distractions.” So I went over to the radio and started to turn it off. "What are you doing? I'm listening to that." So much for talk time, but I thought maybe this could be OK too. We listened to the story, what a sad past two months this guy and his family has had. His wife, Marlise Munoz, his name is Erick, was laying on the floor unconscious for an unknown amount of time when he found her at 3:00 or 4:00 A.M.. She is pregnant, so because of the lack of oxygen the fetus too, is in danger. She was deeply engrossed in the story. This behavior from the Runtyun is unusual and I thought maybe we could learn something from this sad tale. So I broached the topic before she could escape back to her enclave, also known as her room. "What do you think about that?" I asked. "It's so sad." "How so," I asked hoping we could have a little talk and maybe I could begin to see how she feels about morality and stuff. Silence. She began to back out of the kitchen, but I caught her with, "What do you mean sad? Is it because she is not responsive? Or, that she is pregnant?" She looked at me and I knew she did not know how to put her thoughts into words, so I prodded a little. "You know it must be really difficult for her husband. I can't imagine what the guy must be going through in his head. He knows she is dead, yet he has to watch her in that hospital room." She still could not say anything. Finally I said, "What do you think they should do?" "Let her go. She’s dead, the baby probably will not make it and her family is suffering because the hospital is too scarred to do anything," she said with passion. A couple days went by and every time the story came up, I noticed that her ears perked. She listened to it. I was distracted by something else, but asked a little while later what was happening. The Runtyun said no, clearly disturbed by the story. “Why can’t they just let her go. She is already dead in her brain, the baby will come out badly handicapped and the family will have to deal with that pain.” Not to mention the pain of having lost his wife and being reminded of her every time he looks at the baby,” I added. Over NPR, we got word the Texas courts declared the woman dead and the hospital was ordered to take her off the ventilators. Finally the family could start to mend. I actually felt a weight slip off my shoulders. I went to The Runtyun’s enclave, also known as her room, and informed her of the latest detail. I was not surprised to see a big sigh of relief. She mouthed, “Thank God.” I saw she was really concerned for the woman and her surviving family. I asked her how she felt, and she asked, “Why did it take so long?” I tried to explain about the sanctity of life and that some feel that no matter what science and tests say, they feel every fetus deserves a chance at life. I told her that there are those who believe so profoundly that every pregnancy should go to term no matter what the circumstances or consequences that nothing else mattered. Some feel it is a mandate from God this should happen. While others use the law to force it. “But what about the family? Don’t they have a say?” “The law is the law,” I said, playing the devil’s advocate. I wish I could say we went into a profound conversation about religion and how some use it and the law to manipulate how others think and act, but we started to talk about something else, and I felt it best to let it go for now. I know this subject will bounce around her brain for a while and maybe she will be able and trusting enough to talk with me. Mostly though, I hope I can give the moral guidance she will be looking for. olc |
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